Cute isn't she :) Teagan is rocking her striped leg warmers and cloth diaper, finished off with an adorable toothless grin. She is my chubbiest baby by far, weighing in at just shy of 13lbs last Sunday at the ER. Love her chubby thighs and toes, baby toes are the cutest thing ever!
I have four kids aged 9 to just shy of 4 months old. There are three girls and one boy in the mix and their personalities are all very different. In my experiences as a mom, through mom's clubs, friendships, blogs, twitter, family, facebook, coworkers, etc. I have found that there are so many styles to parenting and that moms are so very tough on themselves and each other.
I don't think I judge other moms, with the exception of those who CPS should be called on for beating, starving, abusing their kids...and really, in those situations who can blame me? With the other moms I encounter along the way, I really don't like to judge how they approach their role for a few reasons. The first is that I don't know their kids and/or spouses, even with good friends and family, I don't KNOW them in the way that someone who lives with them every day for years on end does. I also don't know what they have tried, what works for them, and what they refuse to try. We all have to make hard choices in raising our children, and most moms don't like to talk about the many failures we all encounter on the path to finding what works. I only know how to raise my four kids to the ages they are. I have never had any kids other than these, so I am still learning as I go, and while I have had a nine year old girl, I have not had Brittan and Teagan as nine year old girls....yet. Finally, I don't know how these moms were raised, with the exception of my own sister, and even she and I had very different experiences growing up in one household.
So here is the thing. Use all of these other folks in your life who approach mothering as an opportunity for you to grow and expand your ideas. Rather than judge what they are doing, look at what choices you have made and try to determine where you can improve in your own life. Be open minded and listen to each other, you never know when that idea you shunned suddenly becomes the best and only choice you have left to try.
Since we live on an alternative schedule, Fridays are not that exciting for me. While Ryan is off, I work and get home at dinnertime. Then tomorrow Ry will need to go to sleep in the afternoon and I will again be alone with all four kiddos....did I mention Britt has a birthday part a half hour away?
So unlike the masses that rejoice on Fridays, I secretly loathe them. It means another weekend when all the other mom's have help and relief and family time, and I just get two extra kids home from school and a lot more noise.
Today I decided to dig up the small garden bed we have right outside the back door. We created this bed this year as a trial area for root veggies and unfortunetly we had a number of heavy, flooding rains that killed off most of my onions and garlic. Today I dug out the garden and was thrilled to see a bunch of small carrots! While the bed did not do as well as hoped, I was happy to get something out of it!
Next year I am hoping Ryan will build raised beds on the far side of the creek. I would like to put potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, parsnips, garlic and onions there. Also, if possible, I would like another bed for pumpkins, acorn squash, spaghetti squash and butternut squash. This will leave the main garden for beans, cukes, lettuce, and tomatoes.
Style is a funny thing. When I was younger I never wore dresses or skirts unless forced to...literally in elementary school my mom MADE me wear a dress or skirt every Thursday!
As I grew up, had kids and my "mom" style began to evolve I learned one thing...i LOVE skirts! I wear those long hippie skirts almost daily. They make me feel feminine, and dressed and comfy. They are climate controlled as i can always hike them up as needed. They flow well and swoosh and generally make me one happy mama.
For me, the ability to pull on a skirt, put my still very long hair into a pony and run out into the world makes me like I am put together. I don't wear my skirts because I am old fashioned or feel I am "supposed" to, I wear them because they are so freeing and comfortable.
My goal is to learn to sew my own skirts. I have a few favorites that are the perfect length and have a skirt that is just the right fullness. I would love to be able to mimic this style and learn to sew them myself. I am hoping to go to the fabric store in a few weeks and get some material. I want to make matching skirts for the big girls and I and once I master that, I may even try a dress for Teagan :)
I have had a post in my head for awhile discussing larger families. We have what most would consider a larger family, with four kids and the potential for more either naturally or through foster/adoption. Here in Virginia, many folks we know have three kids, but four is more unusual and more than four is very unusual. Growing up on Long Island, almost everyone I knew came from a two kid house with just a few three kid households.
I find it odd that complete strangers find that they have a right to comment to parents of larger families and to ask very personal questions.
I get asked a lot if we have a large family for religious reasons. I understand that many families do have more children based upon their belief that God determines their family size. I respect their beliefs, but being that I am in no way religious, and lean more towards a belief in multiple gods, I am not putting my fertility on that :)
Folks with lots of kids are often asked if they know what causes it, or if they plan more, and why they have so many. I find this so strange as most would not walk up to someone who has no children or only one and ask them if they know what causes pregnancy...what happens if they say no?? It seems that as fertility and births rise, the need to be respectful of others privacy drop! I actually had someone at my children's fall festival ask me if I was having more, how many more, why I have so many, what I do for a living, etc and she was someone I had never met, didn't work for the school OR have kids AT the school! Does that seem a little much to anyone else? Why does she care?
It is also assumed a lot that I don't work or I am uneducated....imagine the surprise on people's faces when I explain that I am getting ready to finish my doctorate and I am a professor. There are large families where the mom stays home full time, and ones where mom works....as long as the family is happy and functioning well, does it matter what goes on in the household?
So here it is, this is why WE have chosen the family that we have.
I really love my kids, I think they are fun and interesting and they fill my life up in a way that nothing else can. I really enjoy having a house full, I love that they will have siblings to grow up with, to share life experiences with and to depend on. I have made this family my priority, the people on this house come first before anything else. The next thing in line is my job, because it brings in income to support all these people I love, and then whatever is left I give to people outside our family. I don't have a lot of friends, I really don't have the time nor the inclination to deal with the drama that often occurs when others are in your life. The friends I have I treat like family, I love them, care for them and would drop anything for them....that is why I only have a few of them!
I believe in fate, and I honestly believe that the children Ryan and I have been given are the ones we are meant to raise. For now, we are meant to have these four little people in our care and we have CHOSEN not to do anything to permanently remove the option for more children. Being that I am not even 35 years old, the idea of Ryan or I removing the possibility of more children just doesn't feel right to us, and we know that with that comes the possibility that we will have another child. Health wise, I need to be sure that I can handle it should it happen, but that is between me and my doctors, and should they determine that another pregnancy would be a danger to my health, then and only then would be remove the possibility.
I will discuss the environmental impact and "green" factor in relation to larger families in another post this month :)
I cannot express how thankful I am that the new hospital opened in our town earlier this year, we have already used the ER there three times, with the most recent being last night. If we had to go to the other hospitals, it is a good half hour each way, and the one I prefer is a bit farther but nicer, the other hospital is the one I delivered at but would not take my kids to.
Last night around 7:30 I went to feed the baby. She had been really sleepy all day and had a lot of dirty diapers, but she is really young and they do that. I had checked her temp earlier as she was extra fussy, but it was normal, so I didn't think much of it. When I went to feed her, I noticed she was hot and that she was gasping and holding her breath. To a mom of four with two kids with breathing issues, this was a red flag. I turned her upright and could see she was having some trouble. Checked her temp and it was 102 and he feet and hands were cold which meant she was having some issues moving her blood through her body. Called Ryan down, we checked her over and saw she was retracting in her chest (pulling in when breathing) and holding her breath then gasping. She then vomited everywhere and that was that. Being that she is only 3 months old and has a heart condition, the severity of which is not yet clear, we were headed in.
I really like the ER. They were quick to get us back and were so good with her. The staff is wonderful and they worked to find ways to make her, and me, more comfortable. After a chest x-ray, blood work and exam, it was determined that she has the flu and an ear infection and that her lungs looked good (whew!) She was not keeping fluids down, so they hooked her up to an IV to rehydrate her and gave her some anti nausea meds and antibiotics. We left with an antiviral and antibiotics and a very tired and yucky feeling baby. Hopefully her little body will tolerate the meds well and she will not develop any other infections while fighting this flu. Poor thing just looks terrible.
So expect to see a daily post each day of November. I will try to keep it interesting.
Daylight Saving Time is upon us and I am trying to make the most of my extra hour today. It is now just before 10 am and I have finished canning 4 pints and 2 quarts of sliced apples packed in a light syrup. I will probably can another 8 pints today and that should take care of most of our apples and leave just enough for eating enjoyment. While I am a little sad that we had less apples this year and we will have less canned, I am also relieved as I am not sure how I would have processed them all having just had the flu.
Today Brittan has a birthday party to attend, so after we drop her off, the other kids and I are off for a post-Halloween annual event....the pumpkin purchase. We will go to the local nursery where they clearance all their pumpkins the day after Halloween. We will buy a bunch that will then be boiled, pureed and frozen to be used in pumpkin muffins, breads, soups, etc. While regulars pumpkins are not as sweet or pumpkiny as hubbard squash or pie pumpkins, they are a nice squash and give great flavor to different recipes. We also keep some frozen in chunks that I roast with carrots, butternut squash, parsnips, sweet potatoes, etc as a yummy winter side dish.
Busy day ahead!
