it isn't dread, or fear, or concern...it is almost like homesickness. I get it sometimes when I feel overwhelmed by my life, or if I am feeling unsuccessful, or when there are big changes looming. My mom left today and we had a nice, if not quick, visit. I am so thankful that my parents make time for the kids and that they know their accomplishments and want to celebrate with them. Right now I feel the changes coming, with the new baby and the mother in law, and it makes me feel homesick. These are the days I long to be back on LI, back where it just seemed easier and different and comfortable. For all my complaints about it, it is my hometown and I miss it when I feel I need security. For us, it is simply not an option, it doesn't match our lifestyle or our needs and jobs for us do not abound there. I ache to get out of Virginia, I really despise being stuck here, but we are for at least the next five years.
Also when I feel homesick, I think about my accomplishments, and for me, I just don't feel I have done enough yet. So onward I plan, I think of what is coming and what I want to do. I really enjoying teaching, and will continue to do it, but when the doctorate is done, what can I do. Law school is a definite option, especially as the kids get older. Another is medical school, although my husband thinks I am crazy, but I would love to learn medicine and law, what a wonderful opportunity that would be. It will really depend on where I am teaching, if they have a law or medical school associated with them that will take me on....fingers crossed :)