This is getting old. I am sick of waking up in the wee hours and staying awake! I think I fell asleep on the couch around 11:30, woke up in a panic around 1 am to a dark house...hubby had gone to bed. Went upstairs and tried to sleep, but then all the thoughts came flying into my head and I was up. One of my biggest issues with my anxiety is that is comes into my head at night and even when the worries are ones I can fight with facts, the overall anxious feeling keeps me up. Let me tell you folks, I may get a whole lot done in a day, but there is a serious price to pay for that insanity.
So here I sit and I know what has brought this on for me. The news today that John Travolta's son had a seizure which caused him to hit his head and die from his injury. See, Haven has seizures, and while we are told hers are limited to absence or petit mal seizures, she can still hurt herself when having one. She is medicated, and it seems to be helping, but anyone who know my family knows that we never reach the end of the diagnosis with Haven. For example, she sees the neurologist next Saturday and I need to explain some other bizarre behavior we are seeing. Now with Haven it could be her seizure meds need to be upped, or it could be the auditory processing problems, or it could be the processes within her brain which misdeveloped, or it could be a new food issue, or it could be something new and random or it could just be her personality. We never know with her. There is this wall that prevents Haven from being all she can, and we have been chipping away at it since she was born. She is a bright, creative, funny little girl, but she is also impulsive, explosive, unable to focus and distracted. How do we get the good out? I guess I need to get the chisel out and chip away some more.