Time Management

I am usually an excellent multi tasker, but with the gloomy weather and change in my schedule, I feel a bit off.

This morning I got some errands run, then a conference call. After my call I need to feed Grayson lunch and attack the dining room and kitchen, I also have at least 10 loads of laundry to wash, and three to fold. Tonight I have to run a call, and get the bathrooms and Brittan's room cleaned in anticipation of my parents.

Between all of the chores, my papers I need to write, conference calls and work, I keep having to switch hats quickly, and it is a bit overwhelming. Tomorrow morning I will go get the big steam cleaner, and Ryan has agreed to be the steam cleaning man while I dust and organize.

I am happily looking forward to Monday, the kids are home and I am planning a quiet day at home, and if the weather agrees with us, we will do some gardening and outside clean up.

The aftereffects of insomnia

I am tired, very, very tired. All in all, I had a productive day, even though it began with Haven in tears (I think she is ready for school to be over) and the afternoon was filled with Grayson melt downs (no nap and he has a fever, looks like an ear infection brewing) Gray and I did some clean up this morning and lazed a bit. We left home around 11 am, and went to the craft store to get supplies for Haven's party this week. Then we went to lunch and to the farm. I love that we know the folks at the farm now, they see my car coming and get the milk ready, they know my name and Grayson's name and they always look so darn happy to see us! We picked up some plants for the pots we are making for my mom as well as our milk order then headed over to Justice to get Haven a few outfits for her birthday. Then home to start making the candies, feed the family, vacuum the house, work, etc. All I have left for the night is to do the dinner dishes, wipe the table and run a conference call. Tomorrow morning I will get some flowers for the flower pots, a new ink cartridge and the index cards for the favors I am making. Then home to fold clothes, clean bathrooms and wash sheets. Thursday will be the big clean day, we are steam cleaning all the carpets, and I am scrubbing the rest of the house down to get ready for the family. Best part about tomorrow, husband is OFF so I have help!

Is it catching?

I think I caught Emily's insomnia! It is almost 1 am and I am so tired, but WIDE awake. I know I will pay for this tomorrow, gone are the days I could stay up all night and sleep all day. The kids will be up by 7 and we have a million and one things to accomplish, so I wish I could just fall asleep. I am getting quite the headache and just took some meds, so I am hoping that will help lull me into slumber.

Enjoy the bounty

Today is a much nicer day, the sun is shining, the ground is drier, and I am hoping that my plants pull through. Regardless, I will still be putting some additional seed into the ground, it never hurts to be prepared, and a second round of harvest would be a bonus!

Summer CSA began today, and as I expected, we still have a similar type of share as Spring. I love seeing all of the baby greens and we are especially enjoying trying various greens and things such as bok choy. Tonight we are having roasted veggies with orzo, a family favorite that I love as I can switch it up to meet what is fresh and new. Tonight we will have grape tomatoes (somehow I found organic and LOCAL greenhouse grown!!), baby carrots, green beans, onions, whole garlic cloves, radishes, yellow squash and zucchini. We have an abundance of fresh dill, so that will be tossed with the cut veggies and olive oil, and roasted until caramelized and delicious. Tossed with orzo and parm cheese, a healthy family dinner. Some other favorites we use are parsnips, eggplant, mushrooms and asparagus.

Tomorrow will be meatloaf (farm meat), noodle kugel (I have too many eggs!) and greens. Wednesday will be stir fry with the stir fry veggies and bok choy and chicken served with basmati rice. I love having more time at home!!

Smells delicious

I wish I could send everyone a whiff of dinner cooking here. It smells fantastic in my house, the beef is all cooked and shredded and melt in your mouth tender, and the beans are soft, sweet and a little spicy. The recipe I use for my pulled pork seems to work really well with beef too, this will surely become a new family fave.

I decided we needed a little rice to cut all that sweet BBQ, plus the salad for grownups and watermelon for kids. MMMMMMMMMMM!

Busy and rainy

So I haven't gotten as far today as I had hoped. I did shower (I know you were all worried) and made it to the store where I did very, very well considering the price of groceries. Dinner is cooking away, the homemade baked beans smell awesome, and after three more hours of cooking they will be perfect. I think I have enough to pack away in the freezer for another night, if the recipe is a success, I will can a few jars...beans are cheap and my family loves them. The BBQ beef is getting nice and tender, we will eat it on rolls withe the baked beans, salad and watermelon.

I finished the living room and I love it, very peaceful and relaxing. I still need to deal with the kitchen and dining room, but that can be done tomorrow. Tonight I will bake cupcakes so they are ready to frost tomorrow, I will write my paper, do the dishes again, and vacuum again. I need to run one more errand, and switch laundry, but I have enjoyed my relatively quiet day. Having dinner cooking means i avoid the supper rush, always a bonus in my world.

My poor garden is looking so sad. All of the rain has taken it's toll, and even though the sun is supposed to be out tomorrow, it is going to rain again Wednesday. As long as the plants I have left make it through Wednesday, we should be OK, but my poor little tomatoes look so limp, I lost half my beans, snow peas, cucumbers and squash, and all of my butternuts, potatoes and acorn squash. I am not sure what to do when the garden is so waterlogged, if this had happened a month from now, I would have been thrilled, but the plants were so small they have really suffered the lack of sunlight and the over abundance of water. All I can do is wait until the weather improves and go plant more seed to see if I can get new growth.

Off to switch clothes and run errands, hope the kids behave.

8:15 am

OK, so sometimes lack of sleep agrees with me, and sometimes it doesn't. I have been pretty unbearable to be around the last few days, I am even annoying myself, and I am sure a large part of it has to do with lack of decent sleep. Last night I went up to be around 11 which is early for me. Got up there and the litterbox stunk as husband hadn't cleaned it when he was up there. i cleaned the box, vacuumed up all the litter the kittens kicked out, mopped the bathroom floor and cleaned the vanity and mirror. By this point, Grayson was up and SCREAMING. Got him settled and went to go to sleep and the kittens were running wild, which includes attacking me in bed. Finally they settled at about 1:30 am and I think I fell asleep around 2 am. Then Gray was up again, then the cats were up again at 3:30 until almost 5 am. Went back to sleep at 5:30 and Gray got up at 6:30. I put in a show for him and told him to sit on the bed and be quiet, needless to say it didn't happen. This has become a pattern with the kittens and Gray.

I am sitting here and I am so tired it hurts to type. I have a huge list of things to do today and do not have the luxury to put things off. After I finish my first cup of coffee, I need to go finish the living room and then do the dishes. Someone is coming at 11 to take one of the kittens, so I need to shower, then I MUST attack the dining room and kitchen today, plus write a paper and do work, laundry, vacuum, go to the store and make dinner. In all honesty, I actually started dinner already, I am making BBQ beef and baked beans, so the beans need to cook for a really long time (forgot to soak last night) so they are already going. The beef will go in by 11 am so it can cook long and slow. All I should have to do around dinner time is make a salad and serve, which is a good thing as I am pretty sure I won't be able to function.

OK, I must drink coffee and get myself going.

Update on progress

So, the curtains are hemmed and the book case is built. The Living Room is still in a bit of shambles, but tomorrow morning I should be able to get all of that done. Switched laundry, vacuumed the house a few times, put out the new umbrella (need to get the furniture there too), chicken is cooking, grades are posted, shoe bench is sorted, daily work-work is done, dishes are completed and trash is out. I still need to make the sides for dinner, put away winter coats, mop the kitchen and family room floors, switch laundry again, plant the sweet potatoes and finish my paper tonight.

Tomorrow I need to complete the living room and wax the foyer. The dining room needs to be decluttered and scrubbed and I need to clean all the windows on the front of the house and steam clean. Plus I will have 3 or 4 loads of kids clothes to fold and put away. I am really hoping to have the whole downstairs done by the end of the weekend, that just leaves upstairs and general maintenance for the week. Good thing since I have errands to run Monday and Tuesday, need to get flowers, have work, and an interview and have to back cupcakes for Monday and Saturday, and rice krispie treats for Friday for Haven's birthday.

Time to clean

So we are in overhaul mode. I need to get the spring cleaning done, plus my parents arrive on Friday so I want everything done and ready for them. Today the Living Room is FINALLY getting rearranged and the book cases are going up. This will get rid of all of the clutter and also create a more intimate place to talk. I already hung the new curtains, but they are way too long so I am getting ready to hem them. Once that room is done, I will attack the foyer, packing away winter gear and going through shoes and organizing the kid bins. I also want to wax the wood in there, it is looking dull. I need both of these things done by the end of the weekend, along with steam cleaning the living room, upstairs and the playroom. I have to do grading and write a paper today and plan to make a lemon rosemary chicken for supper, plus the sweet potatoes need to be planted and I need to get to that trellis out back. The real question is, should be have roasted potatoes or rice with dinner? Decisions, decisions.

To agree with a wise woman

Mean people do suck.

Here is the thing, I am not sure who decided that it was okay to be as mean, nasty or rude as you want to be, but it is not. We put an ad up on freecycle offering two of the kittens and some jerk sent me an email with two links to get the cat spayed...not one other word, just the two links. I am sorry, but we adopted the cat, she would have been abandoned or worse, and she was already pregnant when we got her (we did not know this). She was spayed yesterday as we DO know how animals get pregnant, just as our dog was spayed as a puppy. The fact that this person assumed that I wanted their two cents or that I was so stupid I couldn't figure out how sex produces kittens just as it does children, amazes me. Needless to say, I sent back an email explaining that we adopted the cat and she was pregnant and just how rude I thought they were. In addition, I made sure to sign with all of my credentials, just to verify that I am not the idiot.

In addition, I am so not thrilled with the tirades of others. Just because you always wanted to hang with the popular kids in high school or the boy you liked didn't ask you to prom or you sat at the outcast table, PLEASE don't make the rest of us pay for it now, and please do not become the parent that tries to create the world you never had for your kid. You look like a fool and your kid will never learn two important lessons, 1 that they are fine the way they are without someone making a path for them and 2 everyone shouldn't do what they want, when they want, because it is really a pain in the ass to have to break that to a 20 year old.

Oh and one more thing, don't ever assume that you know what I mean or I am thinking, take my words for what they are, I don't beat around the bush or try to play nice. If you can't accept it, that is your problem, not mine.

Hurry up and EAT!!!!!

So I picked up our final Spring CSA and the first Summer pick up is Monday, so we need to eat the veggies this weekend. Tonight we will have grilled chicken sandwiches with salad, watermelon and potatoes. For Haven and I, I have some nice sauteed mushrooms for our chicken sandwiches, the rest of the family will probably just eat them straight or with lettuce and tomato. I have a lot of salad greens, good thing we love salad! I also have some beautiful scallions that I may stir fry with some of the veggies I have, maybe as a side for chicken...off to cook :)

Steak and Soccer

Tonight Brittan has a soccer game, but not until 6:45. I fear my kiddos will have a hard time with this since bedtime here begins at 7 and we won't get home until after 8. Thankfully, tomorrow I just need to get the CSA and try to fix the garden before the next set of rain comes in tomorrow. I am hoping that we didn't lose too much, Ryan's strawberries don't seem to be doing too well, a few squash plants are broken and I lost a row of lettuce. Thankfully I can replant the lettuce, we will have to see about the berries.

For dinner we had our first good steaks from the cow, we had already eaten some eye steaks and they were delicious, but tonight the T-Bones and Porterhouse came out. All I did was grill them, no seasoning, so salt and pepper, NOTHING and they were melt in your mouth delicious. Usually I prefer my steaks medium, but due to timing, kids, etc, they were more like medium well tonight and they were still tender and juicy. Em and I are putting in another meat order next week, hopefully we will have delivery mid July. This time we will be getting a half a cow (1/4 per family) and I am so excited to have all of this delicious and healthy food in the house. The last pick up for the Spring CSA is tomorrow, and the summer pick up begins on Monday, so we will be full of veggies.

There are always moments

I am sure people who do not have children, or who hear those of us with children complain, wonder why it is all worth it. Why we have more than one child and why we do what we do everyday. We do it for the moments, the light beams of happiness and joy, the funny little things that kids say and do, and those moments make the rough days not seem so bad.

A few highlights of my week.....

Grayson telling me that something was humonormous-a combination of humongous and enormous. Funniest said with a three year old's lispy language.

Haven telling me that "Someone must have had a cocktail" when I told her that someone said something that made me feel like a bad mom.

Brittan dancing a crazy little jig when she was excited about reading a word, the kid is all skinny arms and legs and it was hysterical to see her dancing like that.

Throw in the million I love yous and bear hugs, my son saying he saved me all his pink kisses (he thinks I love the color pink) and a few key moments of Haven and Brittan helping each other and their brother, and those terrible rotten days seem like the distant past.

We are still hoping to have one more child join us, maybe sooner rather than later, I guess time will tell. My kids were asked about the decision before Ryan and I reached a conclusion, and their sheer excitement about another sibling was astounding. While they might argue and fight, they also are the first to defend a sibling and the way they all help one another shows their deep love for one another. They can make me crazy, they have even made me cry, but when the day is done, I can forgive the sassiness (all of them have a tendency towards that) and the mistakes they make, and try to find the good moments to cherish. It is true, they grow up too fast and I hope that we can shelter and protect them as long as possible, I am not ready to share them with the world just yet...they need some refining :)

Standards

I think everyone has standards for their life, what they like, don't like and what they feel they can accomplish. Some think I set my bar very high, even Em and my mom will comment on it, and while that may be true to some, to me, this is just my personal standard for myself (and no Em I am not offended by the comments, I know you love me as I am, my mom, well....).

I have also been "accused" of having high expectations of others, most often morally. I admit that this is true, and I make no apologies for expecting people to make the best moral choice possible. I do not, however, expect anyone else to live their life in the same way I have chosen to live mine. My husband is a sitter and a relaxer, and there are a lot of days when my anxious energy has me pacing about stressed about what to do while he relaxes, and I wish I could do the same. I force myself to take one night off and to sit an watch a show with him, no computer, no reading a book while watching, and that is hard for me.

I also know that I am very happy living the way I do, it doesn't cause me nearly the same amount of stress that it causes others, although I do have rough days. The world needs all types of people, with different personal standards. I know that my husband's personality and mine make for a (more) balanced home life for the kids. So live and let live!

School's out

So schools are closed today I am guessing due to flooding. The rain that was supposed to pass last night just keeps coming and we are getting ready to build the ark!

Thankfully, my dear husband went out last night in the torrential rain to dig a trench around the house and used cinder blocks and bricks to divert the rain water away from the house. He also ripped the edging out of the side flower bed in the back to help drain water off of the patio. Next time I am mad at him, I have to remember he was out there digging in the rain to protect the house from flooding...good guy.

Now we just need to live through the day. My kids were home Friday since they were up all night during the Tornado Warnings and the flood, and now school is closed. What a bad weekend!

Fear and Loathing in Virginia

As many of you know, being a grownup realy stinks sometimes. Everywhere I look, I see things that frighten me, gas prices, employment problems, housing and the economy as a whole. Right now I wish I was still a kid, that I didn't have to be the one who worries.

That being said, I also know that I am lucky enough to be pretty secure. I have a good FT job, not to mention the steady PT gig. I have a PT tutoring gig on the back burner as I have an interview for another PT gig which is more up my alley and in my area of expertise. Ryan's company is so sorely understaffed, he could dance naked on the tables singing and still not lose his job. Even so I am worried, mostly because I feel trapped. I always felt like we could move if anything happened, we could always sell the house and be okay. Right now that isn't an option, and it makes me fearful. I know it will get better, I know that things will improve. I also know that we weren't planning on going anywhere for at least two or three years, and I am hoping we can just regain half of the value we had a year ago.

Sometimes being a grownup just sucks.

MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOOOOP

This rain must end. Looks like the wood floors in the family room are damaged from the flood, but not so badly that we need to rip them out today. I am still hoping that once they dry out that we can get them to last another year or two.

Right now the water is lapping at my back door, and we were just issued another severe flood alert, for here, in JUST our county. I swear I have never seen the name of my county on the news so much, were are usually just a small speck between two other areas.

Please someone, make it stop!

Gearing up for a busy day and week

This is my last week at PT school, but I still have a hectic week ahead. Today I need to focus on folding laundry and pushing through more loads. In addition, I have session end course checks for FT school plus my own final grades for them. The family room rug is still damp and we are expecting a ton more rain tonight. I am hoping we don't flood again!



Dinner will be chicken and dumplings with salad, I think we need the comfort of good warm food in our bellies before heading into a busy week. Tomorrow I need to see Dr. Tom and I need to get snack for the brownies. I work tomorrow night, last class and they take their final. Grades for that exam are due by 10 pm on Tuesday, so I will be grading all day Tuesday off and on-Em you may have to drive to the farm :) Thankfully, there is no soccer practice Tuesday, so I can concentrate on the papers I need to write and grading. Wednesday will be a welcome relief, no class, but Brittan has a soccer game and I have a conference call, all at the same time. We are in charge of snack, so I will pack it up and send Ryan and the kids off to the game so I can run my call from home. After that, just household stuff to do. I think next week i will start to paint my bathroom, I hate that room and have been waiting until we did the rest of the house before attacking it. This summer I also hope to paint the kitchen, both the walls and the cabinets, just to update the room a bit.



Well, I better get going. Fingers crossed that we don't flood again and that my garden makes it through!

Early Mother's Day

So we celebrated Mother's Day a bot early. The kids were supposed to have activities today (brownies and soccer) and thankfully both were cancelled so I didn't have to feel guilty about keeping them home.

They let me sleep in, and Ryan made me breakfast in bed...such a TREAT!!!! The kids gave me the presents they made at school and Ryan had bought a HUGE pot for the kids to decorate for me. The weather has been bad, so that will wait for a sunny day :) He also got a huge pot of Gerber daisies for me, all in shades of pink, which are my favorites. We will plant some pansies around the edge of the big pot once decorated and put the daisies in the middle and it will help fill the yucky space in front of the garage.

Ryan has had to go to bed since he works tonight, and cooking away on the stove is homemade tomato sauce (I cannot wait for our OWN tomatoes) and I am going to make meatballs and fresh pasta. Along with this we will have a big salad, a staple in late spring and summer around here. The best part of the CSA and our garden is, we are never at a loss for greens!

Husband kudos

So I am known to complain about the husband. Anyone who knows us knows we are not the world's best match. Different interests, different life choices, and both stubborn as hell. While he can make me crazy for days on end, I do love him and even though I won't admit it when mad, I know he loves me too. The life we have built is a good one, and while I want him to be more involved and more responsible, that just is not who I married. There are lots of times I am so grateful for him, and they out weigh the days I want to throw him off a bridge :)

Garden Update

Well yesterday I was thrilled to see some potatoes coming up, along with pumpkins, acorn squash and butternut squash. As that garden was a trial, I was so happy to see things growing. After the flooding and storms last night, it looks as though the potatoes may have washed out, I am going to give it a few days to see if I see any new growth, and then I will replant. The other plants in that garden look fine, and when we dry out a bit I need to go clear the debris and leaves.

The big garden is also doing well. My newly sown beans are coming up, so is the lettuce and the carrots. Some of my plants took a beating last night, the cukes and some yellow squash plants looked a bit ripped up, probably from hail. I think they will come back okay, the plants are fairly young and should perk up in the next few days.

Tornados and floods

Last night made for an interesting one around here. I knew we were set for some rainy weather, and then around 9 pm we went under a Tornado Watch. No biggie, that happens around here, and since Ryan was running out for a few things I asked him to get a much needed weather radio.

As we got into 10 o'clock, we went under a Severe Thunderstorm Warning, in my world when that happens, that means the kids have to come downstairs. The main reason for this is we have a lot of very large, very old trees around our house, including one just behind the house up on the hill that would completely crush the house if it came down. Soon after the kids came down, we got the first Tornado Warning. Kids got to the back hallway in the house, and if need be, they move into our tiny little downstairs bathroom. It seems that there was a tornado from this storm just south of us, so I am glad we kept safe.

We made it through that warning and then the flood came, into my family room. Seems the rain came so fast it backed debris up at the fence gates. We are downhill from everyone else, so we get all of their runoff, so the water came flooding into my family room. Ryan ran to open the gate and in the process one side tore completely off. The water drained from the yard, and Ryan and I began to clean up the water and mud that had come into the house. Thankfully we got it all cleaned, although it took a few hours, and we were under another Tornado Warning during the process. The kids are home today since they spent most of the night sitting in the hallway, and we are all very tired, but OK.

Dinner tastiness

Tonight for dinner we are having stuffed chicken breasts, and the family is quite excited. I sauteed up some fresh greens from the CSA with some of their green garlic. We added feta cheese and stuffed into split chicken breasts which were drizzled with olive oil, sea salt and garlic. On the side will be jasmine rice and a mixed baby green salad from the CSA. We eat well here!

It's not easy being green!

I was very pleased to see information on educating the public on green growing techniques included in my weekly CSA newsletter. The farmer we get our produce from uses organic techniques, and as he explained, he was unhappy that a big home improvement chain was running advertising on having a green home and included a product by Bayer Inc. The product, which is in granule form, is still a toxic insecticide, only it is not a spray on product. The problem with this ad is that it perpetuates the concept that organic gardeners do not use spray on or other types of pesticide and that items that do not get sprayed on the plants are organic.

For clarification, organic farmers use insecticides which are approved by OMRI (Organic Materials Review Institute) and are derived from natural sources. Many of these are sprayed onto plants, but their purpose is to only kill harmful pests and to biodegrade efficiently and not kill off positive insects. The Bayer product, while not a spray on, is NOT organic, nor is it a safe product to consume. Please understand that organic is not about if food is sprayed, but what it is sprayed with.

Right now one of the main areas of research I am focusing on involves misleading green marketing. For example, Clorox sells their new Greenworks product as earth friendly, but what do we know about the production and waste products being produced? While the product itself may be "green" and within a consumer's home be a safe choice, consumers should also be aware of the consequences of producing the product. If the environmental cost to manufacture, produce and distribute the product is higher than the benefit of consumer use, how is this environmentally friendly?

I am hopeful that in the coming years there is legislation that requires a label to alert consumers as to how green a product is from start to finish. Many of the big corporations who are jumping on the green bandwagon would quickly fall off, and many of the small companies who are truly working to be environmentally friendly would see the success they deserve.

You all have to see this!!!

So I can't sleep, big surprise, I never sleep :)

So I am looking at what is on TV and come across a show called My Big Redneck Wedding on CMT. EVERYONE has to watch this show, it actually has be laughing, hard, out loud. I have the next four episodes set to tape so I can share this wonderful creation with everyone I meet.

Wednesdays are done!!

So almost all of the finals are graded for my Weds class, that only leaves Monday!!!

Tomorrow I will post grades, pick up the CSA and hopefully fold lots and lots of laundry. I need to find something to make for dinner, maybe stuffed chicken breasts? I am anxious to see what is in the CSA.

Need to breathe

So, if you get anything about me from this blog, you see I am a bit busy. I am just one of those people who needs to be crazy busy or I don't know what to do with myself. One nasty side effect of this is that I concentrate so much on task, that I pack other things away inside. One nice friend told me I compartmentalize my feelings, that even if my husband is being a hurtful jerk, I can put that in a little box and still get on with my day. I know this about myself, and I also know what happens when I have too many little boxes stacked up, I need to let everything out. One way I used to do that was I would draw or paint, in fact, it seems odd to me NOT to paint and draw. I wasn't in it for the end result, but for the process. I would blast music and get all of that emotion out, and I have to say that I have gotten through many tough and trying times this way.

Since having kids I stopped drawing and painting. I made a few futile efforts, but I never seemed to be able to find that place I needed, or the time, especially when the kids were really little. Husband suggested a few times that I set up in the garage, but it is messy and cluttered in there (his domain, not mine, hence the mess) and there are bugs and dust and dirt and it just seemed like it would cause more stress. I am getting ready to move my old table/desk out of the living room and put up bookcases. When I do, there should be room for me to put down a small tarp and set up an easel. While I can't blast music at night when the kids are sleeping, I can stick my ipod in my ears and turn the music up. I have such a horrible itch to get a brush in my hands, I have so much frustration and anger that has built up for years. I have sadness and joy and a range of emotions that I can't even comprehend. I hope that I can get this small area set up and that I can find clarity again.

Stupidgirl

So there is a blog my friend and I read (no one we know personally) and we have dubbed this woman "Stupidgirl" The main reason for the name is that I have never in my life seen someone whine so much about things she chose to do.

This woman is older than I am, educated, single, owns a home, and just bitches and complains about how hard her life is. Here's the thing, I have more going on in my life and I don't think it is so hard. Hard is not having enough money to feed your kids and pay the rent. Hard is having a chronically ill child and no insurance to pay for meds and care. Hard is having no education or skills and being trapped in an abusive relationship. These scenarios are real for many people, and while we can sit on our high horses and say that they could have gone to school, made different choices, etc., we must also know that the choices we have made dictate our lives.

I have challenging days, and yes sometimes they are strung together. My kids make me angry and the husband makes me livid, but day in and day out, my life is pretty damn good. I have choices, lots of choices, and that is not a luxury available to the masses.

So Stupidgirl, quit your whining, get out of the house and find some way to give back, maybe then you will see how good you have it.

Not to be an alarmist..

but does anyone feel like everything is going to hell in a handbasket?

Between the economy and talks of pandemic outbreaks, I am a bit on edge. It could be my natural tendency to worry (I did freak out at age 6, convinced that my parents would die in a car wreck...REALLY convinced) or it could the media is breaking me down, or it can be that my college boyfriend was smart to live with one foot into paranoia.

So, I plan to make sure we are ready, just....in....case.

We all know I am going to be a canning freak, and that I live most of my life stockpiling things (food, paper towels, etc) the mud room. Usually this is because I am cheap, um, frugal, but now I think I will add things like batteries (which I never have) and other necessities to my group.

So if we were hit with a big pandemic, I figure Em and her kids could just move into my house with me and my stores, and that my PT job would be closed down because who would keep a college campus open in a pandemic? My other job is virtual, so the kids and Em and I could stay completely inside if needed, although we might go crazy, and not have to go to germy schools or stores.

The husbands would have to go to work, so they could stay at Emily's house and that will minimize the risk to us and the kids. Hell, we can stay holed up in that house for at least six months the way I have it, we may not have fresh fruits and veggies, but we will still have food and all of things needed. Well I guess the husbands could leave needed items outside the door and after an appropriate time, they could be moved into quarantine (the food, not the husbands, they can't come in at all)

OK, on to the escape route......

What have you been up to?

Well let me share my day so far.

We got up at 6 am thanks to Grayson, and we were early to drop the girls off at school. Britt went prepared for her Cinco de Mayo party with a sombrero and maracas!

Gray and I hightailed it to see Dr. Tom, then to the store to get stuff for snack for the girl scouts. I have to say, I can really see the increase in food prices, it was crazy how little I got for my money!

We came home and I worked on the gazillion course checks I had to do, I answered emails and with about 10 course checks left, I decided I had to get out of the house again. As it was Cinco de Mayo, I decided Grayson and I needed to be festive and eat Mexican, and Em and the girls joined me :)

After lunch, Gray went to play at Em's, I stopped and grabbed a few things at another store, came home and finished the dreaded course checks, got the snack together for the girls scouts, vacuumed, straightened up, switched laundry and did the dishes. Now all I have left is to make dinner and go to work. On the bright side, this is my second to last Monday night class this session, and this Wednesday is my last Weds class this session. Then I am on summer break, well at least from PT school :)

Dinner plans

On the agenda tonight for supper is Grilled Chicken Alfredo. The family loves Alfredo, and I don't make it often as it is quite bad for them, but I decided I would make it tonight. I already made the homemade fettuccine, and I have to say that aside from having to clean up the flour, it is so easy to make and tastes so much better. My recipe(and you will see it is simple) is below.

Fresh Pasta
2 cups flour (or11/2 cups white flour, 1/2 cup wheat flour)
2 beaten eggs (farm fresh of course!)
1Tbls olive oil
teaspoon of salt
water as needed
chopped herbs of choice(basil, oregano, thyme all work well..very well grated garlic does too)

Mix flour and salt in a bowl, make a well and add eggs and oil to center.Mix together with a fork and add water as needed to get a dough ball. Turn onto floured surface and knead herbs in, use flour as needed to make a smooth dough. Let rest 10 minutes. I then cut off 1 x 3 inch chunks that I pass through the pasta machine on setting one. Once all the dough has been put through, stack two or three strips and pass through again at stage one, folding over on it self and putting through two or three times. I then usually have three or four big strips. Cut each strip in half and pass through the pasta machine up to setting 5 and then cut into fettuccine. Boil and you are done :)

Adventures in Canning

This year is the first time I will be really trying to preserve as much food as possible for winter. With rising food costs, the damage that importing food does to our environment and the effect that corporate farms have on local farmers, we will be growing as much as we can, plus we will be getting produce from the CSA and other local farmers.

In preparing for canning, the first will be the strawberries we will pick for Haven's birthday, I need to get the supplies together. I have a canning pot, but need more jars and all of the other bits and pieces, so I am considering just ordering another full set up so I can run two pots at once. My plan is to use one pot for sterilizing, the other for canning. In the summer, I hope to dedicate one day per week to canning, hopefully processing two or three different items that day. For example, if I am doing tomatoes, I will do sauce, stewed tomatoes and paste all on one day. This will be quite the adventure, and I need to get on Ryan to add more shelves for storage. I am hoping to get us through most of the winter, although we will also plan to cold frame the lower tier of the garden to grow root veggies and greens, and if I have my way, we will have tomatoes and green beans growing under a light in the garage.

Start the day off right

So after a rude awakening by my children before 7:30 (note to self, explain to kids that I am not getting out of bed before 8 in summer) I came down and made them breakfast. It is now 8:30 and Haven and I will be heading out to finish the trellises and water the gardens. I am anxious to see real growth, within a few weeks we should have some solid plants and be able to see what will and what will not grow. Fingers crossed!

Mother's Day Muck

So my husband works the night before Mother's Day and on Mother's Day as well. So I ask him if we are doing anything and his response is that he suggested something (that was celebrating the week after?) and I shot it down. He then said that I should help him think of something...FOR REAL?????

I am sorry, but it is not my job to come up with a plan to celebrate Mother's Day, for god's sake I plan everything else (usually my birthday as well) can't he plan ONE THING...especially as a way to celebrate all I do???? I am so mad right now, put in on the list of one more time that he shoves crap off on me and doesn't appreciate anything I do.

A note about dinner

Getting dinner on the table with three clamoring kids is an ordeal. Those of you with kids can relate. When they are still too young to get their own food, and they still need you to cut up their meat, dinner is a bit of a pain. For example, tonight we ended up having London Broil, sauteed potatoes and onions and coleslaw. I started dinner at 2:30 by shredding the cabbage and making the coleslaw so it had time to sit in the fridge. At 3:30 I made the marinade for the meat (garlic, herbs, balsamic vinegar and oil) and got the meat marinating. At 4 pm I diced the potatoes and started them boiling. From that point on I had to drain the potatoes and saute some onions, then added potatoes and herbs and crisped them up. Grilled the steak and let it rest. When it came time to serve at 5:30 I still needed to set the table and make the kid plates, and after dinner I cleaned up, did the dishes, vacuumed and wiped the table. And that was just dinner :)

Feel the momentum!

God I love this weather, I think it is the first true spring we have had since we moved here 9 years ago. The sun is shining, windows are open, and I feel hopeful that the many tasks that need to happen, will.

Britt had a soccer game this morning, and she did really well, although I would like to see her a bit more aggressive. Afterwards, we ran to the store for a few things, and then home to put them away :) Ryan stakes the tomatoes and beans today, and I will net them this evening or in he morning. Laundry needs to be switched, the house needs another vacuum and I need to do some work. Dinner tonight will be the London Broil I didn't make last night, some jasmine rice and homemade coleslaw.

Off to enjoy the beautiful day!

Another busy day

It must be spring since I can't stop moving. Today I got the girls off to school and then Emily and Maggie came by. We visited for a bit while Ryan put the new light up in the foyer (hurray) and then we sent Emily home to get dressed and kept Maggie to play. I did the dishes, laundry, vacuumed, steam cleaned and generally straightened up. Em brought back lunch and Killi and we weeded the front flower beds and I planted the herb seeds. Vacuumed and did the dishes again, made the kids sugar cookies, grabbed our three kids and two neighbor kids off the bus and had a nice afternoon. Everyone left and my family and I attacked the absolutely disgusting, horrific playroom which has been long overdue for an overhaul. A few hours and one dinner break later, I headed to Goodwill with 6 bags of toys and now am enjoying knowing that the playroom is spic and span!

Tomorrow Britt has a soccer game, and I might leave Ryan and the other kids home to trellis the garden and do a few other things.

I love being productive in spring!

Long and frustrating

I had a really long day. Girls got ready for school, took them and walked in the door to the house where Grayson had just peed all over the bathroom. Cleaned that mess up while husband watched, did some work, loaded the dishwasher, vacuumed and then took Gray with me to pick up the CSA stuff. Left the house angry with husband because he wasn't helping out. Came home and dropped Gray and the CSA stuff off (husband had done 1 thing) and went back out to get groceries. Did very well at the grocery store, which made me happy given how hard it is to feed a family of five good, healthy food. Brought groceries home, got dressed for interview and got ready to go. Went to interview, which was more of a "tell us when you want to start/be put on the schedule" filled out forms and realized my license was at home. Hightailed it home, got license and went back so tutoring place could make a copy. Went to target and bought a million boxes of cereal, paper towels, etc (and again did really well cost wise) and came back home. Started the roast chicken for dinner, vacuumed the house, straightened up the kitchen, worked, cleaned all of the greens from the CSA, made stuffing and corn muffins and dealt with a few work issues. It is now 5:40 and I know I still have work ahead of me, which makes me mad since I always try to keep Thursdays as quiet nights. Tomorrow I need to get into my garden and make sure the peas are growing well. I also need to go get 1 x 2s to make the trellis for the pole beans, and I need to get cages for my tomatoes and new herb seeds (which I will plant tomorrow)

I am just tired of working so hard everyday, while husband barely does anything. The one thing I can say about myself is that I am one hard worker, and I will do anything I need to to help my family. Since the inception of this family, I have worked many, many jobs. I have given up on being home with my kids at times to earn a living. I have worked multiple jobs, sacrificed all I could and kept pushing through school, just to make a life for them. As I near the end of school, only a year left on classes plus a year of dissertation, I wonder how I will view things. Will I want to stay in a marriage where I have been busting my ass for 10 years? Will I need to keep working as hard as I do? I guess time will tell.

I can feel my summer mood coming on!

Today I gave part of a final exam, I have only two more Mondays and one more Wednesday until summer break starts. I love the month I am off before the kids are, I can get lots of jobs around the house done, the weather is great, and it stays light later. I always feel like I have more time when it is light at 9 o'clock, and I actually enjoy working after the kids are in bed and the sun is still up! The first thing on my list is to get the book cases into the living room and get that place in order.

After class, I came home to a robust group of kids. Emily was kind enough to watch Grayson today, and soon after I got home, the three school kids came home as well. For having six kids in the house, they were pretty good and not as loud as usual :) We ordered some pizzas for dinner, fed the kids and then Em had to take Declan to soccer and Haven went along. The other four kids split up amongst two rooms and two movies. The babies got bored and came down, we rough housed a bit and I am sure they will both sleep well tonight. It was actually quite peaceful with the four of them, they just hung out and played, not one single fight took place!

It was a really nice day, and all of my work is done, so I can relax and enjoy my evening.

Quiet

I haven't posted since Sunday, big break :O

So I am settling down at PT school, just finals left so that is a huge relief. FT school got a bit busy as the other FT person in my department is heading out on a leave of absence., no biggie though, I worked alone in the department for a long time, so just a little extra on my plate. I also have an interview on Thursday for a PT tutoring gig, should be enough to help out during summer, and not too many hours a week, so I can still hang with the kiddos.

I absolutely cannot wait until the beach trip at the end of June. A week at the beach with the Fallon's and the kids, what could be better...maybe a week without the kids ;)

The nasty economy

I try not to talk about it too much here, but the housing market and the economy are really causing me stress. Our original plans were to move in the next two or three years, but with the way things look, we will be lucky if our house is worth what we owe on it then. Right now, my house value has decreased almost 20K in the last year, and it went down another 30K in the previous year. From it's highest value (which was too inflated) the value is now 100K less. That is crazy, we have owned the house for 4 1/2 years and have sunk a ton of money into it. It scares the crap out of me that the market and economy are so unstable. For the most part, my industry (higher ed) is stable and often sees growth during poor economic times, my husband's industry (IT) does not. If he lost his job, we could not survive, and we couldn't sell our house for anything worthwhile either. THAT is scary.

So now, what does one do about it? Well, we are trying as hard as possible to cut back on expenses. Usually this is pretty easy in summer, less is spent on gas, extras etc. I am hoping that I can pick up another part time job, that will offset the loss of my PT wages during summer and will pay down debt during the rest of the year. As long as I can work PT, I can handle another job, and I want to pack away as much extra cash as possible while paying down debt.

Maybe, just maybe, we will see an end to this soon, although I am not hopeful.

Sweet memories

I was watching a show on diners today and one that was featured was Ed Debevics. This brought back memories of going to the Ed Debevics that was located in the village back in high school. I remember going there after the AIDS Walk, we got soaked to the bone and had to buy clothes, then we went and ate lunch at Ed Debevics. It was always fun to sit there and be harassed, the memories I have of going into the city as a teenager are ones that I wouldn't trade for anything. Back then the world was so new and fresh, and exploring who we were as people, our likes and dislikes, and trying new things always made the trips exciting. My friends from them, some of which I am fortunate enough to still have a relationship with, are so important to me. I became defined in those years, I learned more about who I was, and who I wanted to be through our adventures. Through the years, and relationships, college, jobs, kids, and what not, I can still see my friends as they were then, and I love that they still exist, and that they still let me hang around.

There were years when I first became a mom that I lost myself. I wanted to fit the mold of the other moms, perfect house, perfect kids, perfect everything. Well by nature I am not perfect, let's face it, I am more of a mess than I am together, although I do put up a nice front. I gave up on what I loved and tried to be someone I wasn't, and it was a sad and lonely time for me. Now I know who I am, and I am the happiest I have been in years living the way I do. I have let my hippie back out, and every day I strive to simplify our lives and our environmental impact. I know that the changes I am making will positively impact my family and cannot wait until we can move to more land. It is so rewarding to be yourself, more people should try it :)

How to stop the preteen train

So Brittan had a soccer game this morning, and we all got ready to go. I packed snack for the kids, drinks, etc so that Haven and Gray would have something while Brittan played (she gets snack at halftime and the end). We got there and my family wanted to sit far away from the field in the shade, I moved them to direct sunlight right along side the field, we were there to cheer after all.

Haven and Grayson went to play on the playground, and she comes back screaming and crying that Grayson hit her with a stick. I come to find out that he DID hit her with a stick, AFTER she tormented him, teased him and yelled at him. She then proceeded to throw a two year old tantrum, unpleasant with an almost 8 year old, and Ryan ended up dragging her off to the car. Her behaviour is terrible, and we are trying to get her under control before she hits her teen years. Anyone have advice? She is a strong willed, dramatic, over the top girl..HELP!

Under the weather, loving the weather

So I am feeling a little under the weather today, so much so that I actually went back to bed from 11 am-1pm, which is very unlike me. Prior to heading back to bed, I did clean up the house a bit, switch laundry, and get the bottom tier of the garden planted (Ryan did help me out at the end as I was really starting to feel ill...any zucchini we get is thanks to him!)

I went to bed and felt a bit better after my rest, came down and vacuumed, did the dishes, drank some tea and folded a few baskets of clothes. Dinner tonight was eye steaks (I am still amazed at how delicious the meat is!) sauteed potatoes and onions, jasmine rice (for Ry and Gray) wilted greens and salad, such a feast! All of it was so delicious, and I love that we are back into grilling and fresh veg season.

After dinner, the kids and Ryan took a walk, and I made them some pudding for dessert, and everyone has had a fun and relaxing afternoon and evening. Soon the kids will head to bed, I will settle onto the couch with tea or coffee and maybe a book, and a glorious breeze will blow through the open doors and windows. You have to love this time of year, everything is green and growing, the garden is full of summer harvest potential and the air is fresh. Perfect.

Anyone can cook!

So, I really don't understand when people say they can't cook. You throw stuff together and get a meal, and for me it never seems stressful or hard, even when cooking from scratch.

Tonight I planned to make chicken and dumplings as I had some nice leftover roast chicken and I had the drippings from that chicken as well. So I diced half an onion and chopped a few carrots and threw them in a pot with the drippings. Cooked them until tender, added the diced leftover chicken, some flour, salt, pepper and fresh sage. Added some water to top the pot and left everything to cook for about half an hour. Came back and everything was bubbly, so threw in about half a cup of half and half and some peas, mixed the dumplings (flour, milk, parsley, salt, pepper and baking powder) and added them to the pot. I ended up with too many dumplings, so they couldn't spread out, so I threw the pot into the oven and the dumplings cooked to a lovely crunch on top, and the soft and tender dumplings on the bottom. Simple, delicious and all made from scratch.

Productive day

So we got up and got the girls to school, although I had a bad night and was a bit crabby, the morning went off without a hitch. Came home and did a few chores. Ry went back to bed since he was really tired, and then Gray and I went out. Dropped off some clothes at Goodwill then we were off to pick up the CSA stuff. Another great haul, I cannot tell you how thrilled I have been with the amount of produce and the quality is amazing. I wasn't expecting much out of the Spring CSA, so I am looking forward to seeing what comes in the Summer!

I got the top tier of the big garden planted, the snow peas are looking great, the pole beans didn't start as well as I wanted in the peat pots, so I directly sowed a bunch more. The carrots and all three types of lettuce are in the ground. Tomorrow the tomatoes, cukes, zucchinis and eggplants will go in the ground. When that is done, everything will be planted, and I am so excited and relieved!

We have meat!!!

Emily and I went and picked up our beef order today. It looks great, except we did opt for A LOT of ground beef, so next time we will not ask for so much! Looking at what we have, we will be placing another order in the next few weeks. It takes awhile to get the meat in, almost two months, so we want to plan ahead. Next in line is finding a pig, mmm bacon, sausage, ribs and ham!

On the agenda for today, I need to go teach and then home to make burgers!!

What does the future hold?

These last few weeks I have been antsy, maybe it is the spring weather, maybe it is the sheer abundance that needs to be done daily, but I want a slower lifestyle. Ryan and I have always agreed that the plan is to move to a nice piece of land. He is OK with it ending there, us living on our land (hopefully near a reasonable city) and planting a garden and some flowers. I, on the other hand, want a small farm. I would love raise chickens, pigs, goats and horses. I am fine with the circle of life and having an area where the broilers live (so we don't get attached) and then have our laying hens that we treat as pets. I have no issues with raising some pigs and sending some of them off to the butcher as needed. I want an apple and pear orchard, a huge berry patch and large garden. I would be content sitting at the farmers market in the summer and learning to make yogurt and cheese. The simple life is something I feel I need. I am so high stress, that it is easy for me to overload myself, and slowing down would be good for my soul and my health.

We talked about it tonight, and Ryan is OK with moving to the land and letting me have my mini farm. He does not want to head south, but he is OK with heading north, maybe into upstate NY. If the housing market recovers in the next few years, we will try to get him a job up there since my FT gig is from home and I can move with it. It would be awesome to have only one job, and for us to have more time together as a family. It is my dream, and while it seems so far away and unattainable, maybe we will get lucky.

A well deserved quiet day

It is still rainy and gloomy today, but that is OK as I plan to hang about in my pajamas. With the nasty weather, I am sure there will be no soccer, so I have no need to leave the house. My classes are on break, PT school is all caught up so all I have to do is basic things for FT school. Dinner will be a delicious pork roast and all the fixin's, there is nothing better than cooking up a storm on a cold and rainy day. I plan to rest and do a little housework, and that is about it. Since I am still feeling yucky, I feel the day off will be good for me, and I know Gray could stand to enjoy the quiet today too.

Tomorrow we have to pick up our meat order (hooray!) and then I have to teach. Thursday I am planting the seedlings in the main garden. Looks as though the trellis isn't going up this year, so I need to go and get some tomato cages. I am so excited to get the plants into the ground, and even more excited to see the fruits of our labor!

Once everything is planted, I will post some pictures.

A long day, and a long night

My day has been long and tiring, and I still need to go to teach class.

We got up very early, got the girls off, then Gray and I came home to clean up. I baked muffins for the girl scouts and did my course checks which took forever. Dealt with a rude student, cleaned up a bit then went to lunch. Came home and did the dishes and some other tasks, finished grading papers, inputted grades and got dinner going. Class tonight will be long, and I really am not feeling well, so I am happy that tomorrow I don't have to leave the house. I am staying in my PJ's all day and trying to relax. We will see how it goes :)

Planning for summer eat local challenge

It is always fun to try a challenge, and this year we will be trying the Eat Local challenge. While cooking up dinner tonight, I realized that almost everything included will be local this summer. We had a simple supper of potato pancakes, and this summer the potatoes and carrots will be grown in our yard, the eggs come from the CSA or farm, and I serve it with my own homemade apple butter made from local apples. The only non-local ingredients are the salt and the flour, and I am on the lookout for local flour :) Anyone know where I can get some that is grown and milled in VA?

Rain and more rain, but the plants will grow

Our beautiful weather has left, no more sun or warmth, not even a trace of it.

Today is gray and rainy, and being that I already feel sick, I am not thrilled. Looks as though tomorrow will be more of the same, and it may spread into Wednesday....yuck :(

On a bright note, our meat order comes in on Wednesday. Poor Emily has to go get it since I have class, and she gets to take Ryan and Grayson along..poor poor Em. We got the freezer all defrosted this weekend, so we are ready for the beef to come, and we have plenty of room to store some of Emily's as well! I am so excited that 1. we have really healthy, tasty fresh beef and 2. I won't have to buy beef during the summer when are bank accounts are lean :)

Now I just need to bulk up the chicken supply, and I will make a run to Costco to buy 10 whole chickens and at least 25 lbs of chicken breasts and 10 lbs of legs and thighs to get through the summer. My goal is to only have to buy milk, cheese, the occasional bread, and a few other small items through summer. The CSA and our garden should keep us in fresh veggies and the small berry patch will give us enough for eating this year (and more than enough for canning and freezing next year!) We will pick strawberries for Mother's Day and will get at least 3 if not 5 flats of berries. This year I will can the jam rather than make freezer jam and I plan to bake bread in pots at Christmas time and give it as gifts with the jam, yummy!

I am itching for fresh foods. If my plan works, I should be able to skate by on under $100 a week during the summer for food, some weeks may be as low as $50, not too shabby for a family of 5!

When will housing stop dropping?

The housing crisis is really screwing with our plans. We have been fixing our house up, redoing bathrooms, kitchens, etc, all as we planned to move when I was done with school. With housing the way it is, it is looking unlikely that we will have the option to move out of our house in the next three years. This puts a lot of pressure on me to find a full time, onground, teaching position here that pays enough for me to pay back loans and us stay in this house. This also means that we would be here much longer than anticipated, as we wouldn't move if I secured a job. The scenario now is that I will do my best to find a job here and if I do, we will find a new house with more land in the area here. That will be a tough feat since most of the houses on land here are ridiculous in price.

Feel like hell

I just feel like crap. I guess I got the kid's cold, but man, I feel crappy. Congested, sore and tired. The cat also has a belly ache, so that means a trip to the vet tomorrow, with three kids in tow. Yippee.

I still need to go grade papers and get my butt to bed. The kids will be up early and they don't care how I feel. Tomorrow I need to grade the papers I don't get to tonight, fold clothes, clean the house, take the cat to the vet and go to swimming for two hours. Fun, fun, fun!

Oh it makes me so mad!!!!!!!

So I just watched a video on how to save money at the grocery store. The clip was from ABC News, and they missed a big opportunity to talk about buying local, but of course, they didn't. They explained that grocery prices had gone up 17% in a year and then went to the store to point out that sausage costs more than bacon and skim milk less than 2% (are we happy about that?). They then said that you should buy fruit in season, and very briefly mentioned fuel costs affecting overall prices.

YES we need to buy in season...if we all bought in season think of the impact it would have. We also need to buy LOCALLY. Prices are not as affected when a product only travels a short distance. I know the beef we are getting costs me way less than the cheapest supermarket beef when you average the prime cuts with the ground. That is because the beef is from Maryland, and the travel time is minimal, and the increased cost to the farmer is small, so he can keep prices lower. We pay more for milk than at the grocery store. Last I checked, a gallon of 2 %milk at the grocery store ran us just over $4, and I pay $3.60 for a half gallon. I am fine with paying the extra, my kids drink less of the farm milk as it is quite rich, and I am not getting all of the hormones and antibiotics, which is worth every cent! I also enjoy recycling the milk bottles, and I am content to pay more for milk for less trash being produced. Right now, I get my eggs from two different farms, one costs me $1.50 a dozen for free range brown eggs (find them in the store for that) and the other comes as part of the CSA costing me about $3 a dozen, again, cheaper than the good eggs at the store. My CSA haul last week cost me about $23 and I got a nice jar of local honey, eggs, broccoli rabe, green garlic, radishes, salad greens, and herbs, and if I had bought all of that at the store, it would have run me at least $35. Oh why can't everyone get that it only takes a few more minutes, and the payoff is huge for everyone?

So tired, and the day won't end

So, we got the back garden almost ready to go. A few more bags of manure and soil, a few more runs of the tiller, and we are up and running. It is such a relief to know that we are almost ready to finish the planting. Once the garden is planted, I can move on to other tasks that have been on hold. This summer I need to get the bookcases up in the living room, the garage needs an overhaul and I want to paint the kitchen cabinets and re-grout the countertops. Also, if I get the time, I will paint the master bathroom and tile the floor. All this plus work, take care of three kids, run them around town and do all of the garden work, canning and cleaning. Should be a breeze right?

Who turned on the heat?

As is typical here in Virginia, we go from 40's and 50's to high 70's and 80's almost overnight. Today's high is expected to each 85, that is pretty dang warm for April!

Gray and I went and hauled another 20 bags of soil today. Then we planted the side garden, all but the sweet potatoes which won't be ready until mid May. Ryan finished the berry patch, and I hope we get lots of berries, although we know the first year isn't the best. We have a ton of strawberries, three blueberry bushes, raspberries and blackberries. They will come back each year, so we will be enjoying them for years to come. The main garden is still a work in progress. I am hoping we can move a bunch of the soil into the lower garden today so that i can till and plant it next week. the upper garden still needs to be turned a lot, it has probably not been moved about since the house was built over 30 years ago! We also need to build the trellis, which should be a simple bunch of two by fours, although sinking them into the soil might be tricky. Worse comes to worse, I can grow the beans and tomatoes in cages, although the end result will not be as plentiful.

So much to do, but we are making headway. Now if I could figure out a way to do all of this all day, keep the house clean and get my work done, now that is quite the feat!

Doctors, oil changes, CSA's and more!

So, it was a bad night. A very long and loud bad night, but it is over. Took Grayson to the doctor, he has another ear infection and sinus infection. They gave home a14 day treatment of antibiotics, but Ryan and I are thinking of throwing the script out. We are tired of giving him these medicines and them not working. I do know if he would get on Dr. Tom's table he would feel better, but there is only so much coaxing you can do with a three year old.

We also had the oil changed, yippee. Then we headed off to gather the weekly CSA goodies. I have been very happy with what has been packed up each week, and admit I was nervous about the Spring CSA as the options are usually limited in produce. This week we have a huge bag of greens, more radishes, green garlic, chives and parsley, broccoli rabe and a jar of honey! That is a great haul for what we are spending, and I love that we are supporting local farms. I cannot wait to see what we get for summer, and along with our garden, I am feeling hopeful that we will be able to can and freeze enough to last most of the winter!

I am now off to till the new garden once more and plane the acorn squash, butternut squash, sweet pumpkins and fingelings. Sweet potatoes will also be in this garden, but the plants will not be in until May.

Banking on a bad night

So it is not even 9:30 and Gray has already been up screaming. Haven has come down and told me that her stomach hurt. We are in for some fun!

Who needs sleep?

Do you know what does not make for a good night's sleep? A three year old wailing every 30-45 minutes, all night, until he FINALLY fell asleep at 6 am and I had to wake him at 7:30. Seems Gray has caught Britt's cold and he is having trouble breathing, hence the frantic screaming all night. Today he looks awful, and is tired and crabby. Gave him a treatment and figure we will be at the doctor tomorrow if the wheezing doesn't get better and he keeps screaming, usually means the boy has an ear infection.

Today I have presentations, but I believe we are short a group, so class may be quick, thank goodness. Then when I get home, I have grading to do, then off to bed EARLY!

The power of friends

Gray and I had a busy and trying day out today, and when we got home, there in front of the door was a package. Inside were two awesome books on organics sent by my friend Rachel. I cannot begin to tell you how much it meant to me to come home and find something that was meant for me, that someone thought of me, it made me feel very special. Rachel and I go WAY back to 6th grade and I wish we lived closer so that we could share more of our lives with each other. It meant so much that she thought of me, especially as the last few days have been hard for me. It means even more that Rachel took time to send me the books given I know she is crazy at work, moving and dealing with family illness. It takes a special person to think of others when there is so much going on in their life, and Rachel is one special person who I am grateful to know.

A shiny new day

So, I was up late last night, as I expected, grading papers. This morning I got the kids up and made french toast and sausage for the girls, eggs and sausage for Gray. I figured we could all use a hearty start to the day. Brittan was feeling better, so she and Haven were dropped at school and Gray and I came home to clean up and get ready for our day.

I need to grade at least 10 more papers this morning, then we will go to lunch, the farm, Dr. Tom's and home. I will make dinner, then we will drop Haven off to play and Brittan, Grayson and I will go to soccer. Home for supper, baths for the kids, and work for me. I know the day ahead is a busy one, but I also know it will all get done, simply because it has to.

My class I am taking is getting ready to end, so I am anxious to finish that work this week and say goodbye to the awful stress. A new class begins in two weeks, so it will be a welcome relief. I have three more assignments due by Saturday, and I anticipate finishing the big one tomorrow night. Thursday is usually a slow day here, just housework and gardening, so it will be a good opportunity to finish out my classwork.

Off to grade essay exams!

What did you do today?

Here is what I did:
Took Haven to school, took Gray and Britt (home sick) with me to get snacks and cereal and go to the bank. Came home and vacuumed the house, washed the rug, made cookies for the girl scouts and my kids, made my kids lunch, gave them a nap, mopped the floors, did the dishes (twice), worked at both jobs, answered a million emails, did course checks for over an hour, mentored new faculty, helped old faculty that seemed to forget the requirements of their job, emailed some more, organized the laundry, took a shower, got ready for work. Now it is almost 5 and I will be leaving for work, I will be home after 10pm and will grade more papers, at least 15 all essay exams, that should take a few hours. Tomorrow looks just as busy, but such is my life!

Note to Husband...Part 2

First off, for anyone else reading this, my apologies that this has turned into husband anger, but this is really my life and sometimes you have to write it out as it comes.

Dear Husband...again,
So glad you read the other note, now why don't we clarify a few things. When you say I always distrust other women, and that I am nervous about all of your other relationships (you said paranoid, I am being nice) why can't you give me an example? I can think of at least 8 women your are friends with who I have no issues with at all, who I don't care about your friendship or give it much thought. When I asked you to name ONE other person, you couldn't...hint, that is because the only other person I have ever had concerns about nearly ended our marriage. You want me to think this is me being crazy, paranoid, jealous, etc. Let's start with crazy, I admit in lots of ways I am, but not in this situation. Paranoid, not so much. Jealous, well I am sure there are people I am jealous of, usually people with good relationships (haha) and more money, but I can GUARANTEE that there is no way that I would ever be jealous of some white trash girl from upstate NY. I mean, I am sure it is loads of fun to come from a family with heaps of baby daddies and multiple marriages and no education, but I will stick with my current status, thank you very much.

I promise you one thing, four years ago when this happened I was 7 months pregnant with Gray and feeling very trapped. I am not now, and I have no problem with you walking out the door, nor do I have a problem kicking you out. See, I have been smart all these years, and made sure that I was working towards making enough to support myself and the kids. Sad that I had to feel this would happen again, even sadder it did.

stupid class

I know you were all really worried about if I would earn a B- (passing in doctoral studies) in my class. As it stands, I have an A- and even if I don't do any remaining assignments I would earn a B-. Given that I will do the assignments, I am anticipating an A- or a B+ at the worst. Needless to say I am very relieved!

crappity crap crap crap

Britt just came downstairs and told me her head and stomach hurt. Hmmmm, kid has been really weepy, cold and tired today. Checked her temp and she is just over 100, and knowing Britt, she will get to 103-105 pretty quickly when she feels as bad as she does. She took a two hour nap today and just went back to lay in her bed, that is not a good sign. Oh well, she will miss swimming tonight, and if I can, I will send Haven with a neighbor, if not, oh well, I do the best I can.

At least I premade dinner, and I am going to do the dishes and vacuum so if I have a sick kid all night, I won't have to clean tomorrow morning. Plus I SCRUBBED the master bathroom, it is one of those often neglected rooms, so I can offically move the kittens in there tonight. I also overhauled the master bedroom so I can sit up there and grade lots and lots of exams tonight in a super neat and clean environment. Woohoo, lucky me.

A note to husbands

Here is an idea, don't take your wife for stupid. Really don't take your wife for stupid when she cooks, cleans, raises the kids, has a master's and is halfway through a doctoral program and has caught you in lies before. Don't assume that she won't find things out, that other people won't tell her or that you are suddenly so bright that you can pull one over on her.

Don't lie and say you aren't talking to someone when you are. Don't tell her that you are "just friends" and then treat said person better than you treat your wife. Don't say that you never discuss your wife and then bitch about your relationship or your wife. When your wife says a relationship you have with another woman is too close, take it as a hint that it IS TOO CLOSE. If you have to lie, sneak around, hide things, etc....guess what, the relationship is more than friendship and inappropriate.

if you are sending this woman things in the mail without telling your wife, there is something wrong, and when you have done this before and lied to wife for a year, anticipate that she will be blowing her top sometime soon. Also note that that same stupid wife you thought you could trick will ensure that one of two things happen, either this woman and you quit all contact, or you and wife will quit all contact. Think about it.

Chuggin' along

We were busy today. Got up, got the girls off to school, grabbed Grayson and Emily and off to PT school, then we picked up our CSA share, grabbed Em's girls, went to the feed store, then to Lowes, then home, then Lowes again! Ryan tilled and planted today. We also got a new grill, and I am SOOOOOOO excited to have one that works. Then Haven had riding, Ry went to parent/teacher conferences and I had a conference call.

Tomorrow will also be a bit busy, but not as much. Cleaning, planting and organizing, but spring is coming!!!

Almost there

So, I sat through six presentations, came home and took the kids to dinner. I am now back home and hunkered down in my PJ's with a cup of GOOD coffee working on my paper. Thankfully, the professor granted an extension, so I need to write three pages tonight and I will finish the paper off tomorrow. Now all I have to do is run around tomorrow morning, clean the house, have a conference call and finish this paper and I can relax!

Hey

If you know what Tomato Rhumba's was let me know by posting a comment.

Bonus points if you know what chain restaurant it was an extension of.

HINT HINT...I know there is one lurker who knows this answer ;)

The PAIN

So, one of the side effects of being so high stressed is that when you break, you break hard! Right now I am in a ton of pain, achy all over.

Currently I have a group project that is due tomorrow at PT school, and one group is having a full on meltdown. It is not fun to have to get in the middle of drama and be the one who punishes. In addition, a bunch of my students did really poorly on an assignment, so I need to find a way to pick them up tomorrow.

FT school is kicking my tush, I have a lot of little things to do that add up to a lot of time. My class is ridiculous and the paper that is due tomorrow is not even started, sigh.

Usually Thursday is my light day, this week I have to drive to PT school to fill out a form, then I need to go get our first CSA box. Then home to work on the gardens and then Ryan will go to the girl's parent teacher conferences while I take a conference call. Hopefully Haven's riding teacher will allow us to just drop Haven off and then pick her up after lesson, since we cannot be in two places at once!

Doom and Gloom

OK, the weather has to change, and SOON!

The gray nastiness that is a Virginia "spring" is enough to make you crazy. Keep in mind that this comes on the heels of a gray winter, so I need a little sunshine.

We got going pretty well today, I got my green coffee and it is roasting away, Hurrah! Once I am dressed, we will go with Emily and get her girls, then the normal Tuesday lunch and farm ride. Tonight Britt has soccer if the weather cooperates.

I know everyone was as worried as I was about my paper. My instructor posted a sample paper, so now I at least know what to do.

Off to put clothes on!

Long Days

I am sitting in a VERY HOT classroom while my students finish their exam. I got all of those papers grades and really tried to figure out what I am supposed to do for this paper. I have read the information no less than 20 times and I still cannot figure it out. It would be helpful if the teacher would email me back, but alas, no response. I guess I will do some grading tonight for FT school, so I can dedicate tomorrow AND Wednesday to writing this stupid paper. I am looking forward to a few weeks off!

Where do the days go????

It is almost 3 pm and I am not sure where my day went. Funny how some days you look at the clock and time is dragging, and others it flies!

I still need to wrangle some dinner for the kiddos and get dressed for work, but most everything else was taken care of. I have another monster paper due, not even sure how to do it, but I will start tonight when I get home at 10. If all goes well, I will have all of my Wednesday classes papers graded tonight so that is off my plate, then tomorrow is farm day and I will be busy writing the paper and doing grading. Ah well, at least I have a high B+ in the class, almost an A-, I just need to get these other papers correct.

Monday Blues

It is just nasty outside, that gray misty rain that makes you wish the sky's would just pour and get it over with!

We got a late start today, the girls were tired from swimming and getting to bed so late. Maybe that is my fault since my almost 8 year old is trained for a 7:30 bedtime, but hey I work at night and need my sanity!

Girls got to school on time, barely, then Gray and I went to see Dr. Tom and then ran to get snack stuff for the brownies and a few other odds and ends. Came home, made coffee (still the nasty stuff) and started to do my Monday Course Checks. Well, something is up with the site and I cannot get into the classes. I am sure it will clear up soon, but it put a kink in my morning. So now I will go vacuum and switch laundry and do the housework thing, so that I can do the checks later. I also have to figure out dinner for tonight and go to work. I am giving an exam tonight, so I plan on grading some of my other classes papers and working on one of my papers. My favorite thing last week was arguing with my teacher. He said that DDB Needham was an abbreviation, I wrote back and told him it is the corporate name. He wrote back and said I needed to look further into it, hahaha, I KNEW people who worked there when they changed the name officially to DDB Needham (that is why there are no periods!!!!) Wrote him again and gave him the history and explained the branding changed in 1999 to officially change the name to DDB Needham (plus it would be stupid to write out the full name)

Almost chicken time

So the kittens are growing nicely and three will leave and go to new homes in a few weeks. We will be keeping one of the calicos who is yet to be named, and the gray little one who will be called Tuesday. We are now a house with three cats, a Newfoundland, a hamster and by summers end, chickens.

Once the garden is planted and the kittens move out, I will begin preparing for the chickens. I am hoping to be able to order 17 week pullets rather than day olds so that we can get our eggs sooner, but we will have to see what happens. First in line will be building out the coop and run, which needs to be covered due to all of the hawks we have.

Oh the horror!

It is horrible and terrible and awful that I have no more coffee. OK, actually that should read that I have no more GOOD coffee, I do have those horrible little black beans you buy at the grocery store. I cannot believe that I used to actually like that stuff, I have been spoiled by the fresh roasted coffee, something about it filling the house with the aroma, the deep gloss of the beans, oh it is heaven.

I ordered more green beans, but they won't be here until tomorrow. You can bet you bippy the box will come and the roaster will immediately be turned on so that I don't need to suffer another day.

I absolutely love roasting coffee, I love the smell and the sounds it makes when it first cracks. I wish we could purchase a commercial roaster, and I would make and sell my own. Maybe next year will bring the cash we need to get that running. Best part of roasting coffee, you can do it at home (we would make a room in the garage) and I would sell it at local farm markets, online, to local restaurants, etc. Such a good dream :)

Need to get moving....

So I have vacuumed the house, fed the kids and put some laundry away. Then I sat down and did a little work, but I am just feeling slow today. What I need to do now is clean the bathroom, switch the laundry and fold a bunch of clothes. Then the kids need lunch and they are ALL resting today since we have swimming. While they nap, I will mop the main level and figure out a dinner plan and grade some papers. I am hoping that while I am stuck at swimming for two hours, I can get a lot of papers graded.

OK, I am off to get moving on my jobs!

Rainy day

It is a rainy, rainy morning. In one way, I am relieved that Haven won't have riding. On the other hand, I am itching to till the side garden so I can get my butternut and acorn squash, sweet pumpkins and potatoes in the ground. We should be past first frost, so if tomorrow cooperates, I will be tilling and planting that garden, and on Thursday Ryan will till the berry patch and the main garden. My seedlings are growing strong, so I am anxious to get them into the ground as soon as is safe.

We determined the structure for the tomato and bean trellis. Ryan wanted to use lattice, but I was concerned it would block too much light, so we are using the trellis netting. The frame will be 2 x 2's with a ladder top to provide support, then we place the netting. Each year we will replace the netting as needed, but the frame will be sturdy and will last. The upper garden will house beans, tomatoes , carrots and head lettuce. Lower garden has the four types squash/zucchini, eggplant, two types of cukes, and leaf lettuce. I am so very excited for the harvest :)

Soccer

Britt had her first soccer game today, and while it looked like a crazy mess of pony tails and blue and white on the field, the kids seemed to have fun. Brittan seemed to like it, and she was really tired after the game, and hot. I hope that the weekly practices and games will build up her stamina. She is just a little wisp of a kid, so she tires easily and gets hot/cold quickly.

While Britt was playing her game, and we were supposed to be cheering for her, Haven was being a pain. She is so used to all events being about her, and being the center of attention, she couldn't stand that this was for Brittan. She whine and moaned and just plain acted poorly. Her bad attitude followed us to lunch after the game, where I ended up leaving Ryan and the kids and going to the car just so I didn't have to look at her scowly face anymore.

Then we went to Lowes and bought a tiller for the gardens and some more soil. We also picked out a new grill, especially since the one we have is from when we bought our first house over 7 years ago and I grill as much as possible in the spring and summer.

Cam home and I started cutting away at the top tier of the new garden. It was hard work, and I don't even feel like I got that much done. Next we will use the tiller in the top and bottom tiers, and I will build out the side garden. So much work, so little time.

Actions and words

Why do people not understand that for many of us, myself included, all the pretty words in the world don't change the actions. I have been chastised often for walking the moral high ground, and for being judgmental, and I admit to those faults. One thing I always do though, is apologize when I am wrong and try my best to live my life doing the best I can everyday. Some days I fail miserably, others I don't, but I do try every single day. I don't care what people tell me, as a matter of fact, I am most apt to not believe them anyway, but I do know what I see, what people do, and how they act.

Lobster and three year olds

So I decided to take my boy out to lunch. and when I asked he where he wanted to go, he said Red Lobster. I said fine and off we went. We get there and guess what he wants to order....macaroni and cheese! Well, of course I let him, and I had some shrimp and we headed off from lunch. Went to the store to look at bookcases and dressers, then off to the toy store as promised. We had over $60 in gift cards and we left with almost $40 left, I have never had that experience before! We got some new outdoor toys, sand toys, bubbles, etc. It is getting to be that time of year when I can kick the kids outside to play!

Britt had fun with Daddy on the field trip and Haven came up grumpy, but cheered up. I made some Flannel Cakes with sausage for dinner, a calm and and quiet dinner.

Just me and my boy

So Ryan is off for the field trip. He and Brittan have sacks filled with sandwiches, drinks and goodies. They are going to the Children's Museum, so I know they will have a blast! My husband has very long curly hair he wears in a ponytail and a goatee, and he is about 6'3" tall, so people make a lot of assumptions about him. Seems the teacher gave him just Brittan and another little girl we knew from dance, she gave more kids to the moms, can we say sexist? Little does she know that he could have handled half that class single handed and they would have had an awesome time and been watched over and safe. I have lots of complaints about my husband, but I swear he is better at wrangling a ton of kids than I am, he keeps them safe while also making sure they have a fun. I know that Britt and her friend will have the BEST time!

Haven rode in with them and will hitch a ride home. She is a bit jealous of Britt's trip, but I promised that as long as I could, I would go on her upcoming field trip. I had also said I was planning to take Gray to the petting zoo, but with all of the rain, it doesn't seem like a good idea. Maybe I will see if I can find something special to do with him, although he seems content to just get some alone time with me. Maybe we will play cars on the floor or break out the playdoh, some special alone time for him.

UPDATE= I think I will take him out to lunch and to get some new outside toys....especially since he just came up to me, hugged me and told me I was pretty. ahhhh, little boys are so sweet!

Liar liar

OK, so I did work. BUT, before I did I read half of a book, while sitting in the living room, under a blanket, drinking tea. That is big for me. Now the work is done and I am off to make lunches for tomorrow and to convince the hubby that we should watch a movie.

Yummy smells

Since I decided to have a quiet day (haha) I only cleaned the house, did the dishes and went to the grocery store this morning. Brittan has a field trip tomorrow and Ryan is going, so we needed goodies to fill their brown paper bags.

Came home and unloaded and made some chocolate chip cookies for the kids. Ryan is a bit down, stuff at work, so he also needed some cookies to cheer him up too. The weather got nasty and it was sleeting (when will spring come!) so I went and grabbed the kids from school so they didn't have to ride the bus in that muck.

Came home and started dinner, a roast chicken, roasted veggies and stuffing.....my FAVORITE dinner. Tonight I will NOT work, I will only watch a movie with the husband and have quiet time. Now tomorrow, that is another story.....

Smelling the flowers

There are moments we all have where we need to reexamine our lives. Luckily for me, these happen almost weekly, and I try my best to learn from mistakes, my own and others.

So, I am going to sit and watch a movie with my son, because I fear I haven't spent as much time doing the fun things with him. Husband is back in bed since he is exhausted and stayed up late last night trying to support me while I finished my paper. Then I will clean my house and find a way to not feel so bad about myself. The funny thing about life, sometimes people hold up mirrors and use them to help you better yourself, and other times they hold them up to make you feel worse. It is my choice how I feel about myself, and I decided that I will try to push those bad feelings aside and focus on the good. No one is perfect.

Time

It is now after midnight, and I am up...again.

I finally got all of my work done. I have to make a few changes to one paper, and haven't heard back regarding the other, but I am hoping all went well.

My day was nuts and long and I am exhausted. I feel like I haven't stopped moving in weeks. I also feel like no one understands my life, and fear that this journey is going to be a lonely one. It is unfortunate what you learn in time, the lessons I have learned from my experiences are diverse, from having my heart broken, to seeing it swell with love. I guess only time will tell who will be standing with me when all of this is done, but there is little I can do about that. I am one of those people who feels that if you cannot do something to the best of your ability, then don't bother, and it applies to all aspects of life.

I wish everyone who criticizes me or tells me how or what I should be doing could spend a single day in my life. I think then they would see just how hard it is to balance all that I do, and how close to the edge you are standing at all times. I am trying my best everyday, even if it doesn't seem like it, and I am sorry if it isn't good enough. It is always easier to stand outside looking in and tell someone what they should do, it is very different when you are immersed in the situation. This is by far the hardest thing I have had to do.

All I can do it get up tomorrow and keep pushing forward. I am thankful for the small handful of people who have taken this journey and can provide insight, although I don't know anyone who has done this with little kids and two jobs. If anyone knows someone like that, send them my way, I am sure we both could use the support.

Bad mornings, good days?

So the morning began badly, really, really, really badly...in tears, sick to your stomach badly.

BUT...I got the girls off to school, Gray and I went and made copies of the exam for today, we renewed my car registration, came home and cleaned up, I heard back regarding Fall schedule at PT school, boss at PT school gave me a bunch of information on finding a teaching job and all I have left is to get ready for work and do my call.

So my crappy morning can be done now, I am hoping for a decent day and night, and then tomorrow I am doing housework ONLY!

Drowning

If no one hears from me in a few days, send a rescue team....I fear I am drowning in this paper