No walk in the park

Parenting is not a fun job, it has its joyous moments, but it is difficult. My oldest has been trying since the day she was born, lots of health issues and some personality conflicts make parenting her a daily challenge. I love her tremendously, but she is really tough, and I often wonder if I am doing the right things for her. She is very selfish and self involved, she is explosive and can be mean, she is either ECSTATIC or MISERABLE, there is no in between. She is impulsive and can be quite hurtful, yet when she wants to be, she can be such a sweet, loving girl. I feel like we have been working on some of her personality traits since she was a year old, and we are still working on them as she nears her ninth birthday. It can be hard to see her explode and yell at her siblings, and then know she feels bad and still have to punish her. I fear what will happen when the hormones kick in a few years from now, but I will keep trying to show her the right path.