Monday, February 21, 2011

True self

Do you ever feel lost, like you forgot who you were?  I think for mother's this can be a problem as we constantly have to do for everyone else.  We need to nurture, love and care for our kids, and we need to help our husband, support him, love him and be his friend.  All too often we forget to care for ourselves and become the things we do for our families.  Now, we love our families I know, and we want to do for them, but I sometimes see me slipping away to be what they need and expect.  It is always hardest for me after  new baby is born, I am their sole caregiver, I am their source of nutrition, they sleep with me, and I am with them constantly with the exception of when I go to PT gig twice a week.  I get lost in that role, and it can cause me stress because sometimes I need what makes me happy, what soothes me, what makes me feel like my true self.  I really believe it is important for moms to be authentic and true to themselves, but I struggle sometimes to do that and it can be an internal battle.

Today my husband made me a CD of a band I love and he loaded the songs on my laptop.  I forgot how much I need music after having a baby, how I love to put it on in the afternoons and dance with my babies and feel like myself again.. On my way in to PT school, I listened to that CD and I sang loud and long, and I felt reconnected to my true self.  I am stopping caring what others think. I am learning to breathe deep.  I am loving the gift of every day. I am singing loud again.

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