I always look before I leap, I plan, I obsess, I work through every scenario. Change is hard for me, yet I constantly crave it and it create inner chaos. We are trying to move in the next few years and our plan had been to move on the husband's job as my FT gig is from home, but we have started to reconsider. Ryan's job has become more flexible, so much so that he could probably telecommute exclusively. My FT gig allows for me to work another FT job, and I miss being "at" work, having coworkers I see and being in the industry. I will have to step back in soon or I will forever be labeled an academic and not be able to get back in. I also have great earning potential in the field, something we have known and had in our back pocket, but not something I am ready to move on...or so I thought.
In the last two weeks two jobs have cropped up that are perfect for me. One combines my background in tourism with my specialization in eco-consumerism and marketing. This is the one I really love, it is for a non-profit in upstate NY and would be a great move for me and the family. The main issue is housing. We cannot sell our house here yet, although we could probably rent it out for most of our monthly mortgage payment. We could rent up there, and it would be OK, but we are a big family and I would prefer to move once into *our* house. The other job is based in NYC and also combines marketing and eco-consumerism, this time with recruitment which is something I have done in the past as well. Another good fit, it would get us back to LI but again the housing issue is a concern. I also would need to work at least PT from home, my kids are used to that and deserve it, and it makes me a better employee. I applied for both, I guess we will see what happens. If it is meant to be, we could be moving by the end of summer which is both terrifying and exciting all at once. Please keep your fingers crossed that we will make good and wise choices because I don't like jumping in blindly!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Wish our Easter Bunny pooped cash
We had a good Easter overall. The bunny went way overboard and there was way too much "stuff" for th kids, EB must be overtired and easily confused :)
The kids had some fab outfits and I would love to share a picture, but they would not sit still for one! Thankfully I am planning to have a photoshoot of the kids and these are the outfits they will be wearing, so someday I will have pictures of them :)
My PT gig is wrapping up soon, which is a huge relief. Ryan and I have started moving on some of our big plans to move, we are actually at a point that if something works out we could move by end of summer, although it really is best for us to wait until next spring, but we are leaving it to fate. Kids are great, I am still ridiculously exhausted, same old same old around here :)
The kids had some fab outfits and I would love to share a picture, but they would not sit still for one! Thankfully I am planning to have a photoshoot of the kids and these are the outfits they will be wearing, so someday I will have pictures of them :)
My PT gig is wrapping up soon, which is a huge relief. Ryan and I have started moving on some of our big plans to move, we are actually at a point that if something works out we could move by end of summer, although it really is best for us to wait until next spring, but we are leaving it to fate. Kids are great, I am still ridiculously exhausted, same old same old around here :)
Friday, April 22, 2011
Best welcome home ever
It was the most craptastified ride home from PA. It was super swell most of the way, and I knew I was cutting it close to evening rush, so when I stopped to get gas on the turnpike I didn't go inside and get coffee or pee in an attempt to beat the traffic some...major mistake.
I hit traffic in Maryland and it took over 45 minutes to go 1/2 mile! Holy hell, then the beltway was a giant mess of wrecked cars and construction. By the time I passed Tyson's I was going to wet my pants if I didn't stop, so I swung by PT school and ran into the McDonalds to use the facilities. Then back on the road to sit in more traffic. The extra 2 1/2 hours was NOT fun, and while I stopped to avoid having my bladder explode, I hadn't pumped since 11:30 am and it was horribly painful.
BUT
As I turned the corner onto our street I saw two maniacs running about. Brittan and Grayson we running, jumping and waving their arms to welcome me home, and I was so happy to see them. Got out of the car and Ryan had come out with Teagan who was so excited to see me and once I held her she wrapped her little arms around my neck and held on, tight. Came inside and found Haven and Finn and said hello and gave them all big hugs and kisses.
The Westin may have pretty rooms and fancy sheets, but nothing was better than climbing into my own bed last night in my house filled with all these crazy people I love.
I hit traffic in Maryland and it took over 45 minutes to go 1/2 mile! Holy hell, then the beltway was a giant mess of wrecked cars and construction. By the time I passed Tyson's I was going to wet my pants if I didn't stop, so I swung by PT school and ran into the McDonalds to use the facilities. Then back on the road to sit in more traffic. The extra 2 1/2 hours was NOT fun, and while I stopped to avoid having my bladder explode, I hadn't pumped since 11:30 am and it was horribly painful.
BUT
As I turned the corner onto our street I saw two maniacs running about. Brittan and Grayson we running, jumping and waving their arms to welcome me home, and I was so happy to see them. Got out of the car and Ryan had come out with Teagan who was so excited to see me and once I held her she wrapped her little arms around my neck and held on, tight. Came inside and found Haven and Finn and said hello and gave them all big hugs and kisses.
The Westin may have pretty rooms and fancy sheets, but nothing was better than climbing into my own bed last night in my house filled with all these crazy people I love.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
My iPod defines my life history
So I left for my work trip Monday afternoon, settled into the car and plugged my phone in so I could listen to some music. About an hour into the trip I realized that each song had some significance in my life and as I thought more about it I determined that they all applied to one of three important relationships I have had in my life.
These three relationships are my defining moments and made me who I am. They are how I came to be the person I am today. Of course one of those defining relationships is with my husband, but the story begins many many years before I met him.
The summer after I graduated from HS I met this guy. He was fun, interesting, different and sweet. He was my first real relationship, one where we had real ups and downs and experienced life as adults. He was a great introduction into the real world, he helped me define myself, he let me try on so many hats to see which fit best and allowed me to be creative and adventurous. I explored the world and myself, learned about who I wanted to become and made a million mistakes. I learned so much from that relationship and while I was sad when it ended, I left so much stronger, wiser, and confident because of who I became within the safety of that cocoon. The songs I associate with that relationship are all about dreaming, thinking, being and loving yourself. They are songs of youthful daydreams and finding oneself, and when I hear them I think back on a much younger me and remember all the silly fun we had, and the feeling that the world was at my fingertips.
After we broke up, the next major relationship was when I was a few years into college. It was hard and intense. Everything about that time makes my shoulder hunch up a bit and gives me a knot in my stomach. This was the relationship where I laid it all out, I was in with both feet and wanted it to go somewhere. I wanted there to be a future, but there wasn't and it was for the best although i couldn't see that at the time. I said it was intense, which is an understatement, it was also so incredibly draining...we were either head over heels and all over each other or ready to kill each other. There was no comfortable spot, there was no safe place to fall and the pain was very real when it ended. I left that relationship broken, truly destroyed and shattered as a result of the dynamics, the situations we dealt with, how we dealt with them and the constant ups and downs. All that confidence I had after the first relationship, the feeling of security and strength was gone and I was a sad little heap on the floor. Those were hard, hard times for me. My darkest days. The next year was spent just trying to put myself back together and finish school. The songs from those times are sad and angry, they make me want to cry out and wish I could remove some of the really bad memories. I hear them and I feel so sad for the young me, so sad for how I felt and that I allowed myself to get so very hurt by it all.
Interestingly enough during that time my ex from the first relationship and I were friends and I swear he saved me from myself. He was my date to my sister's wedding just months after the horrific break up so I didn't have to go alone and face everything and everyone. He made me laugh so I didn't feel all the pain and sadness. I would go over to his house and just sit on the couch with him, and he made me feel OK again. That friendship made me feel worthwhile again, made me feel like I was going to be OK and that I was lovable and would find my way.
About a year after the horrible break up, my now husband and I struck up a friendship at work, then started dating. He was going to be my rebound, my toe in the dating pool, my re-entry into the world, but somehow he was my beginning and end. We had a rough go the first few years, but we both decided that the other one was worth fighting for, worth holding onto, worth loving regardless of how damaged and here we are now-loved, happy, supported and strong. The songs that remind me of my husband are the love songs, the strong songs, the safe and secure in your arms songs, because I am home with him.
These three relationships are my defining moments and made me who I am. They are how I came to be the person I am today. Of course one of those defining relationships is with my husband, but the story begins many many years before I met him.
The summer after I graduated from HS I met this guy. He was fun, interesting, different and sweet. He was my first real relationship, one where we had real ups and downs and experienced life as adults. He was a great introduction into the real world, he helped me define myself, he let me try on so many hats to see which fit best and allowed me to be creative and adventurous. I explored the world and myself, learned about who I wanted to become and made a million mistakes. I learned so much from that relationship and while I was sad when it ended, I left so much stronger, wiser, and confident because of who I became within the safety of that cocoon. The songs I associate with that relationship are all about dreaming, thinking, being and loving yourself. They are songs of youthful daydreams and finding oneself, and when I hear them I think back on a much younger me and remember all the silly fun we had, and the feeling that the world was at my fingertips.
After we broke up, the next major relationship was when I was a few years into college. It was hard and intense. Everything about that time makes my shoulder hunch up a bit and gives me a knot in my stomach. This was the relationship where I laid it all out, I was in with both feet and wanted it to go somewhere. I wanted there to be a future, but there wasn't and it was for the best although i couldn't see that at the time. I said it was intense, which is an understatement, it was also so incredibly draining...we were either head over heels and all over each other or ready to kill each other. There was no comfortable spot, there was no safe place to fall and the pain was very real when it ended. I left that relationship broken, truly destroyed and shattered as a result of the dynamics, the situations we dealt with, how we dealt with them and the constant ups and downs. All that confidence I had after the first relationship, the feeling of security and strength was gone and I was a sad little heap on the floor. Those were hard, hard times for me. My darkest days. The next year was spent just trying to put myself back together and finish school. The songs from those times are sad and angry, they make me want to cry out and wish I could remove some of the really bad memories. I hear them and I feel so sad for the young me, so sad for how I felt and that I allowed myself to get so very hurt by it all.
Interestingly enough during that time my ex from the first relationship and I were friends and I swear he saved me from myself. He was my date to my sister's wedding just months after the horrific break up so I didn't have to go alone and face everything and everyone. He made me laugh so I didn't feel all the pain and sadness. I would go over to his house and just sit on the couch with him, and he made me feel OK again. That friendship made me feel worthwhile again, made me feel like I was going to be OK and that I was lovable and would find my way.
About a year after the horrible break up, my now husband and I struck up a friendship at work, then started dating. He was going to be my rebound, my toe in the dating pool, my re-entry into the world, but somehow he was my beginning and end. We had a rough go the first few years, but we both decided that the other one was worth fighting for, worth holding onto, worth loving regardless of how damaged and here we are now-loved, happy, supported and strong. The songs that remind me of my husband are the love songs, the strong songs, the safe and secure in your arms songs, because I am home with him.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Hi-ho-hi-ho
Tomorrow I leave for an annual three day conference in Pittsburgh. I am not packed. I am no where near ready to go and I booked Teagan's follow up at the doctor for 8:30 am tomorrow and I leave at noon, that should give me just enough time to feed Finn one last time before I go. I have to hustle tonight and get everything packed up!
I am looking forward to the conference in some ways, I really need a good nights sleep and I will get one sleeping alone for three nights. I like my coworkers and enjoy spending time with them. A mental break from juggling the five kids and the housework will be nice. Two long drives, alone, with MY music playing...bliss.
However....I am going to miss the kids like crazy, especially the two babies. I love the biggies but they are busy, have school and are pretty independent, and while I will miss them, they will do ok with calls before school and before bed. My babies, oh how my heart aches when I think of leaving them. They are still so little, and Teagie still feels yucky and I am not sure how Finn will do getting all his meals via the bottle for three days. I have stored plenty of milk for him, and he has take a bottle every Monday and Wednesday when I taught at PT school, but it was only one bottle and the boy likes to nurse. I worry he won't eat enough. I will leave tomorrow because I have to, and I will enjoy my moments of freedom, but I will miss my kiddies and be happy to be home, well until I see the mess they left me :)
I am looking forward to the conference in some ways, I really need a good nights sleep and I will get one sleeping alone for three nights. I like my coworkers and enjoy spending time with them. A mental break from juggling the five kids and the housework will be nice. Two long drives, alone, with MY music playing...bliss.
However....I am going to miss the kids like crazy, especially the two babies. I love the biggies but they are busy, have school and are pretty independent, and while I will miss them, they will do ok with calls before school and before bed. My babies, oh how my heart aches when I think of leaving them. They are still so little, and Teagie still feels yucky and I am not sure how Finn will do getting all his meals via the bottle for three days. I have stored plenty of milk for him, and he has take a bottle every Monday and Wednesday when I taught at PT school, but it was only one bottle and the boy likes to nurse. I worry he won't eat enough. I will leave tomorrow because I have to, and I will enjoy my moments of freedom, but I will miss my kiddies and be happy to be home, well until I see the mess they left me :)
Saturday, April 16, 2011
We have hard days too
It's funny, when I had two kids it was perfectly acceptable to complain when you had a rough day, to ask for help and to whinge and whine about the hard moments and lets face it, when there are kids, there are always hard moments.
Now with my fab five I find that people really don't like it when I say anything aside from singing the praises of my brood. I am not sure why that is, I don't complain more with five than I did with two or three, to be honest I probably complain less however it seems like I lost my right to have a bad day and say so! I know I made the choice to have a larger than normal family, I know it is my choice to take them out places, but don't I get to have a rotten day once in a while too? Is it not politically correct for us to have whiny kids that get to us, or be exhausted and say so?
I believe parenting is hard hard work and regardless of how many kids you have, there are days that really suck. Let the mamas with a brood whine too please, we happily lend a sympathetic ear when moms of two have a rough day, give us the same courtesy. So who can guess what kid of day I had :)
Now with my fab five I find that people really don't like it when I say anything aside from singing the praises of my brood. I am not sure why that is, I don't complain more with five than I did with two or three, to be honest I probably complain less however it seems like I lost my right to have a bad day and say so! I know I made the choice to have a larger than normal family, I know it is my choice to take them out places, but don't I get to have a rotten day once in a while too? Is it not politically correct for us to have whiny kids that get to us, or be exhausted and say so?
I believe parenting is hard hard work and regardless of how many kids you have, there are days that really suck. Let the mamas with a brood whine too please, we happily lend a sympathetic ear when moms of two have a rough day, give us the same courtesy. So who can guess what kid of day I had :)
Friday, April 15, 2011
Why hello sunshine
It is a glorious day, windows are open and I started dinner early so I can take the kids to the park after school. Teagan is feeling better, she is still sleepy but all in all she is on the mend. The babies and I ran errands this morning and I think I am almost ready for my trip, except my car is doing some weird braking thing. Thankfully I am taking Ryan's car and he doesn't have much to do with the kids and the car next week, thinking we may even be able to drop it at the shop Monday before I go and he can get a ride from the sitter to pick it up.
I have a new venture up my sleeve, well if you are in FB and my friend then you already know, but I am SO excited about it and best of all, I get to partner with some of the best people in the world on it :) Not trying to keep anyone hanging, but it is just getting started and I won't be ready to "launch" until early summer, so I am just going to keep it underwraps for awhile.
Off to open more windows and soak up some more of today, tomorrow is supposed to be rainy and stormy so I want to enjoy this while I can.
I have a new venture up my sleeve, well if you are in FB and my friend then you already know, but I am SO excited about it and best of all, I get to partner with some of the best people in the world on it :) Not trying to keep anyone hanging, but it is just getting started and I won't be ready to "launch" until early summer, so I am just going to keep it underwraps for awhile.
Off to open more windows and soak up some more of today, tomorrow is supposed to be rainy and stormy so I want to enjoy this while I can.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
We know how to party
Seriously you have not lived until you have woken up half your brood, put them in a car at 9:30 pm along with a toddler with a raging fever and high tailed it to the local Urgent Care. Then, while at the Urgent Care, you MUST have your sick toddler wet through her diaper due to the massive amounts of fluids you have pushed on her only to find out you have NO diapers in her size or even her brother's size in the car and only have size 1 disposibles. In an effort to win MacGyver Mom award, you take two size 1's and fashion a makeshift diaper for toddler planning to be back home within a half hour only to find that the Urgent Care cannot determine what is wrong with the feverish baby girl and that you will then be loading your fab 5 back into the car for a trip to the ER.
Thankfully the diaper concoction held up until the hubby made it back from work an hour away with a diaper. Then he collected the three big kids and the baby and headed home around midnight leaving the toddler and I at the hospital. Finally, after a chest x-ray, blood work and a urine sample (NOT fun to get) we left at 2:30 am, toddler still sporting a 102 fever on many, many, many high doses of motrin and tylenol with a diagnosis of a UTI and a script in hand. It is never dull that is for sure!
Thankfully the diaper concoction held up until the hubby made it back from work an hour away with a diaper. Then he collected the three big kids and the baby and headed home around midnight leaving the toddler and I at the hospital. Finally, after a chest x-ray, blood work and a urine sample (NOT fun to get) we left at 2:30 am, toddler still sporting a 102 fever on many, many, many high doses of motrin and tylenol with a diagnosis of a UTI and a script in hand. It is never dull that is for sure!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Brain dump
Watch out folks I am about to brain dump and I don't want to slosh your shoes...or your bare feet, that would be icky.
I am so tired and so stressed and even more than that I am so.damn.mad at myself. I HATE feeling the way I feel right now, I hate being over stressed and on edge and overwhelmed. I hate caring that the house is messy and not being able to accept WHY it is messy...because the husband has been working his ass off on the bathroom so I haven't had help, I have one sick kid, one 4 month old baby that won't sleep, one 21 month old that needs my attention all the time, two jobs, and no sleep! I get why I feel like things are out of control, but I wish I could accept that it is OK and it will all get done because it always does.
Here I sit just after midnight, I worked tonight and came home and straightened up, pumped so Finn will have milk when I am away next week and I graded. I have two calls tomorrow, one that I am dreading plus another day of juggling babies, housework and regular work while Ryan tries to make more headway on the floor. I KNOW it will get done, I KNOW it is OK that it is taking forever, everything takes forever with a houseful of kids and wacky jobs, but I get so damn anxious and crabby and I miss living my life. I don't want to miss any more moments, any more minutes with my kids stressing over a stupid bathroom or a cluttered corner. I want to have those moments back, I want to let it roll off my back, I want to care about keeping things nice but accept that sometimes I can only do so much. I want to enjoy my life, to know I do my best every day and not feel like a failure because the laundry has piled up or the TV needs to be dusted.
If anxiety is a bear, OCD and Anxiety are a rabid bear and they are infecting me and I am done with it all. I know where I stand right now, I have stood here about 4 months after every birth and I am right on the edge of postpartum depression, or for me, postpartum anxiety. I know there are meds, and I know they don't work for my anxiety. I know that I can pull myself away from that edge, that I can make lists and organize what I can and control small things and throw myself into my family. I know that I need to sleep and rest my old body and if I can do this I will feel better and I will have more control over my anxiousness. I know where I am and I am DONE with feeling this way on the inside. I am going to try try try to get control.
I am going to go away on my trip next week, blast the radio the whole ride, sleep like the dead and enjoy every second I am away while still missing my tribe like mad. I am going to come home with sleep under my belt, presents in my suitcase and a smile on my face, even if the house is trashed. I will remember that every spring I feel this way as we approach the end of the term at PT school and I get ready to attack all the projects that have been pushed aside, and I will remember that in a few weeks, PT gig will be over and I will be able to cross things off the to-do list daily.
I am so far from perfect it is scary. I am so lucky, it is unbelievable. I am going to try and remember just how good I have it.
I am so tired and so stressed and even more than that I am so.damn.mad at myself. I HATE feeling the way I feel right now, I hate being over stressed and on edge and overwhelmed. I hate caring that the house is messy and not being able to accept WHY it is messy...because the husband has been working his ass off on the bathroom so I haven't had help, I have one sick kid, one 4 month old baby that won't sleep, one 21 month old that needs my attention all the time, two jobs, and no sleep! I get why I feel like things are out of control, but I wish I could accept that it is OK and it will all get done because it always does.
Here I sit just after midnight, I worked tonight and came home and straightened up, pumped so Finn will have milk when I am away next week and I graded. I have two calls tomorrow, one that I am dreading plus another day of juggling babies, housework and regular work while Ryan tries to make more headway on the floor. I KNOW it will get done, I KNOW it is OK that it is taking forever, everything takes forever with a houseful of kids and wacky jobs, but I get so damn anxious and crabby and I miss living my life. I don't want to miss any more moments, any more minutes with my kids stressing over a stupid bathroom or a cluttered corner. I want to have those moments back, I want to let it roll off my back, I want to care about keeping things nice but accept that sometimes I can only do so much. I want to enjoy my life, to know I do my best every day and not feel like a failure because the laundry has piled up or the TV needs to be dusted.
If anxiety is a bear, OCD and Anxiety are a rabid bear and they are infecting me and I am done with it all. I know where I stand right now, I have stood here about 4 months after every birth and I am right on the edge of postpartum depression, or for me, postpartum anxiety. I know there are meds, and I know they don't work for my anxiety. I know that I can pull myself away from that edge, that I can make lists and organize what I can and control small things and throw myself into my family. I know that I need to sleep and rest my old body and if I can do this I will feel better and I will have more control over my anxiousness. I know where I am and I am DONE with feeling this way on the inside. I am going to try try try to get control.
I am going to go away on my trip next week, blast the radio the whole ride, sleep like the dead and enjoy every second I am away while still missing my tribe like mad. I am going to come home with sleep under my belt, presents in my suitcase and a smile on my face, even if the house is trashed. I will remember that every spring I feel this way as we approach the end of the term at PT school and I get ready to attack all the projects that have been pushed aside, and I will remember that in a few weeks, PT gig will be over and I will be able to cross things off the to-do list daily.
I am so far from perfect it is scary. I am so lucky, it is unbelievable. I am going to try and remember just how good I have it.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Spoke too soon
So I published that last post on Friday night as I sat in my pretty new bed in my pretty new room and planned a fun Saturday of swim lessons with the kids, lunch out and a quick Target run. But then reality set in, at 3 am when Brittan walked in and told me her stomach hurt, REALLY REALLY hurt. I told her to run downstairs (remember we have NO working upstairs bathrooms) and thankfully she made it and puked. Yeah. Meanwhile I was holding Finn who was woken up by everything and I quickly assessed the sick kid and realized she had a fever and she always pukes when she has a high fever. Took the temp and she was over 103, double yeah. Called the hubby and tried to figure out how I could be at the doctor with her and swim lessons with the other kids and it was determined I couldn't so I emailed the swim people to get a make up date. Medicated poor Britt and got her to bed, settled Grayson who had a bad dream and settled Teagan who woke up from the noise and then tried to go back to bed with a very awake Finn. Needless to say, that was pretty much when my day began.
Hubby came home, I checked Britt over and her fever had come down nicely with the meds and she wasn't complaining of anything in particular so we went about our day encouraging her to rest which she did. Right as I was prepping a gourmet dinner of bacon and eggs, Britt came down from a nap and had a 104 fever while still well medicated...not good. Hubby was getting ready for work, and was quickly told that I had to take her to the doctor, immediately, since Brittan is rarely sick and she was looking bad. He called work and said he was working from home and finished serving dinner while Britt and I headed to the new walk in clinic in town. Got there and checked in and paid the co-pay which is the same as at the ped (LOVE that) and got into a room. They swabbed her for flu and strep right away and the strep came back positive. She also has tonsillitis and an ear infection yet she says nothing hurts-weird kid! Anyway, we finished up and they gave us her meds while we were there-double LOVE leaving with meds in hand!
She is doing better today and played outside a bit but spiked a fever again tonight so she is home from school tomorrow. Teagan was super fussy all day and had a 100 degree fever at bed and Haven had a 99.somethingorother, so those two are being watched since strep can run through a house pretty quickly. So less got done then I wanted, and I am getting a wee bit stressed about my work trip in a week, but what can you do, kids get sick!
Hubby came home, I checked Britt over and her fever had come down nicely with the meds and she wasn't complaining of anything in particular so we went about our day encouraging her to rest which she did. Right as I was prepping a gourmet dinner of bacon and eggs, Britt came down from a nap and had a 104 fever while still well medicated...not good. Hubby was getting ready for work, and was quickly told that I had to take her to the doctor, immediately, since Brittan is rarely sick and she was looking bad. He called work and said he was working from home and finished serving dinner while Britt and I headed to the new walk in clinic in town. Got there and checked in and paid the co-pay which is the same as at the ped (LOVE that) and got into a room. They swabbed her for flu and strep right away and the strep came back positive. She also has tonsillitis and an ear infection yet she says nothing hurts-weird kid! Anyway, we finished up and they gave us her meds while we were there-double LOVE leaving with meds in hand!
She is doing better today and played outside a bit but spiked a fever again tonight so she is home from school tomorrow. Teagan was super fussy all day and had a 100 degree fever at bed and Haven had a 99.somethingorother, so those two are being watched since strep can run through a house pretty quickly. So less got done then I wanted, and I am getting a wee bit stressed about my work trip in a week, but what can you do, kids get sick!
Friday, April 8, 2011
Peace
I am so at peace right now. I am calm and collected and in an awesome mood. I am one zen mama. Wanna know why? Because I have an AWESOME room!! For too many years our bedroom resembled a dorm room, thrown together, no rhyme or reason, just stuff in a room. I hated it. I wanted a pretty room but we never really had the time or money, but this year we found both.
I have a bed, a real bed. It is white wrought iron and I freakin' love it. I got all new bedding, new sheets, and a ton of new throw pillows. i bought two new end tables, that match, each other AND the room! The room is all cleaned up, organized and rearranged and I finally feel like I have a grown up room. I have a few small things left to do, we need to put the TV on the wall, I need to swap the table and the treadmill and we need to bring the pew up from the garage and put pillows on it, but right now it is totally peaceful and serene, which is great because the rest of the house makes me want to pull my hair out.
I have a bed, a real bed. It is white wrought iron and I freakin' love it. I got all new bedding, new sheets, and a ton of new throw pillows. i bought two new end tables, that match, each other AND the room! The room is all cleaned up, organized and rearranged and I finally feel like I have a grown up room. I have a few small things left to do, we need to put the TV on the wall, I need to swap the table and the treadmill and we need to bring the pew up from the garage and put pillows on it, but right now it is totally peaceful and serene, which is great because the rest of the house makes me want to pull my hair out.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Today is good good good
Oh today, I love you so much!
It started off good, kids did their thing and were off without a hitch. I got a ton done before they even left, laundry switched, floors vacuumed, bathroom cleaned, dishes done, towels folded....always good to start the day this way! Girlies took the rolls I made for the teacher appreciation dinner which saved me a trip out and then I settled the babies into activities. Ryan came home bearing boxes of goodies from our Quail Cove pick up and I sorted it out since a friend ordered too. Then I hung with the hubby and my friend when she stopped by, chit chatting and having a nice visit.
Soon after I fed Teagan lunch and managed to get my work work done while she ate, put her up for a nap and settled Finn and graded a bunch of papers for PT gig. I still need to make dinner (buttermilk chicken fingers, mashed potatoes and corn on the cob) and go to the school to pick up Haven and have Grayson's parent-teacher conference, but I am not stressed at all and feel pretty at peace. It has been a good day, and I hope it continues. Windows open, candles lit and peaceful moments with sleeping babies, good good.
It started off good, kids did their thing and were off without a hitch. I got a ton done before they even left, laundry switched, floors vacuumed, bathroom cleaned, dishes done, towels folded....always good to start the day this way! Girlies took the rolls I made for the teacher appreciation dinner which saved me a trip out and then I settled the babies into activities. Ryan came home bearing boxes of goodies from our Quail Cove pick up and I sorted it out since a friend ordered too. Then I hung with the hubby and my friend when she stopped by, chit chatting and having a nice visit.
Soon after I fed Teagan lunch and managed to get my work work done while she ate, put her up for a nap and settled Finn and graded a bunch of papers for PT gig. I still need to make dinner (buttermilk chicken fingers, mashed potatoes and corn on the cob) and go to the school to pick up Haven and have Grayson's parent-teacher conference, but I am not stressed at all and feel pretty at peace. It has been a good day, and I hope it continues. Windows open, candles lit and peaceful moments with sleeping babies, good good.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Heartbreakers
We personally have made quite the contribution to my children's pediatric cardiologist's bank account. Our adventure first began nearly 11 years ago when the Friday before Memorial Day weekend we rushed to the cardiologist's office straight from the hospital with our 2 day old baby girl. After multiple visits and reviews, she was diagnosed and we followed up every month for a year, then every few months, eventually getting to annual reviews and now she is cleared for a few years at a time.
Then I got pregnant with #2, and my OB sent me to the same group for a fetal echocardiogram. The test came back a-ok, however when baby girl #2 was a few years old, they heard a murmur so off we went and she was cleared having only a simple murmur with no defect. Same office for the fetal echo for #3, all clear and so far, he has been a-ok.
Fetal echo for #4 was a wreck. She had a number of issues that showed up, her pulmonary valve was not correct, there was regurgitation, she had an abnormal rhythm and we had a number of rechecks. When she was born, they gave her an echo and she was diagnosed with a "funky pulmonary valve" basically it was working but formed a bit strange. At 6 months old, she was rechecked and it looked like the valve had corrected and we only needed to come back if her murmur could still be heard at 18 months old.
Fast forward to today. We were in the doctor's office for Finn's 4 month check, Teagan needed shots that we had delayed from her 18 month check up since she was sick and Haven was getting meds for reflux that she gets from her other meds. Doc gave Finn the once over and then asked me to hold him so she could listen again, and I knew right then and there....murmur. Yep she is hearing a murmur on him and it is changing based on his position, sure sign of a defect of some kind. I then remembered we forgot to check Teagan's heart at her 18 month since she was sick and sure enough, she is still loud and clear. So, back to the cardiologist we go to get Finn and Teagan checked out next month.
I am sure it is all going to be fine, we love our cardiologists and trust them immensely and of course we are thankful every day that what we deal with is minor compared to what so many others do. I do, however, recommend that they revisit some statistics. I was told that the likelihood I would have a child with any heart defect was 25% because I have a CHD....but we are now at 80%. Thinking Gray will get a once over too while we are going, lets see if we are 5 for 5.
Then I got pregnant with #2, and my OB sent me to the same group for a fetal echocardiogram. The test came back a-ok, however when baby girl #2 was a few years old, they heard a murmur so off we went and she was cleared having only a simple murmur with no defect. Same office for the fetal echo for #3, all clear and so far, he has been a-ok.
Fetal echo for #4 was a wreck. She had a number of issues that showed up, her pulmonary valve was not correct, there was regurgitation, she had an abnormal rhythm and we had a number of rechecks. When she was born, they gave her an echo and she was diagnosed with a "funky pulmonary valve" basically it was working but formed a bit strange. At 6 months old, she was rechecked and it looked like the valve had corrected and we only needed to come back if her murmur could still be heard at 18 months old.
Fast forward to today. We were in the doctor's office for Finn's 4 month check, Teagan needed shots that we had delayed from her 18 month check up since she was sick and Haven was getting meds for reflux that she gets from her other meds. Doc gave Finn the once over and then asked me to hold him so she could listen again, and I knew right then and there....murmur. Yep she is hearing a murmur on him and it is changing based on his position, sure sign of a defect of some kind. I then remembered we forgot to check Teagan's heart at her 18 month since she was sick and sure enough, she is still loud and clear. So, back to the cardiologist we go to get Finn and Teagan checked out next month.
I am sure it is all going to be fine, we love our cardiologists and trust them immensely and of course we are thankful every day that what we deal with is minor compared to what so many others do. I do, however, recommend that they revisit some statistics. I was told that the likelihood I would have a child with any heart defect was 25% because I have a CHD....but we are now at 80%. Thinking Gray will get a once over too while we are going, lets see if we are 5 for 5.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Falling into place
what a change from falling apart!
As a mom of a bunch of kids, you never know what each day will hold. It could be awesome, it could suck, it could change on a dime, but you never, ever, expect that the entire day will go well, it just doesn't happen.
Today it did, and it came at the perfect time and made me feel fanfreakentastic. Baby has been sick and I did not sleep last night but I was bound and determined to make it through the day. Somehow, magically, we made it out the door on time and with everything we needed for the day...ok, not THAT magically, hubby did bring me home a huge coffee. Got everyone loaded up including a little Finn who seemed pretty happy again and made it to the pool on time. Walking in a lady commented on how I got them all there on time...weird since it was 11 am, I sure as hell hope we have it together by 11 am!
Big kids had great swim lessons, Grayson's was one on one, Brittan's was two on one and Haven's was three on one, LOVE the small groups! Babies and I sat there sweating while the biggies did their thing and then we were back in the car. Surprised the kids with lunch at Friendly's and of course we HAD to have ice cream! Then back in the car again with a quick run through the Starbucks drive through to keep the mama energy up and off we went to the kid's Fine Arts Festival. Made the rounds there, then back into the car to bring the very tired and very crabby troops home. I even got my work done and ran to the grocery store and got home in time to hustle the kids upstairs so the hubby could get online to start work at 7. It was a good day, a really good day, and tomorrow the husband is off and will work on the demolished bathroom, yippee!
As a mom of a bunch of kids, you never know what each day will hold. It could be awesome, it could suck, it could change on a dime, but you never, ever, expect that the entire day will go well, it just doesn't happen.
Today it did, and it came at the perfect time and made me feel fanfreakentastic. Baby has been sick and I did not sleep last night but I was bound and determined to make it through the day. Somehow, magically, we made it out the door on time and with everything we needed for the day...ok, not THAT magically, hubby did bring me home a huge coffee. Got everyone loaded up including a little Finn who seemed pretty happy again and made it to the pool on time. Walking in a lady commented on how I got them all there on time...weird since it was 11 am, I sure as hell hope we have it together by 11 am!
Big kids had great swim lessons, Grayson's was one on one, Brittan's was two on one and Haven's was three on one, LOVE the small groups! Babies and I sat there sweating while the biggies did their thing and then we were back in the car. Surprised the kids with lunch at Friendly's and of course we HAD to have ice cream! Then back in the car again with a quick run through the Starbucks drive through to keep the mama energy up and off we went to the kid's Fine Arts Festival. Made the rounds there, then back into the car to bring the very tired and very crabby troops home. I even got my work done and ran to the grocery store and got home in time to hustle the kids upstairs so the hubby could get online to start work at 7. It was a good day, a really good day, and tomorrow the husband is off and will work on the demolished bathroom, yippee!
Friday, April 1, 2011
There is nothing sadder then a sick baby
My poor little Finny, he is really not feeling well. The doctor told us it was just a cold, but he sounded worse last night and was up coughing quite a bit. Today he slept a lot and when he was up all he did was cry and cough which is not like him, he is usually super happy and easy going. Poor baby would wail and hack, wail and hack. A friend stopped by tonight and I had her feel his chest and she could feel the congestion too. My biggest concern is RSV or Pertussis, we vaccinate on an alternate schedule but he did have his first DTaP shot because of the recent outbreaks, but it probably would not protect him enough. RSV he could just get. He is eating OK and no real fever, occasionally low grade, but if he sounds just as bad tomorrow I am taking him back to the doctor to be safe, you don't want to mess about with a barely 4 month old baby.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
I am a machine baby
Today was C R A Z Y! After getting the three big kiddos off to school I nursed Finn and we were off to the doctor. Thankfully he just has a wicked cold, and we have his well check on Monday so they will double check him just to make sure he is a-ok. After the doc, I loaded Teagan and Finn back in the car with a plan to go to Target, buy a coffee at Starbucks and meander about checking out the wares. When I called the hubby to tell him the good news about Finn, he informed me that the switches he bought to fix the light that crapped out last night in our only usable bathroom weren't going to work. He was going all fancy and trying to put in a motion sensor light since our kids are allergic to turning the bathroom light off but the old wiring we have just wouldn't work. He asked that I get a new switch at Target and hurry home...bye bye meandering time. Of course Target did not have the switch, so I loaded the babies back into the car after grabbing what we needed and headed to Lowes where I got the switch. On the way home I realized I forgot to buy lasagna noodles, you know, for the lasagna I was making for dinner. Drove home, threw the switch at the husband and then headed back out with two babies to the grocery store. Let's just say I walked into the store with happy babies and out with crying babies. We ran home, I threw some lunch at Teagan and nursed Finn and Teagan has been passed out for over 2 hours and Finn napped and I made a veggie lasagna and a meat lasagna. Just have some cleaning to do today and have to grab Haven from the mural painting club, and hoping for some good sleep tonight.
Tomorrow should be fun, we are having some friends for lunch so Teagan will get to play and I will get to chat with another grownup :)
Tomorrow should be fun, we are having some friends for lunch so Teagan will get to play and I will get to chat with another grownup :)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Follow up...
Thank you for those of you who expressed that you too are a tad crazy...nice to know I am not alone. Being a mom is a tough job, and can be overwhelming on the best day, so it is always nice to know we all lose our minds from time to time.
Today started rough when we found out the dog peed on the brand new rug I bought for the foyer. Seriously, I bought it on Friday after braving dinner out alone with all five kids and a trip to Target, that is so not the anointing I wanted. It helped that I took the husband's car to work so I could plug my phone in and blast music. It helped a lot. On my way home I stopped at the pet store to get something to clean the rug and the sweet cashier flashed me a smile and cheerfully asked me how my day was going as she scanned the bottle of Urine B Gone, seriously who could be having a great day AND be buying Urine B Gone?? Silly cashier.
Got home and had a good evening with the kiddos. Husband left for work and the sitter stayed until bedtime which made the evening rush a little less stressful and I managed to get a little down time. We did have some excitement since currently two of the three bathrooms are being renovated, the kids and I only have the one half bath to use and of course the lights blew and even with new bulbs it won't work so we pee by flashlight now. I cannot wait to have our bathrooms back!
Tomorrow I need to bring Finn to the doctor since he is still sick and needs to be checked out, and then I need to start planning the summer garden stuff. Still on the fence about chickens...should we get them??
Today started rough when we found out the dog peed on the brand new rug I bought for the foyer. Seriously, I bought it on Friday after braving dinner out alone with all five kids and a trip to Target, that is so not the anointing I wanted. It helped that I took the husband's car to work so I could plug my phone in and blast music. It helped a lot. On my way home I stopped at the pet store to get something to clean the rug and the sweet cashier flashed me a smile and cheerfully asked me how my day was going as she scanned the bottle of Urine B Gone, seriously who could be having a great day AND be buying Urine B Gone?? Silly cashier.
Got home and had a good evening with the kiddos. Husband left for work and the sitter stayed until bedtime which made the evening rush a little less stressful and I managed to get a little down time. We did have some excitement since currently two of the three bathrooms are being renovated, the kids and I only have the one half bath to use and of course the lights blew and even with new bulbs it won't work so we pee by flashlight now. I cannot wait to have our bathrooms back!
Tomorrow I need to bring Finn to the doctor since he is still sick and needs to be checked out, and then I need to start planning the summer garden stuff. Still on the fence about chickens...should we get them??
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sometimes you just have to scream!
I have been married just over 11 years and I have never hidden the fact that it has not always been easy. See here is the thing, I am crazy. Yep, crazy and I fully admit it to anyone and everyone. I have wicked OCD and anxiety. I have loads of baggage, I think my mother hates me or at the very least is disappointed in me, I have trust issues and I am the classic overachiever to a fault. I work FT at the online school, PT at the onground school, I have five kids, I am writing my dissertation, I work and clean constantly and I am perpetually exhausted, and it is my own fault. I remember the days when I had down time, I remember that I would relax, but I just cannot anymore because I have too much going on. In fact, I am thankful for my crazy most days because without the OCD I couldn't juggle it all.
But here is the downside...there is a breaking point. Once I hit the point of being too tired or too overwhelmed, all the OCDish anxiety stuff that I have been managing, like ignoring the mess in the playroom or the wall that needs to be painted or the bathroom that has been disabled for a year (OK that one is hard to overlook most days) and it all falls apart. I lose my mind, I feel it all falling on me, I cannot prioritize, I cannot figure out how to get out from under the mental pile and get a plan, and without a plan I am one lost soul.
The last few days I have been here, in this wacky crazy anxiety driven hell and it totally sucks. Add to it that Finn is sick and has a yucky cough and some serious digestive issues and I am not sleeping at all and there were two days where I needed to nap and didn't and well, I fell apart today and my husband got the brunt of it. To be fair, the bathroom is his issue, he started it and then left it. I don't have time to outline his baggage, but lets just say that starting and abandoning is part of his family tree so when he gets stressed about a task and I am a raving lunatic he just stops doing it, and yes it is as infuriating as you think.
So I melted and cried and screamed and my super awesome neighbor picked me up and let me steal a smoke from her even though I must have looked nuts running barefoot into the street flailing as she drove by, but she still picked me up and I vented and smoked that awesome smoke and felt calmer walking in the door. So what did I get for all my hysterics? Two, yes TWO bathrooms with no floors. *sigh* Thankfully the kid's bathroom is just in progress, hubby removed the existing floors and vanity and will lay a new subfloor tomorrow and a new bathroom floor and then install the new vanity that is waiting in the garage. Then next week the new playroom carpet is going in and then his one and only job is to FIX MY BATHROOM. Thank God today is over...
But here is the downside...there is a breaking point. Once I hit the point of being too tired or too overwhelmed, all the OCDish anxiety stuff that I have been managing, like ignoring the mess in the playroom or the wall that needs to be painted or the bathroom that has been disabled for a year (OK that one is hard to overlook most days) and it all falls apart. I lose my mind, I feel it all falling on me, I cannot prioritize, I cannot figure out how to get out from under the mental pile and get a plan, and without a plan I am one lost soul.
The last few days I have been here, in this wacky crazy anxiety driven hell and it totally sucks. Add to it that Finn is sick and has a yucky cough and some serious digestive issues and I am not sleeping at all and there were two days where I needed to nap and didn't and well, I fell apart today and my husband got the brunt of it. To be fair, the bathroom is his issue, he started it and then left it. I don't have time to outline his baggage, but lets just say that starting and abandoning is part of his family tree so when he gets stressed about a task and I am a raving lunatic he just stops doing it, and yes it is as infuriating as you think.
So I melted and cried and screamed and my super awesome neighbor picked me up and let me steal a smoke from her even though I must have looked nuts running barefoot into the street flailing as she drove by, but she still picked me up and I vented and smoked that awesome smoke and felt calmer walking in the door. So what did I get for all my hysterics? Two, yes TWO bathrooms with no floors. *sigh* Thankfully the kid's bathroom is just in progress, hubby removed the existing floors and vanity and will lay a new subfloor tomorrow and a new bathroom floor and then install the new vanity that is waiting in the garage. Then next week the new playroom carpet is going in and then his one and only job is to FIX MY BATHROOM. Thank God today is over...
Monday, March 28, 2011
Who me slack?
Life is crazy busy, busy and cold, it is also wicked cold for the end of March.
I am now seeing how raising five kids is a full time job, and what sucks is I also have a full time job, plus a part time job, plus school. I am wiped the hell out, but I am trekking along. I have a work trip in three weeks and while it is a bit of a drive I am looking forward to the quiet time in the car. I am also looking forward to seeing other grownups, eating a hot meal and sleeping all alone in a dark room....heaven I tell you! I am hoping the three days away will bring me back recharged. Once I return, I only have a few more weeks at PT school and then we are on summer break which will be very, very nice.
Adding to my misery is the fact that my darling husband has picked up an OT shift for every short week in April, so that is three OT shifts that month....it will be a long month. May looks to be quiet, just kid activities, and then June we have the trip to NH and a potential trip to NC, then my ass will be here in VA until we head to Disney in the Fall.
Speaking of Fall, I am stepping down to one class at PT school. It is a senior level class, and meets twice a week but only for an hour and fifteen minutes and in the middle of the day. I need to finagle the childcare for Thursdays, but Tuesday Ryan is home and I will be back before the big kids return from school which is awesome. Stepping down is hard, especially since I like the extra cash, but it is necessary. Currently I have almost 100 students a term at PT school, for this class it will be about 25, much easier to manage along with my other commitments. I am hoping this provides me the extra time to be with the kids and work on my dissertation.
I am now seeing how raising five kids is a full time job, and what sucks is I also have a full time job, plus a part time job, plus school. I am wiped the hell out, but I am trekking along. I have a work trip in three weeks and while it is a bit of a drive I am looking forward to the quiet time in the car. I am also looking forward to seeing other grownups, eating a hot meal and sleeping all alone in a dark room....heaven I tell you! I am hoping the three days away will bring me back recharged. Once I return, I only have a few more weeks at PT school and then we are on summer break which will be very, very nice.
Adding to my misery is the fact that my darling husband has picked up an OT shift for every short week in April, so that is three OT shifts that month....it will be a long month. May looks to be quiet, just kid activities, and then June we have the trip to NH and a potential trip to NC, then my ass will be here in VA until we head to Disney in the Fall.
Speaking of Fall, I am stepping down to one class at PT school. It is a senior level class, and meets twice a week but only for an hour and fifteen minutes and in the middle of the day. I need to finagle the childcare for Thursdays, but Tuesday Ryan is home and I will be back before the big kids return from school which is awesome. Stepping down is hard, especially since I like the extra cash, but it is necessary. Currently I have almost 100 students a term at PT school, for this class it will be about 25, much easier to manage along with my other commitments. I am hoping this provides me the extra time to be with the kids and work on my dissertation.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Thursday already?
There is something about lack of sleep that makes all the days kind of mesh together.
I am currently sleep deprived on a level that is dangerous and I am shocked that somehow I am still left alone with little people, lighters and a stove. I need Finn to sleep on his own while NOT nursing during the night, that is 11 pm-6 am or so. Currently he naps awesome on his own. Sleeps like a champ from 7-11 pm and then something goes all Hulk in him and he starts screaming and clawing until I nurse him. This begins at round 11 pm and goes until 5 am, and yes, he wants to nurse that whole time and always in some weird position so I can't even sleep through it. Guess what time I fell asleep last night...go ahead and guess.....if you said 10:45 you hit the nail on the head. Guess what time Finn was up, yeppers, 11. I went back to sleep at 5:30 and Haven was kind enough to wake me at 6 am when she got up. Sweet.
Then I planned my whole afternoon around a nap, and I am NOT a napper. I worked, I had a neighbor over, I fed Teagan and planned her nap time. I also had the dishwasher repair guy scheduled for 8-12, but he never came, NEVER even after I waited and held Teagan's nap! Jerk. So now she went down late and is snoozing, Finn is snoozing and I am on the phone with Sears for the 4th time ripping them a new one.
I am currently sleep deprived on a level that is dangerous and I am shocked that somehow I am still left alone with little people, lighters and a stove. I need Finn to sleep on his own while NOT nursing during the night, that is 11 pm-6 am or so. Currently he naps awesome on his own. Sleeps like a champ from 7-11 pm and then something goes all Hulk in him and he starts screaming and clawing until I nurse him. This begins at round 11 pm and goes until 5 am, and yes, he wants to nurse that whole time and always in some weird position so I can't even sleep through it. Guess what time I fell asleep last night...go ahead and guess.....if you said 10:45 you hit the nail on the head. Guess what time Finn was up, yeppers, 11. I went back to sleep at 5:30 and Haven was kind enough to wake me at 6 am when she got up. Sweet.
Then I planned my whole afternoon around a nap, and I am NOT a napper. I worked, I had a neighbor over, I fed Teagan and planned her nap time. I also had the dishwasher repair guy scheduled for 8-12, but he never came, NEVER even after I waited and held Teagan's nap! Jerk. So now she went down late and is snoozing, Finn is snoozing and I am on the phone with Sears for the 4th time ripping them a new one.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Too tired for pictures
We got home tonight from a quick jaunt to Williamsburg/Jamestown/Yorktown for two days. We had planned to go to Great Wolf Lodge, but my kids asked to go to Williamsburg instead the little crazies! I mean, what kids turn down the indoor water park for history? Mine and I couldn't be happier.
We got up early Sunday and headed to IHOP for a big breakfast to fill our bellies. We then started the drive down but needed to make a stop to change and feed Finn who was not on the same schedule as the rest of us. Got down south and went straight to Jamestown where the kids had a blast. We also made it to the glassblowers which was a huge treat and I got a starfish like the one we saw the glassblower making and Ryan surprised me with some beautiful green glass pieces that plan to set out on a tray in our newly designed bedroom. We then headed over to our hotel, well condo really, which incidentally my family stayed at the weekend my sister graduated from William & Mary (and the weekend Julia my cousin's daughter was born!) We checked in and it was AMAZING. Three levels, plenty of space for the kids, kitchen, living and dining room, additional living room space upstairs, it was awesome, and the best part was it cost us under 85 dollars for the night. We got settled and then located a place for dinner, which incidentally was located right by Great Wolf Lodge. Then we stopped at a grocer store to grab food for breakfast and I went back to work, but the internet wasn't working and there was an issue with a firewall and time ticked on and well, I ended up driving over to the business center at 11 pm to get the work done. Slept not so great since Teagan and Finn were up and down, but morning came and we were off and running.
Today we headed to Williamsburg in the morning, had a delicious sandwich at the Cheese Shop in honor of my sister, and walked around checking things out. After Williamsburg we headed to the Yankee Candle store which was crazy fun. Kids dipped candles, there was a place in the building where it snowed, there was an animatronic show and a mini Dylan's Candy Bar. They even had retired scents and I scored my favorite, Country Linen. I think we spent almost two hours at the store alone checking it out!
Then we were off to Yorktown which was much smaller than Jamestown but still fun. We saw a cool artillery display where they shot the cannon and it was LOUD. Visit the farm on site and got to meet some turkeys. Finally the day was done and we loaded up and headed home.
We had so much fun and there was so much more that we want to do, so I think I will surprise the kids with another trip down either this summer or next fall. It was busy, and tiring, but the kids had fun and it was well worth taking a day off from school for the kids to experience history. Pics to come tomorrow after I get some sleep!
We got up early Sunday and headed to IHOP for a big breakfast to fill our bellies. We then started the drive down but needed to make a stop to change and feed Finn who was not on the same schedule as the rest of us. Got down south and went straight to Jamestown where the kids had a blast. We also made it to the glassblowers which was a huge treat and I got a starfish like the one we saw the glassblower making and Ryan surprised me with some beautiful green glass pieces that plan to set out on a tray in our newly designed bedroom. We then headed over to our hotel, well condo really, which incidentally my family stayed at the weekend my sister graduated from William & Mary (and the weekend Julia my cousin's daughter was born!) We checked in and it was AMAZING. Three levels, plenty of space for the kids, kitchen, living and dining room, additional living room space upstairs, it was awesome, and the best part was it cost us under 85 dollars for the night. We got settled and then located a place for dinner, which incidentally was located right by Great Wolf Lodge. Then we stopped at a grocer store to grab food for breakfast and I went back to work, but the internet wasn't working and there was an issue with a firewall and time ticked on and well, I ended up driving over to the business center at 11 pm to get the work done. Slept not so great since Teagan and Finn were up and down, but morning came and we were off and running.
Today we headed to Williamsburg in the morning, had a delicious sandwich at the Cheese Shop in honor of my sister, and walked around checking things out. After Williamsburg we headed to the Yankee Candle store which was crazy fun. Kids dipped candles, there was a place in the building where it snowed, there was an animatronic show and a mini Dylan's Candy Bar. They even had retired scents and I scored my favorite, Country Linen. I think we spent almost two hours at the store alone checking it out!
Then we were off to Yorktown which was much smaller than Jamestown but still fun. We saw a cool artillery display where they shot the cannon and it was LOUD. Visit the farm on site and got to meet some turkeys. Finally the day was done and we loaded up and headed home.
We had so much fun and there was so much more that we want to do, so I think I will surprise the kids with another trip down either this summer or next fall. It was busy, and tiring, but the kids had fun and it was well worth taking a day off from school for the kids to experience history. Pics to come tomorrow after I get some sleep!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Living honestly
So I have been reviewing some of my old posts and back in August/September I talked a lot about changing paths, living for myself, focusing on my family and letting the negative people and things go. In looking over these last seven months, I am happy that I have stuck to that plan even though it wasn't always easy. I have reached out and made new friends and connections. My life is no longer full of other people's drama and BS, instead I reserve my time for my own drama and BS :) My marriage is great, my kids are great, I feel like we are all on the same page and heading in the right direction. I feel good about myself and my choices, I feel no need to explain myself to others and I am especially happy to no longer allow others to cut me down under false pretenses. Life is good, it is peaceful and it is positive. Thankful every day for making those tough changes.
The Today Show made me drink
I saw on the Today Show that it is the parent' responsibility to teach their children how to drink responsibly. Ryan and I really don't drink much, alcoholism runs in the family on both sides, so we of course worry about the kids having issues with drinking in the future. So....we decided we just need to drink more, and I have to say, I am enjoying this "responsibility" We bought some really cute glasses, they are the size of juice glasses so perfect for a smaller mixed drink. I have fallen in love with sweet tea vodka mixed with lemon Italian soda, and I am planning to get some lemon syrup to add to our homemade seltzer and the vodka. I have probably one or two drinks a week around dinner time and think the kids are going to learn how to not binge drink or drink to get drunk...plus the liquor is relaxing. Now if only I could start to like wine more, for some reason I am not a huge fan. Oh well, I will work on teaching the responsible way to drink Pina Coladas and Margarita's come summer :)
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
How I spend my time off
As I said in an earlier post, we are supposed to be in Disney this week since I am on Spring Break, but stayed back because Gray had the stomach bug. No one else got the vomits, but there were some other issues going around the house and it was a good call especially since the babies and I had fevers most of the weekend.
After our big adventurous outing yesterday to get the church pew, I was not planning to do a lot of running around today, but that got switched up. Ryan had to get his car inspected and needed to go drop a paper off at his school, so the babies and I tagged along. After we dropped the car and paper, we decided to head to the farm since we needed milk and had put the order on hold this week. It was running close to lunch time and Teagan was getting grumpy and hungry so we decided Cracker Barrel was calling our name. Oh how I love Cracker Barrel! Teagan and I shared a big breakfast meal and Ry had a yummy burger and we were in and out super fast and back on the road where Teagie promptly passed out with a nice full belly.
After the farm run, I dropped Ryan off at Wegmans to go and get four things...FOUR...and almost forty minutes later he emerged with four BAGS. That is the curse of Weggies, you go in for one thing and come out with bags and bags of stuff, good stuff. We finally got home, I got diapers changed and fed Finn and started on a hearty dinner of chicken caccitore and polenta. Kids came in, we did the crazy afterschool shenanigans, I worked, babies were played with and we ate dinner. After dinner I had a treat planned for the kids. We got a new ice cream maker a few days ago and I had the core all frozen and ready to go, so we got the ingredients out and mixed up some chocolate ice cream with white chocolate chips. It was so good and the kids loved seeing it be made. This is the solution to the HFCS in ice cream, we are just going to make our own with good milk and cream from the farm and fresh ingredients. We can't wait until strawberry season to try our hands at strawberry ice cream.
Right now the kids are tucked in, the kitchen is cleaned up, well mostly cleaned up since I made some Irish soda bread that is baking and will be served for breakfast in the morning. I also packed the leftover chocolate ice cream up, washed the ice cream core and stashed it back in the freezer since I plan to make some special St. Patty's Day ice cream tomorrow for the kiddos. Hopefully we will have some friends coming over to indulge with us...and if you are a local pal, feel free to come by around 6:30 after all the corned beef and shepards pie has been eaten.
After our big adventurous outing yesterday to get the church pew, I was not planning to do a lot of running around today, but that got switched up. Ryan had to get his car inspected and needed to go drop a paper off at his school, so the babies and I tagged along. After we dropped the car and paper, we decided to head to the farm since we needed milk and had put the order on hold this week. It was running close to lunch time and Teagan was getting grumpy and hungry so we decided Cracker Barrel was calling our name. Oh how I love Cracker Barrel! Teagan and I shared a big breakfast meal and Ry had a yummy burger and we were in and out super fast and back on the road where Teagie promptly passed out with a nice full belly.
After the farm run, I dropped Ryan off at Wegmans to go and get four things...FOUR...and almost forty minutes later he emerged with four BAGS. That is the curse of Weggies, you go in for one thing and come out with bags and bags of stuff, good stuff. We finally got home, I got diapers changed and fed Finn and started on a hearty dinner of chicken caccitore and polenta. Kids came in, we did the crazy afterschool shenanigans, I worked, babies were played with and we ate dinner. After dinner I had a treat planned for the kids. We got a new ice cream maker a few days ago and I had the core all frozen and ready to go, so we got the ingredients out and mixed up some chocolate ice cream with white chocolate chips. It was so good and the kids loved seeing it be made. This is the solution to the HFCS in ice cream, we are just going to make our own with good milk and cream from the farm and fresh ingredients. We can't wait until strawberry season to try our hands at strawberry ice cream.
Right now the kids are tucked in, the kitchen is cleaned up, well mostly cleaned up since I made some Irish soda bread that is baking and will be served for breakfast in the morning. I also packed the leftover chocolate ice cream up, washed the ice cream core and stashed it back in the freezer since I plan to make some special St. Patty's Day ice cream tomorrow for the kiddos. Hopefully we will have some friends coming over to indulge with us...and if you are a local pal, feel free to come by around 6:30 after all the corned beef and shepards pie has been eaten.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I am starting my own church
OK, not really, but I did buy an awesome old church pew today. It is from an African American church in local historic town and is circa 1850, and it is so freakin awesome! It is going in our bedroom once I finish rearranging furniture and will eventually get a seat pad and some fun pillows to make a long bench under the windows on the front of the house. We also found a really cool dresser with a marble top from around the same era, but we were not totally in love with it so we are thinking it over. Redoing our bedroom has been so much fun, I wish we had done it sooner. Even though it isn't done yet, I am loving the results and love going upstairs to see everything we have been doing. I still need to get a dresser, a new floor lamp, under bed storage boxes and curtains and then I think I will take a few pictures :)
After our outing today, Ryan dropped the babies and I off to wait for the big kids and he headed back to get the pew since it wouldn't fit in the car with the babies in the back. While he was gone I went to switch laundry and found water dripping from the room above....the kid's bathroom that we are all using since mine is destroyed, ANYWAY, I got worried. Thankfully it appears that the children flooded the bathroom last time they showered and it was leaking down. After a lesson on how we avoid flooding the bathroom, Ryan and examined the damage and decided we need to get a new vanity and floor in that bathroom. So...I now need to get that into the schedule of "to-do's" It is a never ending list when you have a home and kids! Later this week I will book the playroom carpet installation, our bedroom is almost done, then we will get working on the outside and the kid's bathroom depending on weather. At least there is a plan!
After our outing today, Ryan dropped the babies and I off to wait for the big kids and he headed back to get the pew since it wouldn't fit in the car with the babies in the back. While he was gone I went to switch laundry and found water dripping from the room above....the kid's bathroom that we are all using since mine is destroyed, ANYWAY, I got worried. Thankfully it appears that the children flooded the bathroom last time they showered and it was leaking down. After a lesson on how we avoid flooding the bathroom, Ryan and examined the damage and decided we need to get a new vanity and floor in that bathroom. So...I now need to get that into the schedule of "to-do's" It is a never ending list when you have a home and kids! Later this week I will book the playroom carpet installation, our bedroom is almost done, then we will get working on the outside and the kid's bathroom depending on weather. At least there is a plan!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
It may not be Disney....
but this was a pretty good weekend.
Yesterday we began the heavy cleaning and purging that will be taking place here for the next few months. I had this corner of my living room where all my work stuff seemed to get dumped since I have no office and I finally went through and reorganized. We also did some good cleaning of the main level and I began to gather stuff to go into the new storage unit I just reserved...hooray!
Today the whole crazy lot of us got in the car and went to Ikea, on a Sunday, all of us, and it was OK! We got there later than planned since the whole time change thingy kind of screwed with us all, but we got there and went straight away to eat. We got more food than we could eat for under 30 bucks which is why Ikea rocks, plus I had some wicked yummy broccoli souffle like thing and Swedish meatballs...tasty. We traveled through ikea with only one major incidence of a kid needing to be yelled at, and a few minor "talking to's" but in the end we emerged triumphant and the kids even scored ice cream cones.
I am redoing our bedroom...scratch that...I am FINALLY getting real furniture and decorating our bedroom so that it no longer resembles a dorm room. I spend so much time up there in the evenings and at night when Ryan works that I want a nice, warm, comfortable space and for once have a little cash to spend on it. Today I bought a new bed and a new quilt and a million odds and ends like candles and sheets. I also have my eye on this chair in the Laxa blue cover...too cute! Now I am on the hunt for some good sturdy dressers I can refinish, hopefully tomorrow I will go to a few local thrift shops and find something that works. I cannot wait to have a cozy bedroom :)
Yesterday we began the heavy cleaning and purging that will be taking place here for the next few months. I had this corner of my living room where all my work stuff seemed to get dumped since I have no office and I finally went through and reorganized. We also did some good cleaning of the main level and I began to gather stuff to go into the new storage unit I just reserved...hooray!
Today the whole crazy lot of us got in the car and went to Ikea, on a Sunday, all of us, and it was OK! We got there later than planned since the whole time change thingy kind of screwed with us all, but we got there and went straight away to eat. We got more food than we could eat for under 30 bucks which is why Ikea rocks, plus I had some wicked yummy broccoli souffle like thing and Swedish meatballs...tasty. We traveled through ikea with only one major incidence of a kid needing to be yelled at, and a few minor "talking to's" but in the end we emerged triumphant and the kids even scored ice cream cones.
I am redoing our bedroom...scratch that...I am FINALLY getting real furniture and decorating our bedroom so that it no longer resembles a dorm room. I spend so much time up there in the evenings and at night when Ryan works that I want a nice, warm, comfortable space and for once have a little cash to spend on it. Today I bought a new bed and a new quilt and a million odds and ends like candles and sheets. I also have my eye on this chair in the Laxa blue cover...too cute! Now I am on the hunt for some good sturdy dressers I can refinish, hopefully tomorrow I will go to a few local thrift shops and find something that works. I cannot wait to have a cozy bedroom :)
Friday, March 11, 2011
Inside yourself
I had one of those moments today in the car, one of those innocent glimpses inside yourself when you just feel your own strength. They are fleeting, and they remind me a bit of the exhilaration of a new love and a first kiss. For me today it was simple moment. I had a good day at home with the babies and I was happy all day that my husband was home tonight to lend a hand. I made dinner and Ryan served it up as I walked out the door to run to the store. I was alone, blissfully alone, and grabbed some coffee for myself and donuts for the kids for later, then ran through the grocery store. On the ride home my mind wandered and I thought about the last year, the surprise of Finn, the changes in our family, the tears, the laughter and the joyful peace that came with people coming in as friends, and those we needed to leave behind as we moved on. I felt it well up as a favorite song came on the radio, the peaceful yet strong feeling from my gut that told me I was strong and I was fortunate and I was loved beyond measure. I felt such sweet inner peace, no questioning if I was a good wife and mother, no worry about bills or schedules, no concern over what any one else thought, I knew, at that moment, that I was OK with who I am.
As a mom and wife I often feel a little lost. I find myself trying to be the right thing, say the right thing, clean the right thing :) It is exhausting to worry about everything all the time, and there is a strange sense of peace knowing that tomorrow will still come even of you make a mistake. So I drove home to the kitchen that is still a wreck from dinner and while my big kids put away the groceries, Ryan held a sleeping baby and I put a tired little toddler to bed. Now they are all helping clean up, and I will finish my blog post, go in and dole out donuts and be thankful for all I have.
As a mom and wife I often feel a little lost. I find myself trying to be the right thing, say the right thing, clean the right thing :) It is exhausting to worry about everything all the time, and there is a strange sense of peace knowing that tomorrow will still come even of you make a mistake. So I drove home to the kitchen that is still a wreck from dinner and while my big kids put away the groceries, Ryan held a sleeping baby and I put a tired little toddler to bed. Now they are all helping clean up, and I will finish my blog post, go in and dole out donuts and be thankful for all I have.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
See ya real soon Mickey
So, I can share that we were supposed to leave for Disney Friday. We were set to drive down on Friday night and spend a week in Florida visiting the parks. The kids were excited. Ryan and I were excited. Today we canceled the trip.
Well, technically we rescheduled the trip. I had it all ready, new videos for the car ride, clothes laid out, we were set to go and then at 5 am Grayson started throwing up. As a mom to five kids, that is a bad sign of things to come. We live by the 72 hour rule of the stomach bug...usually the next kid goes down within 48-72 hours, which would put us in the car in the middle of the night on our way to Florida. He was sick for awhile, so our concern was one kid might get sick on the way down, then another the next day, another the next, etc. I can't think of anything that would be worse for a kid then being IN Orlando and right outside Disney and not be able to go to the parks. Ryan and I had to make a decision, and we went with postponing the trip. We are now set to go in October, and as a bonus my parents said they will also book and will come down to go with us and help. I am currently working on convincing my sister to come with her family, but they are probably not going to be able to come, but I will keep asking...daily :) We have a trip planned for June with the my parents and sister and our extended family to a cousin's graduation, and I am booking a trip to Great Wolf Lodge in the next two weeks to help the kids deal with missing Disney. They are sad, I am sad, but I am happy we can book in October, that my parents can come and that we are sneaking in a Great Wolf Lodge trip too...it could be worse.
Well, technically we rescheduled the trip. I had it all ready, new videos for the car ride, clothes laid out, we were set to go and then at 5 am Grayson started throwing up. As a mom to five kids, that is a bad sign of things to come. We live by the 72 hour rule of the stomach bug...usually the next kid goes down within 48-72 hours, which would put us in the car in the middle of the night on our way to Florida. He was sick for awhile, so our concern was one kid might get sick on the way down, then another the next day, another the next, etc. I can't think of anything that would be worse for a kid then being IN Orlando and right outside Disney and not be able to go to the parks. Ryan and I had to make a decision, and we went with postponing the trip. We are now set to go in October, and as a bonus my parents said they will also book and will come down to go with us and help. I am currently working on convincing my sister to come with her family, but they are probably not going to be able to come, but I will keep asking...daily :) We have a trip planned for June with the my parents and sister and our extended family to a cousin's graduation, and I am booking a trip to Great Wolf Lodge in the next two weeks to help the kids deal with missing Disney. They are sad, I am sad, but I am happy we can book in October, that my parents can come and that we are sneaking in a Great Wolf Lodge trip too...it could be worse.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Shameless promotion
OK, so being "that" mom here....BUT please vote for Teagie here
She is such a cute little witch!
Oh....and vote everyday pretty please!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Quiet
Not much to say lately, work is busy, kids are busy, house is busy, it is the same old same old around here which means we just fall into the groove and live. Still tired, but got a relatively down day today. Made a big Greek feast with Haven, then didn't get to eat since I am not feeling so hot. Did some grading, laid in bed some, basically tried for a quiet day.
We did have a family adventure yesterday. The whole crew went to the local RV show and it was really fun. Kids loved seeing, and climbing in, all the different types of RVs and campers. Ryan and I looked at a few that we are really considering for next summer, including one super cool one that had a loft! We would have bought the loft one on the spot since it was perfect for our family and a good price, except my truck couldn't quite pull it :( I am pretty sure I know what we are getting next year and we are all excited to be able to travel around with the camper. Financially we could have pulled it off this year, but our vacations are already planned and none were camping trips, so it really isn't needed until next year and I didn't want to buy it and then have it sit there for a year. After the RV show, we capped off the night with a dinner out. Kids were so well behaved, even Teagan who was up way past bedtime, and sweet Finn gave his tired mama a break and slept through the whole meal, it was great.
So, quiet here but a good kind of quiet.
We did have a family adventure yesterday. The whole crew went to the local RV show and it was really fun. Kids loved seeing, and climbing in, all the different types of RVs and campers. Ryan and I looked at a few that we are really considering for next summer, including one super cool one that had a loft! We would have bought the loft one on the spot since it was perfect for our family and a good price, except my truck couldn't quite pull it :( I am pretty sure I know what we are getting next year and we are all excited to be able to travel around with the camper. Financially we could have pulled it off this year, but our vacations are already planned and none were camping trips, so it really isn't needed until next year and I didn't want to buy it and then have it sit there for a year. After the RV show, we capped off the night with a dinner out. Kids were so well behaved, even Teagan who was up way past bedtime, and sweet Finn gave his tired mama a break and slept through the whole meal, it was great.
So, quiet here but a good kind of quiet.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
In spades
When people ask why we wanted a larger family, it can be so hard to explain. We clarify it isn't for religious reasons, nor are we a mixed family through remarriage, it isn't because we don't know "how it happens" and we aren't stupid or uneducated. We have a large family because.....well, because we just do! Did we plan on five kids, no. Are we thrilled to have them all, YES! I will fully admit that many days are long and hard, that it can be exhausting especially with both parents working, and good sleep is hard to come by. Financially you need to be frugal and smart, we live in a world where a stocked pantry, fridge, freezer, OTHER fridge and OTHER freezer is a necessity and still we somehow run out of things. The house gets messy in mere moments if everyone is home, and the volume level can rise in seconds if everyone is wound up and playing. It is worth it to us, the hard days, the long nights, the crazy schedules, because it is paid back to us in spades. I get more "I love yous" a day from my brood, kisses all day long, huge smiles when I walk in the room and long, tight hugs around my neck.
I am so happy with our family, I couldn't have picked a better group of people to call my own, and someday we hope to add to our group. Ryan and I want to move the family and when we do we want a home that not only fits our current family, but one that will fit our family of the future. We are seriously looking into adopting a child from Eastern Europe that has some medical issues. We hope that we can do this when Finn is around 3 or 4 and that the child we adopt will be around the same ages as Teagan and Finn as we believe this will help the child develop, being surrounded by healthy normally developing children of similar ages. At present we expect the child will have Down Syndrome as we know they are at greatest risk of being institutionalized and we feel very comfortable with the idea of dealing with some of the associated health concerns which include cardiac issues and seizure disorders. Did I ever think we would consider adopting an at risk child from another country? No, not until I was pregnant with Finn and realized what a gift we had in our ability to have and raise our kids, and that we would be able to take a child destined to live and die young in an institution and provide a better life. I feel secure that that child would be loved and cared for by our whole family, and that one of his/her siblings would step in and provide care when we were no longer alive or able to if needed. I love our big loud family, and I cannot wait to see how we change and grow over the next few years,
I am so happy with our family, I couldn't have picked a better group of people to call my own, and someday we hope to add to our group. Ryan and I want to move the family and when we do we want a home that not only fits our current family, but one that will fit our family of the future. We are seriously looking into adopting a child from Eastern Europe that has some medical issues. We hope that we can do this when Finn is around 3 or 4 and that the child we adopt will be around the same ages as Teagan and Finn as we believe this will help the child develop, being surrounded by healthy normally developing children of similar ages. At present we expect the child will have Down Syndrome as we know they are at greatest risk of being institutionalized and we feel very comfortable with the idea of dealing with some of the associated health concerns which include cardiac issues and seizure disorders. Did I ever think we would consider adopting an at risk child from another country? No, not until I was pregnant with Finn and realized what a gift we had in our ability to have and raise our kids, and that we would be able to take a child destined to live and die young in an institution and provide a better life. I feel secure that that child would be loved and cared for by our whole family, and that one of his/her siblings would step in and provide care when we were no longer alive or able to if needed. I love our big loud family, and I cannot wait to see how we change and grow over the next few years,
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
I am avoiding the beast
I am going to blog instead of write my dissertation. As of right now, I have bout 4 more pages plus the citation to do and Chapter 2 will be on its way for review. I think it is a good sign that I am seeing the same names show up in the articles I am reviewing, it makes me feel like I am on the right track. I have begun to call it the Beast, kind of like the character from Beauty and the Beast, kinda mean and dark, but with a good side, that is what I think about the dissertation. It is lovable in a mean and nasty kind of way :)
Had a nice morning, went and grabbed girl scout cookies and had a nice chat. Love me some girl scout cookies, so i have stashed them away and will use them as rewards for tackling the beast. After getting the cookies, I headed to meet a friend for a pedicure. SO worth it! Now I have pretty toes and a stash of cookies, wheeeee.
Right now Ryan and Teagan are on their way to the farm, I am finishing my lunch and will complete the section of the paper I am working on right now. I think after I do that, I will go back and do all my citations so all I have left is the final section which I will work on after dinner. Very very tired and I have a stack of stuff to grade, but once this chapter is sent off I will dedicate the end of the week to catching up on everything else. OK, back to taming the beast.
Had a nice morning, went and grabbed girl scout cookies and had a nice chat. Love me some girl scout cookies, so i have stashed them away and will use them as rewards for tackling the beast. After getting the cookies, I headed to meet a friend for a pedicure. SO worth it! Now I have pretty toes and a stash of cookies, wheeeee.
Right now Ryan and Teagan are on their way to the farm, I am finishing my lunch and will complete the section of the paper I am working on right now. I think after I do that, I will go back and do all my citations so all I have left is the final section which I will work on after dinner. Very very tired and I have a stack of stuff to grade, but once this chapter is sent off I will dedicate the end of the week to catching up on everything else. OK, back to taming the beast.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
watching our future hurtle towards us
Ryan and I have been wanting to move, for years. Review this blog and it is mentioned time and again, but with the housing market, babies being born, jobs, etc. it just hasn't happened yet. Now we are getting close, so close that I can feel it. We were thinking it would be about two years from now, so around summer 2013, possibly even summer 2014 depending on the housing market and our jobs, but that may change. Things are going well here, the debt is being paid off quicker than we expected which was something we wanted before we moved. The housing market still stinks, but there is a potential for upswing soon as a local military base gets a huge influx of people in September. The hubs is actively looking for new jobs, and one came up today that may be perfect and is within his company...he is applying and I am hoping it is a good fit. If Ryan gets a job making more money and at the other location we want here in VA, we may be able to move as early as next summer (2012). Our goal this summer is to purge and complete any projects we have around the house. We may not be able to sell next summer, but we should be able to rent out our house and we have found houses in the area we want to move to that are super cheap and have the land we want. They are smaller than we need, but we plan to expand the house or simply build a new one on the lot anyway, so we can make due for a few months if need be. I see our dream becoming a reality and we are getting excited! Hoping to make a trip up to see my sister soon and do a few drive bys of some potential areas we are interested in...I cannot believe we are so close!
Friday, February 25, 2011
very.very.tired
If I don't get a really good nights sleep tonight I may just got insane, like seriously insane. I can do almost everything in my life when exhausted, I can take care of kids, keep up with the house and do my job(s) but what I cannot do is concentrate on ridiculously boring articles in industry journals that I need to use to complete my lit review aka Chapter 2 of my dissertation. I simply cannot process the information let alone write anything based on the studies I am trying to read.
I had plans, big plans, to have this done and sent off by Sunday. I have my sitter coming tomorrow and my goal for when she is here was to do a final review, edit everything and be done...except the whole second half of the chapter is not done. *sigh*
I didn't sleep well last night, in fact I haven't slept well since Finn was 5 weeks old, before Ryan hurt his foot and my help disappeared. An hour nap once a week is not making up for the missing 5 hours of sleep each night and it is taking its toll on my writing. Add to that that Ryan worked an OT shift last week which was supposed to be the short week and he is also working an OT shift this week making our long week extra long. This also mean that I have no help until Tuesday, and I am not feeling it. I planned to get my work done this morning, nap when Teagan did and then write in the evening but the hubby decided today was the perfect day to sell his car which means he didn't sleep, my schedule for the day got screwed since I had to go get a replacement title (car was in my name) and the nap never happened. Ugh, I am done with today. I somehow managed to write a few more pages, and will force myself to finish one more section tonight and review a book I need for the next section. I will also accept that I cannot get it done by Sunday and that Tuesday night will just have to be good enough...thankfully my committee isn't putting the pressure on me.
I had plans, big plans, to have this done and sent off by Sunday. I have my sitter coming tomorrow and my goal for when she is here was to do a final review, edit everything and be done...except the whole second half of the chapter is not done. *sigh*
I didn't sleep well last night, in fact I haven't slept well since Finn was 5 weeks old, before Ryan hurt his foot and my help disappeared. An hour nap once a week is not making up for the missing 5 hours of sleep each night and it is taking its toll on my writing. Add to that that Ryan worked an OT shift last week which was supposed to be the short week and he is also working an OT shift this week making our long week extra long. This also mean that I have no help until Tuesday, and I am not feeling it. I planned to get my work done this morning, nap when Teagan did and then write in the evening but the hubby decided today was the perfect day to sell his car which means he didn't sleep, my schedule for the day got screwed since I had to go get a replacement title (car was in my name) and the nap never happened. Ugh, I am done with today. I somehow managed to write a few more pages, and will force myself to finish one more section tonight and review a book I need for the next section. I will also accept that I cannot get it done by Sunday and that Tuesday night will just have to be good enough...thankfully my committee isn't putting the pressure on me.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
I am rocking today!
I have been super productive today. Got the big girls off to their before school activity, came home with the other three and got some work work done, then drove back to school to drop Gray off. Got in touch with DMV since we are selling a car and had a question, finished all my work work, vacuumed, switched laundry, put some clothes away, did the dishes, made some sweet dinner rolls that are on their second rise, washed, peeled and cut the sweet potatoes for dinner tonight and cooked up some bacon (we are having bacon cheeseburger mini muffin meatloafs-kids LOVE them). Teagan is napping and I am about to write some more of the dissertation while also eating lunch. Tonight Haven has dance so I will bathe Teagie and Finn before dinner and also send Gray and Britt through showers, Haven will shower when we get home. I have been trying to do the Wii Fit three times a week for a half hour, I did it yesterday but will jump on tonight if I have time. I wish every day I could feel this accomplished :)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Writers Block
I am struggling with writing my dissertation and I am not sure why. I love my topic, I am passionate about it and I am anxious to get to the stage where I get to gather actual data. My prospectus is approved, my first chapter is completed and approved. Right now I am knee deep in Chapter 2, my literature review, and I anticipate it being about 25 pages when completed. Twenty-five pages is nothing for me to write, I have written longer papers in a weekend, but for some reason I am struggling. Right now I am almost done with the first half, and I need to finish the entire chapter by the end of the week to submit to my chair for review. I know I am 1/5 of the way there with Chapter 1 done, and once I send off Chapter 2 there will be edits and changes, but for the most part I will quickly be approaching 2/5 of the way, but still I sit here and blog and not write. Ugh.
Monday, February 21, 2011
True self
Do you ever feel lost, like you forgot who you were? I think for mother's this can be a problem as we constantly have to do for everyone else. We need to nurture, love and care for our kids, and we need to help our husband, support him, love him and be his friend. All too often we forget to care for ourselves and become the things we do for our families. Now, we love our families I know, and we want to do for them, but I sometimes see me slipping away to be what they need and expect. It is always hardest for me after new baby is born, I am their sole caregiver, I am their source of nutrition, they sleep with me, and I am with them constantly with the exception of when I go to PT gig twice a week. I get lost in that role, and it can cause me stress because sometimes I need what makes me happy, what soothes me, what makes me feel like my true self. I really believe it is important for moms to be authentic and true to themselves, but I struggle sometimes to do that and it can be an internal battle.
Today my husband made me a CD of a band I love and he loaded the songs on my laptop. I forgot how much I need music after having a baby, how I love to put it on in the afternoons and dance with my babies and feel like myself again.. On my way in to PT school, I listened to that CD and I sang loud and long, and I felt reconnected to my true self. I am stopping caring what others think. I am learning to breathe deep. I am loving the gift of every day. I am singing loud again.
Today my husband made me a CD of a band I love and he loaded the songs on my laptop. I forgot how much I need music after having a baby, how I love to put it on in the afternoons and dance with my babies and feel like myself again.. On my way in to PT school, I listened to that CD and I sang loud and long, and I felt reconnected to my true self. I am stopping caring what others think. I am learning to breathe deep. I am loving the gift of every day. I am singing loud again.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
I want...
So, all day long people tell me what they want so I decided to list what I want.
I want:
to sleep until I wake up, in a dark room, ALONE
I want to go out to a fancy restaurant with my husband and enjoy a leisurely meal without feeling like we need to rush home for some reason
I want to move to a place where all I see is gorgeous nature outside my window and where I can grow tons of fruit and veg and have farm animals
I want to have only one job, and be done with school
I want my kids to speak kindly to each other and not yell
I want a whole day off to lounge in bed, watch movies and eat junk food...and then not have to deal with the aftermath
I want to see the joy in every day, even on the hard days
I want my kids to be happy, to have good days and big dreams, and to be healthy and well both physically and emotionally
I want to go to sleep...OK this one I can do right now, NIGHT!
I want:
to sleep until I wake up, in a dark room, ALONE
I want to go out to a fancy restaurant with my husband and enjoy a leisurely meal without feeling like we need to rush home for some reason
I want to move to a place where all I see is gorgeous nature outside my window and where I can grow tons of fruit and veg and have farm animals
I want to have only one job, and be done with school
I want my kids to speak kindly to each other and not yell
I want a whole day off to lounge in bed, watch movies and eat junk food...and then not have to deal with the aftermath
I want to see the joy in every day, even on the hard days
I want my kids to be happy, to have good days and big dreams, and to be healthy and well both physically and emotionally
I want to go to sleep...OK this one I can do right now, NIGHT!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Emotional Smackdown
Anyone who has a kid with any kind of issue spends their life watching and waiting. You second guess choices you made, you analyze your child and watch how they act, talk, behave, etc. It is an exhausting process and often frightening as you watch your child grow and you try to adapt.
For us, our journey into the grand unknown started early with Haven, when she was only two days old. That was the day the pediatrician came in and told us that her heart sounded funny and we were being released to head straight to the cardiologist. While still reeling from her cardiac diagnosis, we found that she had severe reflux. A year went by and she never outgrew the reflux and we took many trips to the gastroenterologist to determine the issues with her stomach. She was anemic. She wasn't gaining weight. She never crawled but walked at 9 months and spoke in full sentences around the same time. She was a precocious speaker early on, we found it cute. At 18 months she reacted to a cake with almonds in it, we stopped all nuts but continued to feed her stone fruits not knowing any better. At age five we took her to the allergist where she went into shock during her skin test and I stood there and watched her vomiting and losing her breath, walking way too close to death before my eyes. We learned what not to feed her, took a deep breath and sent her to kindergarten so she could grow and learn. But she didn't learn. She struggled to read. She struggled to write. By the summer before third grade she had become so internalized and behaved so strangely that we thought she had a brain tumor, but the neurologist discovered she had epilepsy. We started meds and she seemed better, she was learning and functioning but struggled to process the vast amount of information she was now receiving, so we began meds for ADHD. She was better, she began to excel in school, she caught up and passed grade level in many subjects and still struggled in others, but still problems remained, different problems.
We know, deep down inside, that there is something more going on. Haven knows too since she tells us how she feels and what she sees going on around her. We had hoped that these quirks were leftover from the years of seizures, in fact I still hold onto that hope, but I also know that every time I suspected something, I was right, and this is one time I don't want to be right. So we begin again, we make the calls and we document everything and we start on a brand new path, because our goal has never changed. When we are done raising her and send her into the world, she will be a respectable and responsible adult, she will be able to provide and care for herself and she will have people in her life that love and care for her and that she loves and cares for. We will make it.
For us, our journey into the grand unknown started early with Haven, when she was only two days old. That was the day the pediatrician came in and told us that her heart sounded funny and we were being released to head straight to the cardiologist. While still reeling from her cardiac diagnosis, we found that she had severe reflux. A year went by and she never outgrew the reflux and we took many trips to the gastroenterologist to determine the issues with her stomach. She was anemic. She wasn't gaining weight. She never crawled but walked at 9 months and spoke in full sentences around the same time. She was a precocious speaker early on, we found it cute. At 18 months she reacted to a cake with almonds in it, we stopped all nuts but continued to feed her stone fruits not knowing any better. At age five we took her to the allergist where she went into shock during her skin test and I stood there and watched her vomiting and losing her breath, walking way too close to death before my eyes. We learned what not to feed her, took a deep breath and sent her to kindergarten so she could grow and learn. But she didn't learn. She struggled to read. She struggled to write. By the summer before third grade she had become so internalized and behaved so strangely that we thought she had a brain tumor, but the neurologist discovered she had epilepsy. We started meds and she seemed better, she was learning and functioning but struggled to process the vast amount of information she was now receiving, so we began meds for ADHD. She was better, she began to excel in school, she caught up and passed grade level in many subjects and still struggled in others, but still problems remained, different problems.
We know, deep down inside, that there is something more going on. Haven knows too since she tells us how she feels and what she sees going on around her. We had hoped that these quirks were leftover from the years of seizures, in fact I still hold onto that hope, but I also know that every time I suspected something, I was right, and this is one time I don't want to be right. So we begin again, we make the calls and we document everything and we start on a brand new path, because our goal has never changed. When we are done raising her and send her into the world, she will be a respectable and responsible adult, she will be able to provide and care for herself and she will have people in her life that love and care for her and that she loves and cares for. We will make it.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Unapproved experimentation
I believe I fell prey to one of the Devil's pre-launch tests of a new level of hell, this one designed for heathens of a mothering persuasion. I know that it was the big D's work because of the way everything fell into place to lead me into the experiment, I am on to him.
First there was a ridiculous deal on 5 lb bags of organic potatoes at Quail Cove, so I of course bought two. Note that my husband does not eat white potatoes, so that puts 10 lbs of potatoes on me and the kids, hmmm. Then today I decided to make a dent in those potatoes and make gnocchi. I believe this happened as a result of the truly awesome day I had with the babies yesterday and my judgment was obviously clouded by those events. Then I decided to only boil the potatoes while the babies napped and thought I could put Finn in his swing and have Teagan stay in baby jail while I made the gnocchi, after nap, while in charge of the babies, with no one else here as backup.
Gnocchi, for those who have never made it or eaten it, is a potato based pasta. It is simple to make the dough, but it is the stickiest substance on earth..seriously. In addition, there are a bunch of steps needed to make gnocchi, boil potatoes, whip potatoes in mixer, add flour, eggs and seasoning and then roll dough into snakes and cut into small pieces that you that you then roll off the back of a fork to create ridges, in each and every one. It is also a mess maker, the gnocchi maker and the kitchen will be covered in flour and dough, it is inevitable.
I have made gnocchi a bunch of times before, however never enough to feed six people and never while alone with an 18 month old and 2 month old in my care. Let's just say there was immense crying and whining while I made the million teeny tiny gnocchi and placed them on racks in the kitchen to be cooked later. I had to create new and different ways to put Finn's pacifier back in his mouth without touching it with my hands or any part of my arm up to my elbows, I sing songed to Teagan the entire time as she stood staring at me and wailing, and put her back in baby jail three times after she escaped without touching her with my hands -did I mention she is in a fancy tutu outfit that she wanted to wear and that is brand new and WHITE?!
So, you got me Mr. Satan, I fell for your test run and must say, it was very hellish and an excellent form of torture for any bad mama, nice work! Thankfully, I don't plan on spending any time in your area of town, so this should be the last time I have that experience.
First there was a ridiculous deal on 5 lb bags of organic potatoes at Quail Cove, so I of course bought two. Note that my husband does not eat white potatoes, so that puts 10 lbs of potatoes on me and the kids, hmmm. Then today I decided to make a dent in those potatoes and make gnocchi. I believe this happened as a result of the truly awesome day I had with the babies yesterday and my judgment was obviously clouded by those events. Then I decided to only boil the potatoes while the babies napped and thought I could put Finn in his swing and have Teagan stay in baby jail while I made the gnocchi, after nap, while in charge of the babies, with no one else here as backup.
Gnocchi, for those who have never made it or eaten it, is a potato based pasta. It is simple to make the dough, but it is the stickiest substance on earth..seriously. In addition, there are a bunch of steps needed to make gnocchi, boil potatoes, whip potatoes in mixer, add flour, eggs and seasoning and then roll dough into snakes and cut into small pieces that you that you then roll off the back of a fork to create ridges, in each and every one. It is also a mess maker, the gnocchi maker and the kitchen will be covered in flour and dough, it is inevitable.
I have made gnocchi a bunch of times before, however never enough to feed six people and never while alone with an 18 month old and 2 month old in my care. Let's just say there was immense crying and whining while I made the million teeny tiny gnocchi and placed them on racks in the kitchen to be cooked later. I had to create new and different ways to put Finn's pacifier back in his mouth without touching it with my hands or any part of my arm up to my elbows, I sing songed to Teagan the entire time as she stood staring at me and wailing, and put her back in baby jail three times after she escaped without touching her with my hands -did I mention she is in a fancy tutu outfit that she wanted to wear and that is brand new and WHITE?!
So, you got me Mr. Satan, I fell for your test run and must say, it was very hellish and an excellent form of torture for any bad mama, nice work! Thankfully, I don't plan on spending any time in your area of town, so this should be the last time I have that experience.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Along for the ride
Life is a rollercoaster. When Ryan and I got married and had Haven, I never would have thought that 11 years later this is where we would be. I knew we would have more children, I just didn't think we would still be having them this far into marriage...but I am so glad we did. I love my days alone with the babies, and though sometimes they can be hard when they are extra whiny or sick, I really enjoy the opportunity to have the baby days back and to see the world through their eyes.
This morning after the big kids left, Teagan "helped" me clean up. She took some of the plastic plates out of the dishwasher and put them in a cabinet...the wrong cabinet, but that is OK, she was "helping" and learning about where things go. She also "helped" vacuum, she likes holding the wand while I vacuum the perimeter of the room and she helps pick up shoes, and move them around the house. It is so much fun to see her learning and exploring, and she is such a sweet girl always kissing and hugging on everyone, I cannot imagine our family without our little Teagie.
Finn has slept the morning away which was great since I got some one on one with Teagie and got all my chores done for the day except the laundry that I will tackle while Teagan naps. Dinner is even in the crockpot, white bean chicken chili, so that I can help Haven finish a project after school before we need to leave for dance. The sun is shining, the weather is warm, and the babies and I will take a walk after nap if we have time before the big kids get home.
Not all days are smooth like today has been, in fact many are hard and long, but regardless it is my life, my rollarcoaster and I am hanging on and enjoying the ride.
This morning after the big kids left, Teagan "helped" me clean up. She took some of the plastic plates out of the dishwasher and put them in a cabinet...the wrong cabinet, but that is OK, she was "helping" and learning about where things go. She also "helped" vacuum, she likes holding the wand while I vacuum the perimeter of the room and she helps pick up shoes, and move them around the house. It is so much fun to see her learning and exploring, and she is such a sweet girl always kissing and hugging on everyone, I cannot imagine our family without our little Teagie.
Finn has slept the morning away which was great since I got some one on one with Teagie and got all my chores done for the day except the laundry that I will tackle while Teagan naps. Dinner is even in the crockpot, white bean chicken chili, so that I can help Haven finish a project after school before we need to leave for dance. The sun is shining, the weather is warm, and the babies and I will take a walk after nap if we have time before the big kids get home.
Not all days are smooth like today has been, in fact many are hard and long, but regardless it is my life, my rollarcoaster and I am hanging on and enjoying the ride.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Right now
I am holding the sweetest little baby boy, all warm and sleepy. I am tired and the day was long, but right now everything is just perfect.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Still kicking
It has just been so busy here lately that the old blog has been suffering.
Let's see, last weekend Saturday was super awesome, kids behaved for the most part and Teagan FINALLY seemed well and back to her happy little self. Then Sunday morning she was super clingy and crying and whining all morning. Ryan came home and was about to head to bed when it happened.....she exploded poo everywhere. Seriously, this was Hazmat worthy. If you are a parent you have had this moment when something like this happens and you are frozen for a second as you wrack your brain trying to figure out:
1. Is there any way to deal with this and not get covered in the yuck?
2. Are you really the one responsible for dealing with the situation?
3. WHY did no one warn you this could happen!?
4. HELP!!!!
So, I then yelled for backup :) We got her cleaned up and then Sunday went to hell in a poop colored handbasket. Basically Teagan exploded a number of times and much laundry was done....in between she got a fever and cried, a lot. The worst part about this was that Ryan and I had a date night scheduled for that evening and for the second time in a row we needed to cancel our date night to the same restaurant :(
Once the cancellation decision was made, I manned up, put on clothes and took Finn out to get the last of the V-Day stuff for the kids at Target, plus a quick grocery store run. Then came home and Ryan and I decided to order in from the Italian place we wanted to try...it was tasty enough, but they did a crap job of packing it and sauce got everywhere, and the salads were super expensive and not worth it. *sigh*
Otherwise we are moving along. Life has been good to us, financially we are in a good place and I feel comfortable with our future plans. I feel like I have my footing with work and the kids and the house, however finding time to work on my dissertation has become a major issue. I have completed Chapter 1 and it is approved and I am working on Chapter 2, but finding a span of a few hours to write is near impossible, so I have decided to hire our sitter to come extra hours each week. I am hoping to have her Friday and Saturday afternoons to juggle the kids while I sneak into the living room to write for a few hours. Thankfully my sitter is more than happy to come and hang with the kids, and I know they will have a blast and I can put my focus on writing. It is a much needed arrangement and I am happy we have someone who loves our kids and who I can trust to stand in for me. I must admit that I will be very happy when my dissertation is done.
Let's see, last weekend Saturday was super awesome, kids behaved for the most part and Teagan FINALLY seemed well and back to her happy little self. Then Sunday morning she was super clingy and crying and whining all morning. Ryan came home and was about to head to bed when it happened.....she exploded poo everywhere. Seriously, this was Hazmat worthy. If you are a parent you have had this moment when something like this happens and you are frozen for a second as you wrack your brain trying to figure out:
1. Is there any way to deal with this and not get covered in the yuck?
2. Are you really the one responsible for dealing with the situation?
3. WHY did no one warn you this could happen!?
4. HELP!!!!
So, I then yelled for backup :) We got her cleaned up and then Sunday went to hell in a poop colored handbasket. Basically Teagan exploded a number of times and much laundry was done....in between she got a fever and cried, a lot. The worst part about this was that Ryan and I had a date night scheduled for that evening and for the second time in a row we needed to cancel our date night to the same restaurant :(
Once the cancellation decision was made, I manned up, put on clothes and took Finn out to get the last of the V-Day stuff for the kids at Target, plus a quick grocery store run. Then came home and Ryan and I decided to order in from the Italian place we wanted to try...it was tasty enough, but they did a crap job of packing it and sauce got everywhere, and the salads were super expensive and not worth it. *sigh*
Otherwise we are moving along. Life has been good to us, financially we are in a good place and I feel comfortable with our future plans. I feel like I have my footing with work and the kids and the house, however finding time to work on my dissertation has become a major issue. I have completed Chapter 1 and it is approved and I am working on Chapter 2, but finding a span of a few hours to write is near impossible, so I have decided to hire our sitter to come extra hours each week. I am hoping to have her Friday and Saturday afternoons to juggle the kids while I sneak into the living room to write for a few hours. Thankfully my sitter is more than happy to come and hang with the kids, and I know they will have a blast and I can put my focus on writing. It is a much needed arrangement and I am happy we have someone who loves our kids and who I can trust to stand in for me. I must admit that I will be very happy when my dissertation is done.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Cooking dinner at noon
Anyone with kids knows the challenge of getting a healthy and home cooked dinner on the table. If you have babies they are fussy around 3-5 pm, big kids are just getting home from school and working on homework, lots of kids have activities, husbands are usually not home from work during dinner prep or in my case, he is still sleeping after working the night before or getting ready to go to work. It is hard to get dinner made, and for it to be something everyone likes and that is healthy, well that takes some planning. In our house I have an extra challenge to have the food made in time for Ryan to take some with him when he leaves for work, which is around 5:30.
In this house, I have two kinds of dinners I make. The first are ones that can be made in about 15-20 minutes from start to finish. These dinners get started when the big kids get home from school since one of them can usually sit in with the babies to make sure Teagan doesn't attack Finn :) Last night I made one of these meals. We had mango coconut tilapia, basmati rice and salad. The fish was easy since I put it in a baking dish and put the coconut mango sauce I grabbed at Wegman's over the top and threw it in a hot oven for 20 minutes. The rice is equally easy, washed it and put it on the stove for 15 minutes and made the salad while everything cooked. Other quick meals are tacos, most pasta dishes, breakfast for dinner meals, and anything grilled. Sometimes the sides for these meals take longer, so I will prep those earlier in the day if I can.
The other type of meal I make are the ones that I can start around noon when Teagan goes up for her nap. These are things like soups and stews, chili, roasts, etc. Today I am making a pot roast with a twist. I browned up a nice chuck roast this morning and removed it from the pan. Then I added some onions, parsnips and carrots and cooked until soft, added some good red wine and beef stock and added the beef back in. This will cook slowly all day and I will end up with a super tender beef roast and a thick, delicious gravy. While Teagan napped today, I made some cornbread that I baked in my iron skillet and peeled and cubed potatoes that I now have sitting in cold water. When Teagan gets up, dinner will be essentially made with the exception of turning on the potatoes and mashing them when cooked, and I will be able to concentrate on playing with her and Finn, working and helping the big kids with homework when they get home.
Making meals takes up a large part of my day, between the prep, clean up and dishes the meals all run into one another. I am hoping to teach Haven and Brittan a few meals this summer so they can begin to cook once a month, it is good practice for them and will be a huge help for me. i am curious when other parents teach their kids to cook, what do they show them first?
In this house, I have two kinds of dinners I make. The first are ones that can be made in about 15-20 minutes from start to finish. These dinners get started when the big kids get home from school since one of them can usually sit in with the babies to make sure Teagan doesn't attack Finn :) Last night I made one of these meals. We had mango coconut tilapia, basmati rice and salad. The fish was easy since I put it in a baking dish and put the coconut mango sauce I grabbed at Wegman's over the top and threw it in a hot oven for 20 minutes. The rice is equally easy, washed it and put it on the stove for 15 minutes and made the salad while everything cooked. Other quick meals are tacos, most pasta dishes, breakfast for dinner meals, and anything grilled. Sometimes the sides for these meals take longer, so I will prep those earlier in the day if I can.
The other type of meal I make are the ones that I can start around noon when Teagan goes up for her nap. These are things like soups and stews, chili, roasts, etc. Today I am making a pot roast with a twist. I browned up a nice chuck roast this morning and removed it from the pan. Then I added some onions, parsnips and carrots and cooked until soft, added some good red wine and beef stock and added the beef back in. This will cook slowly all day and I will end up with a super tender beef roast and a thick, delicious gravy. While Teagan napped today, I made some cornbread that I baked in my iron skillet and peeled and cubed potatoes that I now have sitting in cold water. When Teagan gets up, dinner will be essentially made with the exception of turning on the potatoes and mashing them when cooked, and I will be able to concentrate on playing with her and Finn, working and helping the big kids with homework when they get home.
Making meals takes up a large part of my day, between the prep, clean up and dishes the meals all run into one another. I am hoping to teach Haven and Brittan a few meals this summer so they can begin to cook once a month, it is good practice for them and will be a huge help for me. i am curious when other parents teach their kids to cook, what do they show them first?
Thursday, February 10, 2011
I Love Ebates
OK, I know I have said this before, but i really love Ebates. Last week I ordered some stuff for an upcoming trip from Old Navy, it cost me just about 50 bucks and I got free shipping...I also got 10 dollars back through Ebates. Seriously. TEN dollars because I went to the Ebates website first, click on Old Navy and then went about my business. Whenever I am about to buy something online I always go to Ebates first to see if the company participates. I just added up all the checks I received in 2010 (you get four a year) and it was just under 90 dollars, that is a lot of cash! I am expecting another check in a few days, for just under 30 bucks from Christmas shopping.
So, if you don't already have an account, I suggest you go get one! If you want to be extra sweet to me for sharing with you, please use this link
So, if you don't already have an account, I suggest you go get one! If you want to be extra sweet to me for sharing with you, please use this link
http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=q1oG69t0AQbdpee0ji3Vog%3D%3D I will get credit for the referral.
Happy shopping!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Why hello there!
We have had a number of random illnesses running through the house and it has been exhausting. Brittan and Teagan are still fighting off their cough/nose/ear/lung junk, are finishing their respective antibiotics soon and have a lung check Friday. Haven has a similar virus and something else that caused us to have to pick her up early on Monday and she then came home and slept for hours! Gray had a vomit thing early Sunday morning but was a-ok by mid-morning, last night he refused dinner and then today woke up, looked AWFUL said his body hurt and asked to stay home. His temp was weirdly low, only around 96 and he then went to bed and slept for a number of hours, this afternoon he was eating and feeling fine! I am done with the sickies and hope they get them out of their system before our upcoming Disney trip.
Anyway, in other news things here are good, really good. I feel like we are moving right along with the house stuff, and even though it takes way longer than I want, the projects are getting done. Ryan and I plan to start going room to room this summer, cleaning, purging and packing...yep PACKING! It looks like we will be set to move in about 2 years, and it will take us that long to get everything together, so for now, anything we want to keep but don't need access to regularly is being packed and put in storage. Decluttering will really help us get things as we get closer to making the move.
As always, I am incredibly thankful that we have been able to provide for and care for our family and only hope that we will be able to continue to do so. Love my family, love, love, love them!
Anyway, in other news things here are good, really good. I feel like we are moving right along with the house stuff, and even though it takes way longer than I want, the projects are getting done. Ryan and I plan to start going room to room this summer, cleaning, purging and packing...yep PACKING! It looks like we will be set to move in about 2 years, and it will take us that long to get everything together, so for now, anything we want to keep but don't need access to regularly is being packed and put in storage. Decluttering will really help us get things as we get closer to making the move.
As always, I am incredibly thankful that we have been able to provide for and care for our family and only hope that we will be able to continue to do so. Love my family, love, love, love them!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
The truth
Tired and a touch overwhelmed today with a load of grateful thrown in. Here are some of my truths:
1. Tired of sick kids and coughing and vomit and nasty dipes, it can make a long day last forever.
2. We don't do football, not our thing, and I am happy about it since we would have had to cancel any plans we might have had.
3. I am not superwoman, nowhere near it. I do what needs to be done because I am the mommy and the little people depend on me. Purely human, with good days and bad.
4. I am tired of school. I am tired of writing. I want to be done with my dissertation, I never planned to have two babies while trying to navigate this process and it can be a bit much some days but I will finish because I committed to it.
5. If I could go back to 25 year old me I would make myself create the marriage I have now. I am still kicking myself for so many stupid choices made early on before I knew just how good it could be if you work for it.
6. I am proud of my kids. I think they are good people, and while they make mistakes, we work hard to teach them to learn from them. Afterall, isn't the point of being a kid to learn and grow? How can you do that without making mistakes?
7. My internal dialogue never turns off, it runs all day long and through many nights. It is the only way I stay on top of everything and semi-sane.
8. I never knew how much one toxic person could affect all aspects of your life. Remove the toxicity and so many doors and windows fly open and your world floods with sunshine and good people.
9. Thankful every day that we are able to support our kids and live a good life. Very, very thankful.
10. Shocked that I have both a two month old and a kid heading to middle school next year, it goes so very fast and changes on a dime.
11. Think that some of the best things in life come as surprises.
12. Loving the new (and old) people in my life and re-prioritizing to make time for friends and family.
13. Wishes adults would follow the same rules as kindergarteners: be kind, be truthful, don't call people names, keep your hands to yourself and treat others as you want to be treated.
14. I could give a damn about anything tonight except I hope the kids sleep and no one else gets sick.
1. Tired of sick kids and coughing and vomit and nasty dipes, it can make a long day last forever.
2. We don't do football, not our thing, and I am happy about it since we would have had to cancel any plans we might have had.
3. I am not superwoman, nowhere near it. I do what needs to be done because I am the mommy and the little people depend on me. Purely human, with good days and bad.
4. I am tired of school. I am tired of writing. I want to be done with my dissertation, I never planned to have two babies while trying to navigate this process and it can be a bit much some days but I will finish because I committed to it.
5. If I could go back to 25 year old me I would make myself create the marriage I have now. I am still kicking myself for so many stupid choices made early on before I knew just how good it could be if you work for it.
6. I am proud of my kids. I think they are good people, and while they make mistakes, we work hard to teach them to learn from them. Afterall, isn't the point of being a kid to learn and grow? How can you do that without making mistakes?
7. My internal dialogue never turns off, it runs all day long and through many nights. It is the only way I stay on top of everything and semi-sane.
8. I never knew how much one toxic person could affect all aspects of your life. Remove the toxicity and so many doors and windows fly open and your world floods with sunshine and good people.
9. Thankful every day that we are able to support our kids and live a good life. Very, very thankful.
10. Shocked that I have both a two month old and a kid heading to middle school next year, it goes so very fast and changes on a dime.
11. Think that some of the best things in life come as surprises.
12. Loving the new (and old) people in my life and re-prioritizing to make time for friends and family.
13. Wishes adults would follow the same rules as kindergarteners: be kind, be truthful, don't call people names, keep your hands to yourself and treat others as you want to be treated.
14. I could give a damn about anything tonight except I hope the kids sleep and no one else gets sick.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Turbo Tax Update
First-how funny that Google Ads keeps placing a Turbo Tax ad below my other post :)
So, I know you have been waiting with baited breath to find out what happened with Turbo Tax and the option to e-file my state return as well as my new friend Ramona the drunk 13 year old.
I emailed the transcript of the conversation with Ramona to Customer Service and I haven't heard back. I did however get a survey in my email...going to have to fill that in ASAP.
I had also posted a question on the "Live Community" since all other questions that related to these forms were not answered, mine wasn't either :(
So I resigned myself to the fact that I would just mail the return today when I took Gray to a birthday party. Got up at my usual crack of dawn with the criers and logged on to see if the forms were available. Lo and behold they were and so was the option to E-FILE. Taxes have been e-filed with the State of Virginia and waiting for the Fed to start accepting returns on the 14th. Seriously, two days ago NO ONE knew that there would be an option to e-file? Turbo Tax is a mess.
So, I know you have been waiting with baited breath to find out what happened with Turbo Tax and the option to e-file my state return as well as my new friend Ramona the drunk 13 year old.
I emailed the transcript of the conversation with Ramona to Customer Service and I haven't heard back. I did however get a survey in my email...going to have to fill that in ASAP.
I had also posted a question on the "Live Community" since all other questions that related to these forms were not answered, mine wasn't either :(
So I resigned myself to the fact that I would just mail the return today when I took Gray to a birthday party. Got up at my usual crack of dawn with the criers and logged on to see if the forms were available. Lo and behold they were and so was the option to E-FILE. Taxes have been e-filed with the State of Virginia and waiting for the Fed to start accepting returns on the 14th. Seriously, two days ago NO ONE knew that there would be an option to e-file? Turbo Tax is a mess.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Turbo Tax likes them young
employees that is. After the "support" chat I had tonight, all I can guess is that the "13" in 13 Ramona's handle is to identify her age, or maybe the number of drinks she had before she logged on.
I was doing our taxes and there were two forms that came up that had notes that they would be available to print on 2/5 and "cannot efile" under efile. I wanted to know if the efile option was going to become available at some point as well, or if I needed to suck it up and mail the return. This is the transcript from my "support" chat that I waited over 45 minutes for.....I wanted to ask "Ramona" why she hated her job so much and suggest she find a new vocation since customer service is not her forte.
13_Ramona B: Hello Rebecca, thank you for contacting TurboTax, please allow me a moment to read your question?
Rebecca Kelley: sure
13_Ramona B: when did you last update?
Rebecca Kelley: i checked today i use turbo tax online
13_Ramona B: did you itemize or have charity ded or education tax credits?
Rebecca Kelley: i itemized and have charity and education deductions yes
13_Ramona B: so the fed won't accept those forms until feb14 that is probably holding up the state as well
Rebecca Kelley: it says that the form will be available to mail 2/5
Rebecca Kelley: and not available under efile
Rebecca Kelley: will it become available to efile or will i have to mail my VA return?
The agent is sending you to http://2/5 is Friday I would try it then.
Rebecca Kelley: no 2/5 is saturday
13_Ramona B: sorry am a day off
Rebecca Kelley: and it only says it is available to mail then
13_Ramona B: you have the best information right there
Rebecca Kelley: i need to know if i am going to need to efile or if i have to mail
13_Ramona B: whatever it will let you do
Rebecca Kelley: it says "cannot e-file"
Rebecca Kelley: that is what I am asking
Rebecca Kelley: will it be available to efile at some point?
Rebecca Kelley: or not?
13_Ramona B: i really dont know about that
Rebecca Kelley: and why not, what are these forms?
13_Ramona B: some forms are involved in the late legislation
Rebecca Kelley: well that is what i sat here for 45 minutes to find out, i paid for state to be efiled and could have done paper already for free
13_Ramona B: where the gov isn't ready to work on them yet
Rebecca Kelley: that is federal taxes, this is state
Rebecca Kelley: this is Virginia state taxes
13_Ramona B: they are linked with info
Rebecca Kelley: Form Available to File by Mail Available to E-file
Virginia Individual Forms
FDC Wks 02/05/2011 Cannot e-file
Fed/State Adj 02/05/2011 Cannot e-file
Rebecca Kelley: this is what it says
Rebecca Kelley: so will it be available or not to efile?
13_Ramona B: if you can't efile, we can help you get a refund for any money you paid
Rebecca Kelley: but i need to know if i can or not!
Rebecca Kelley: on saturday do i need to print and mail?
13_Ramona B: i would do what it says
Rebecca Kelley: or will an efile option become available?
Rebecca Kelley: it doesn't say anything
Rebecca Kelley: it says the mailed forms will be availble 2/5
Rebecca Kelley: and that "cannot efile"
13_Ramona B: you will see if its there, havent heard of any similar issues
Rebecca Kelley: is that permanent?
Rebecca Kelley: see if what is there?
13_Ramona B: the option to efile
Rebecca Kelley: when?
Rebecca Kelley: it says "cannot efile"
Rebecca Kelley: with the forms
Rebecca Kelley: so will that change?
13_Ramona B: i don't know
Rebecca Kelley: or will i need to mail?
13_Ramona B: Rebecca is there anything else I may assist you with today?
Rebecca Kelley: i need someone to tell me if i have to mail or if i can efile my state return at some point
Rebecca Kelley: you have not done that
13_Ramona B: your software is the best judge, every state is different
Rebecca Kelley: you told me you don't know and to wait and see, that is not an answer because how long will i need to wait to see if an efile option becomes available or not?
Rebecca Kelley: my software is not telling me IF an option to efile will become available!
Rebecca Kelley: it is your program
Rebecca Kelley: if i am not going to be able to efile those forms, i need to know
Rebecca Kelley: that is a pretty basic question
13_Ramona B: i would say no
Rebecca Kelley: no it will not become available?
13_Ramona B: don't know
Rebecca Kelley: seriously?
13_Ramona B: seriously
Rebecca Kelley: please tell me you can find someone who can actually answer my question
Rebecca Kelley: based on information relating to the product
The agent is sending you to http://turbotax.intuit.com/support/iq/State-Form-Availability/2010-State-Forms-for-Personal-Tax-Returns/GEN12011.html?mode=detail&formsetid=S2010ZVA&family=PerState&state=Virginia.
The agent is sending you to http://turbotax.intuit.com/support/iq/State-Form-Availability/2010-State-Forms-for-Personal-Tax-Returns/GEN12011.html?mode=detail&formsetid=S2010ZVA&family=PerState&state=Virginia.
13_Ramona B: take a look at this article
Rebecca Kelley: that still doesn't say of it will be available for efile
13_Ramona B: thats why your software usually is the best resource
Rebecca Kelley: what software?
13_Ramona B: yours
Rebecca Kelley: i use online and it doesn't say anything about IF it will be available to efile
Rebecca Kelley: again...online version
13_Ramona B: you copied the information in the above text from your online acct
Rebecca Kelley: yes
13_Ramona B: ebecca Kelley: Form Available to File by Mail Available to E-file
Virginia Individual Forms
FDC Wks 02/05/2011 Cannot e-file
Fed/State Adj 02/05/2011 Cannot e-file
Rebecca Kelley: yes, from my screen on my computer where I did my taxes on TurboTax online
Rebecca Kelley: that is what is says in my state section
13_Ramona B: so go with it
Rebecca Kelley: go with what?
13_Ramona B: the latest info from your online software
Rebecca Kelley: which does not tell me if i will be able to efile which is why i am sitting here
13_Ramona B: apparently not
Rebecca Kelley: you have not been helpful
13_Ramona B: thats all i know
13_Ramona B: Rebecca is there anything else I may assist you with today?
13_Ramona B: I am not showing a response for the last three minutes. If you transmitted and I have not replied, please resubmit your text. If I do not show a response within the next two minutes, I will close this chat session.
Rebecca Kelley: i would like a real answer
Rebecca Kelley: or an email for customer service
13_Ramona B: ask in another chat please
I was doing our taxes and there were two forms that came up that had notes that they would be available to print on 2/5 and "cannot efile" under efile. I wanted to know if the efile option was going to become available at some point as well, or if I needed to suck it up and mail the return. This is the transcript from my "support" chat that I waited over 45 minutes for.....I wanted to ask "Ramona" why she hated her job so much and suggest she find a new vocation since customer service is not her forte.
13_Ramona B: Hello Rebecca, thank you for contacting TurboTax, please allow me a moment to read your question?
Rebecca Kelley: sure
13_Ramona B: when did you last update?
Rebecca Kelley: i checked today i use turbo tax online
13_Ramona B: did you itemize or have charity ded or education tax credits?
Rebecca Kelley: i itemized and have charity and education deductions yes
13_Ramona B: so the fed won't accept those forms until feb14 that is probably holding up the state as well
Rebecca Kelley: it says that the form will be available to mail 2/5
Rebecca Kelley: and not available under efile
Rebecca Kelley: will it become available to efile or will i have to mail my VA return?
The agent is sending you to http://2/5 is Friday I would try it then.
Rebecca Kelley: no 2/5 is saturday
13_Ramona B: sorry am a day off
Rebecca Kelley: and it only says it is available to mail then
13_Ramona B: you have the best information right there
Rebecca Kelley: i need to know if i am going to need to efile or if i have to mail
13_Ramona B: whatever it will let you do
Rebecca Kelley: it says "cannot e-file"
Rebecca Kelley: that is what I am asking
Rebecca Kelley: will it be available to efile at some point?
Rebecca Kelley: or not?
13_Ramona B: i really dont know about that
Rebecca Kelley: and why not, what are these forms?
13_Ramona B: some forms are involved in the late legislation
Rebecca Kelley: well that is what i sat here for 45 minutes to find out, i paid for state to be efiled and could have done paper already for free
13_Ramona B: where the gov isn't ready to work on them yet
Rebecca Kelley: that is federal taxes, this is state
Rebecca Kelley: this is Virginia state taxes
13_Ramona B: they are linked with info
Rebecca Kelley: Form Available to File by Mail Available to E-file
Virginia Individual Forms
FDC Wks 02/05/2011 Cannot e-file
Fed/State Adj 02/05/2011 Cannot e-file
Rebecca Kelley: this is what it says
Rebecca Kelley: so will it be available or not to efile?
13_Ramona B: if you can't efile, we can help you get a refund for any money you paid
Rebecca Kelley: but i need to know if i can or not!
Rebecca Kelley: on saturday do i need to print and mail?
13_Ramona B: i would do what it says
Rebecca Kelley: or will an efile option become available?
Rebecca Kelley: it doesn't say anything
Rebecca Kelley: it says the mailed forms will be availble 2/5
Rebecca Kelley: and that "cannot efile"
13_Ramona B: you will see if its there, havent heard of any similar issues
Rebecca Kelley: is that permanent?
Rebecca Kelley: see if what is there?
13_Ramona B: the option to efile
Rebecca Kelley: when?
Rebecca Kelley: it says "cannot efile"
Rebecca Kelley: with the forms
Rebecca Kelley: so will that change?
13_Ramona B: i don't know
Rebecca Kelley: or will i need to mail?
13_Ramona B: Rebecca is there anything else I may assist you with today?
Rebecca Kelley: i need someone to tell me if i have to mail or if i can efile my state return at some point
Rebecca Kelley: you have not done that
13_Ramona B: your software is the best judge, every state is different
Rebecca Kelley: you told me you don't know and to wait and see, that is not an answer because how long will i need to wait to see if an efile option becomes available or not?
Rebecca Kelley: my software is not telling me IF an option to efile will become available!
Rebecca Kelley: it is your program
Rebecca Kelley: if i am not going to be able to efile those forms, i need to know
Rebecca Kelley: that is a pretty basic question
13_Ramona B: i would say no
Rebecca Kelley: no it will not become available?
13_Ramona B: don't know
Rebecca Kelley: seriously?
13_Ramona B: seriously
Rebecca Kelley: please tell me you can find someone who can actually answer my question
Rebecca Kelley: based on information relating to the product
The agent is sending you to http://turbotax.intuit.com/support/iq/State-Form-Availability/2010-State-Forms-for-Personal-Tax-Returns/GEN12011.html?mode=detail&formsetid=S2010ZVA&family=PerState&state=Virginia.
The agent is sending you to http://turbotax.intuit.com/support/iq/State-Form-Availability/2010-State-Forms-for-Personal-Tax-Returns/GEN12011.html?mode=detail&formsetid=S2010ZVA&family=PerState&state=Virginia.
13_Ramona B: take a look at this article
Rebecca Kelley: that still doesn't say of it will be available for efile
13_Ramona B: thats why your software usually is the best resource
Rebecca Kelley: what software?
13_Ramona B: yours
Rebecca Kelley: i use online and it doesn't say anything about IF it will be available to efile
Rebecca Kelley: again...online version
13_Ramona B: you copied the information in the above text from your online acct
Rebecca Kelley: yes
13_Ramona B: ebecca Kelley: Form Available to File by Mail Available to E-file
Virginia Individual Forms
FDC Wks 02/05/2011 Cannot e-file
Fed/State Adj 02/05/2011 Cannot e-file
Rebecca Kelley: yes, from my screen on my computer where I did my taxes on TurboTax online
Rebecca Kelley: that is what is says in my state section
13_Ramona B: so go with it
Rebecca Kelley: go with what?
13_Ramona B: the latest info from your online software
Rebecca Kelley: which does not tell me if i will be able to efile which is why i am sitting here
13_Ramona B: apparently not
Rebecca Kelley: you have not been helpful
13_Ramona B: thats all i know
13_Ramona B: Rebecca is there anything else I may assist you with today?
13_Ramona B: I am not showing a response for the last three minutes. If you transmitted and I have not replied, please resubmit your text. If I do not show a response within the next two minutes, I will close this chat session.
Rebecca Kelley: i would like a real answer
Rebecca Kelley: or an email for customer service
13_Ramona B: ask in another chat please
Thursday, February 3, 2011
I need a Hazmat suit
Ever have one of those phone conversations or emails where right after you feel the need to take a very hot shower because you are afraid that some of the utter bullshit and insanity the other person spewed may have flown off and gotten on you Yeah, me neither.
Anyway....we had another busy morning. I had changed Finn's 2 month appointment to today since Teagan started running yet another fever and is still all snotty and coughing, so this morning the babies and I headed out. First up was Target. Grayson has a birthday party on Saturday, so we needed a present. As we walked in, we ran onto the woman with the twins from Wegman's the other day! It was so funny that we ran onto each other, especially since Target is in our town and Wegman's is about 20 minutes away. We chatted for a bit and then I went off to get what we needed. I had put Finn in the sling and Teagan in the cart, but it wasn't working well. Teagan wanted to stand, so I would belt her, then she would undo the belt the little smarty pants, so I would sit her down and she would try to stand and so on and so forth. I decided it is really time to get the new double stroller and have narrowed down the one I want. I knew I would need one for Disney, but it is becoming clear that Teagan can outsmart the simple waist belts so I need to secure her in a five point harness....made of titanium :)
Got the goods and headed to the pediatrician. We saw the nurse practicioner that I love who declared that Finn was doing awesome and that he was growing right along his growth curve. He is a big boy, 13 lbs 3 ozs at two months today. Teagan was checked over again and they changed her antibiotic. We are guessing most of it is viral, but she keeps getting these fevers of between 99.5 and 101 which they thing may be due to a sinus infection. Hopefully this will do the trick and she will be on the mend soon, wiping her nose can be a wrestling match, so I will be happy for her to start to feel better.
Anyway....we had another busy morning. I had changed Finn's 2 month appointment to today since Teagan started running yet another fever and is still all snotty and coughing, so this morning the babies and I headed out. First up was Target. Grayson has a birthday party on Saturday, so we needed a present. As we walked in, we ran onto the woman with the twins from Wegman's the other day! It was so funny that we ran onto each other, especially since Target is in our town and Wegman's is about 20 minutes away. We chatted for a bit and then I went off to get what we needed. I had put Finn in the sling and Teagan in the cart, but it wasn't working well. Teagan wanted to stand, so I would belt her, then she would undo the belt the little smarty pants, so I would sit her down and she would try to stand and so on and so forth. I decided it is really time to get the new double stroller and have narrowed down the one I want. I knew I would need one for Disney, but it is becoming clear that Teagan can outsmart the simple waist belts so I need to secure her in a five point harness....made of titanium :)
Got the goods and headed to the pediatrician. We saw the nurse practicioner that I love who declared that Finn was doing awesome and that he was growing right along his growth curve. He is a big boy, 13 lbs 3 ozs at two months today. Teagan was checked over again and they changed her antibiotic. We are guessing most of it is viral, but she keeps getting these fevers of between 99.5 and 101 which they thing may be due to a sinus infection. Hopefully this will do the trick and she will be on the mend soon, wiping her nose can be a wrestling match, so I will be happy for her to start to feel better.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
The rhythm of life
Ours is a busy and crazy life, but it also runs like a well oiled machine most of the time. Yesterday Ryan, the babies and I went to run some errands. First on our list was Wegman's where we did the grocery shopping and got some lunch. While grocery shopping, Ryan often had a baby in his arms, first Finn, then Teagan, then Finn again. We tag teamed without needing to say much, he saw when I was trying to find a product and would distract Teagan, and I would see when Finn needed me to hold him and just take him and keep walking, After we bought the groceries, I found a table with the cart and Finn while Ryan and Teagan grabbed slices of pizza, when they returned I went and got some Indian food with Finn sleeping in my arms.
When I got back, Ryan was chatting with a woman at the next table with twin baby girls. She was mentioning that she had seen us moving through the store and that she saw how we worked as a team and that she and her husband are the same way with their kids. As I walked over, Ryan had just mentioned that Teagan and Finn were our fourth and fifth children and she laughed because she also had four and knew how much easier being out with two can be! We chatted a bit while we ate lunch, me remarking that I didn't think I could swing twins and her mentioning that she couldn't do two close in age, her next oldest was eight. I guess before the conversation I hadn't noticed how well we moved together, how Ryan could see when I needed to think or when I needed him to grab a kid and vice versa. There is something special about those unspoken conversations, and they make things so much easier.
Tonight as Ryan handed off the kids to me just after I walked in from teaching it felt so secure, so predictable, so expected. He knew what he needed to do before I took over, and I knew when it was my time to jump in. The rhythm of our life is so peaceful and calming amongst the noise and hubbub of activity.
When I got back, Ryan was chatting with a woman at the next table with twin baby girls. She was mentioning that she had seen us moving through the store and that she saw how we worked as a team and that she and her husband are the same way with their kids. As I walked over, Ryan had just mentioned that Teagan and Finn were our fourth and fifth children and she laughed because she also had four and knew how much easier being out with two can be! We chatted a bit while we ate lunch, me remarking that I didn't think I could swing twins and her mentioning that she couldn't do two close in age, her next oldest was eight. I guess before the conversation I hadn't noticed how well we moved together, how Ryan could see when I needed to think or when I needed him to grab a kid and vice versa. There is something special about those unspoken conversations, and they make things so much easier.
Tonight as Ryan handed off the kids to me just after I walked in from teaching it felt so secure, so predictable, so expected. He knew what he needed to do before I took over, and I knew when it was my time to jump in. The rhythm of our life is so peaceful and calming amongst the noise and hubbub of activity.
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