I was cautious when I knew I would be off work and school when the baby comes since I really enjoy being busy, but it has been such a blessing! To be fair, I am still sort of teaching one course (shh don't tell) and doing a few small administrative things, but really not much at all. I am actually lucky enough not to have to start back to taking classes until the end of October, I only have two classes left but needed to space them due to residencies and comps. I start back to PT school the first week of September and will head back to FT work around the same time, plus the girls will go back to school then. I am hoping we can acclimate well in September, at least my schedule is one where it is easy for Ryan to have all the kids and sleep!
I am having a hard time getting out, and prefer to just hang at home. It has been harder than I expected with Ryan back at work this week, so much so that he asked if I wanted him to take a week or two off, but I explained that I really need to find my groove. I did make it clear, that he will be taking a day off here and there to help me though!
Hopefully by the end of next week we will be doing more and getting out more, it will help with everyone's moods!
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Rough night
Last night was a rough first night. Teagan wouldn't go to sleep and wanted to nurse for hours. Grayson was also up and not sleeping because the baby was fussing. I think we fell asleep around 3:30 am, and then she was up again at 6:30 to eat, then we were downstairs before 8 to feed the other kids. I was very thankful that I had made crockpot oatmeal because we had an easy breakfast ready to go. Baby nursed for another hour then finally was calm enough to head to the swing to nap. I was able to get a little vacuuming done and switch the laundry, I also switched out the oatmeal for a pork roast to cook for dinner. Since Haven has dance, I need a simple precooked meal, so I am making BBQ pork and will make corn bread this afternoon and a tomato and cucumber salad so we will be able to eat when we get home. I need to go to the store, but it will have to wait until tomorrow, I just don't have the energy to take all four out twice today!
Still on the plan, the dishes need to be washed and I am really hoping to mop the floors. I also want to do some organizing in the kitchen, but will need to see if Teagan cooperates and I hope to grab a shower when Ryan gets home. I also decided to indulge myself and order some new shirts from Old Navy, all my pre-pregnancy ones are too huge and my maternity ones just look silly. I scored big time, four shirts and a skirt shipped for 25 bucks...NICE!
Still on the plan, the dishes need to be washed and I am really hoping to mop the floors. I also want to do some organizing in the kitchen, but will need to see if Teagan cooperates and I hope to grab a shower when Ryan gets home. I also decided to indulge myself and order some new shirts from Old Navy, all my pre-pregnancy ones are too huge and my maternity ones just look silly. I scored big time, four shirts and a skirt shipped for 25 bucks...NICE!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Fear and loathing
Tonight we were blessed with a tornado warning at dinnertime. Not a watch, a warning. This, or course, on my first night I will be home alone with all the kids, and when we get one warning, we usually get many. While Ryan was home and he was calm and helpful, I had my traditional meltdown. I really hate the weather here, I mean I HATE it. These storms come without warning and you can check the weather and all be fine and then BAM ten minutes later there be a huge thunderstorm or worse!
I want to leave, I wanted to be out of this house a year ago but we can't move until the market is better. It is, however, getting there and I am really hoping that we can move in two years or less. I simply cannot take many more summers here, they are scary and stressful for me.
I want to leave, I wanted to be out of this house a year ago but we can't move until the market is better. It is, however, getting there and I am really hoping that we can move in two years or less. I simply cannot take many more summers here, they are scary and stressful for me.
Two weeks!
Teagan is two weeks old today, and this is our first go at Ryan heading back to work and me being alone with all four kiddos. While I have done this many times before, it is a shock to the system any time I have had help for awhile and then needing to go it alone. While I am anxious to get back to a schedule of sorts, being that we really haven't had one since June, I am anxious that no major issues come up....four kids at night is a lot for one mama to juggle!
I am thrilled that we are moving forward, but I also still tired and sore from doing too much. I also have to figure out how to get all four kids to Haven's dance class tomorrow and Brittan's on Friday and have something for dinner both nights. Thankfully this is the last week of dance until fall, and the girls will be taking classes the same night when Ryan is also home, so we can juggle as long as Gray doesn't have T-ball at the same time.
A realtor called us today, which was random, but he said that housing prices were up about 15% in the last 90 days and that it looks like they will continue to limb. Fingers crossed he is right because I really need to move away from here in the next two years.
I am thrilled that we are moving forward, but I also still tired and sore from doing too much. I also have to figure out how to get all four kids to Haven's dance class tomorrow and Brittan's on Friday and have something for dinner both nights. Thankfully this is the last week of dance until fall, and the girls will be taking classes the same night when Ryan is also home, so we can juggle as long as Gray doesn't have T-ball at the same time.
A realtor called us today, which was random, but he said that housing prices were up about 15% in the last 90 days and that it looks like they will continue to limb. Fingers crossed he is right because I really need to move away from here in the next two years.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
The reclaiming process
It is time for me to reclaim my house, my kids and my life. Teagan is two weeks old tomorrow, I still have a hard time believing we have been enjoying her that long! I get very anxious when things are out of my control, and the two weeks leading up to delivery and the last two weeks since I have been an observer and occasionally commenter, but not at all in charge of anything here. I am feeling the anxiety, so I need to gain some control again.
Ryan took the night off, so today we will get the house in order, the upstairs organized and vacuumed and make a start on the downstairs. I will cook dinner, and will do laundry and the kids will do their chores. Since he heads back to work tomorrow, I need to be in control of what and where things are, the house needs to feel clean to me and I need to start to venture out with everyone alone....although I may hold off until next week for that!
Ryan took the night off, so today we will get the house in order, the upstairs organized and vacuumed and make a start on the downstairs. I will cook dinner, and will do laundry and the kids will do their chores. Since he heads back to work tomorrow, I need to be in control of what and where things are, the house needs to feel clean to me and I need to start to venture out with everyone alone....although I may hold off until next week for that!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Simple moments
It has been a tough day, and there will be many more to come I know. I am tired and feeling as though my family expects me to be back to normal, but I am not there yet and my hormones are still a mess.
However, even through the rough day, I am able to see what is in front of me. I have a good, strong,imperfect marriage, and maybe the imperfections are needed to keep us working on not taking it for granted. I have four children, when so many struggle for even one, I am fortunate enough to have four. They are healthy enough, and while dealing with Haven's issues is a struggle which seem never ending and which I believe there are more diagnosis to come, I know we can handle it. I feel like I struggle to parent her a lot, but I do my best every day and hope that it pays off someday, that she knows that I struggled to find the best way to reach her, help her and direct her. The job is not pretty, but I want her to be successful and happy, and I am doing what I can to get her there.
I am so very thankful for Teagan and her health as well. She gave us quite a scare and while we know there still may be heart issues, they are minor compared to what we thought we were facing. We see her cardiologist tomorrow and I anticipate we will start the watch and see phase of things as we see how growth and development affect her heart.
I am also thankful for my health, this pregnancy was a roller coaster and I was terrified of losing my life in the process. While not afraid for myself, I was afraid for Ryan and the kids, and I worried about how it would affect them. I am happy that my cardiologist was pleased with my echo, and I hope that the next one in six months is even better. I also am now 30 lbs lighter than when I got pregnant with Teagan and only 25 lbs heavier than when I got pregnant with Haven...not too shabby for four kids! I am hoping to drop another 15 lbs to help make myself as healthy as possible so I am around for a long, long time.
However, even through the rough day, I am able to see what is in front of me. I have a good, strong,imperfect marriage, and maybe the imperfections are needed to keep us working on not taking it for granted. I have four children, when so many struggle for even one, I am fortunate enough to have four. They are healthy enough, and while dealing with Haven's issues is a struggle which seem never ending and which I believe there are more diagnosis to come, I know we can handle it. I feel like I struggle to parent her a lot, but I do my best every day and hope that it pays off someday, that she knows that I struggled to find the best way to reach her, help her and direct her. The job is not pretty, but I want her to be successful and happy, and I am doing what I can to get her there.
I am so very thankful for Teagan and her health as well. She gave us quite a scare and while we know there still may be heart issues, they are minor compared to what we thought we were facing. We see her cardiologist tomorrow and I anticipate we will start the watch and see phase of things as we see how growth and development affect her heart.
I am also thankful for my health, this pregnancy was a roller coaster and I was terrified of losing my life in the process. While not afraid for myself, I was afraid for Ryan and the kids, and I worried about how it would affect them. I am happy that my cardiologist was pleased with my echo, and I hope that the next one in six months is even better. I also am now 30 lbs lighter than when I got pregnant with Teagan and only 25 lbs heavier than when I got pregnant with Haven...not too shabby for four kids! I am hoping to drop another 15 lbs to help make myself as healthy as possible so I am around for a long, long time.
Back to the grind
We are trying to get back into the groove. Ryan is taking an extra day off this week which will help, then I will have the kids alone Weds-Fri nights. As long as we don't get any major weather events, we should be ok...if we have storms, I will be a wreck.
Today I have done the dishes, laundry and vacuumed. I also need to dehydrate a ton of onions and do some general organizing. Ryan and the kids are picking and weeding the garden, and that should give me some more stuff to process. Pickling cukes are coming in, so I am looking forward to making pickles. We also have a bunch of tomatoes getting ready to ripen, we have two zucchinis, there is butternut squash growing and the regular cukes are getting ready. Not our best year, but not our worst either.
I am anxious to find our groove, hopefully we will be able to quickly so I can get the kids out of the house more regularly.
Today I have done the dishes, laundry and vacuumed. I also need to dehydrate a ton of onions and do some general organizing. Ryan and the kids are picking and weeding the garden, and that should give me some more stuff to process. Pickling cukes are coming in, so I am looking forward to making pickles. We also have a bunch of tomatoes getting ready to ripen, we have two zucchinis, there is butternut squash growing and the regular cukes are getting ready. Not our best year, but not our worst either.
I am anxious to find our groove, hopefully we will be able to quickly so I can get the kids out of the house more regularly.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I miss my husband
This has been a long week, and being that he only works 4 nights and we still have tomorrow night to go...it has been a LONG week. I am thankful my mom is here,but ready to get my house back too. I am also at that awful point where I am hating the husband's schedule. As he works nights, I am alone all day and night on work days. I don't mind having the kids, but miss the company at night, and would love him to have a regular schedule.
We need a plan, a plan to get out of Virginia, a plan for his schedule, a plan for life. I really hate it here, and he is not a fan either, but we have been stuck due to the whole housing thing. We have looked to move back to Long Island, we have also looked to move to upstate NY, it will all depend on who's job we move on. I know we are looking at two years minimum, but I can live with that. Maybe Ryan will find a job in NYC and we will move to LI or upstate and I will keep my online gig. Maybe I will find a new online gig and he will find something and we will move, maybe I will find a new gig and he will stay home with the kids....who knows! What we do need is a time frame for starting to look. I think we will need to wait until we can sell the house or at least rent it for the mortgage...we will have to see what happens, but all I can hope for is a new place to live and a husband home at night in two years time.
We need a plan, a plan to get out of Virginia, a plan for his schedule, a plan for life. I really hate it here, and he is not a fan either, but we have been stuck due to the whole housing thing. We have looked to move back to Long Island, we have also looked to move to upstate NY, it will all depend on who's job we move on. I know we are looking at two years minimum, but I can live with that. Maybe Ryan will find a job in NYC and we will move to LI or upstate and I will keep my online gig. Maybe I will find a new online gig and he will find something and we will move, maybe I will find a new gig and he will stay home with the kids....who knows! What we do need is a time frame for starting to look. I think we will need to wait until we can sell the house or at least rent it for the mortgage...we will have to see what happens, but all I can hope for is a new place to live and a husband home at night in two years time.
Due for an update
We have been busy, as can be expected! My mom came back on Tuesday, which was a great thing since I managed to get myself super stressed out about how I was feeling. I have a heart condition which when I was pregnant this time became much worse. I was having some odd feelings and I couldn't figure out what was normal post surgery, what was stress, what was anemia, what was exhaustion and what was a cardiac concern. By yesterday morning I was convinced I was going to drop dead, and so I called my doc and they got me right in, did my EKG and Echo and seems what i was feeling.....was better :) I am weak, tired and get a little breathless if I do too much. My heart rate is low and my blood pressure up a bit for me, but my heart function looks great and the numbers they use to determine how bad things are looked really great this time. I now know that what I am feeling is probably the anemia tied with the exhaustion and the "I just had surgery and am older now" feeling. My mom and the kids and I are going to lunch today, my first fun outing since having Teagan a week ago, and I am sure it will wipe me out,
I am looking forward to Ryan's days off, I can head upstairs at 4 and rest most days, and that really seems to help with the exhaustion. We do have an appt for the baby's cardiologist on Monday, but Ryan will be around to take us, so that helps a lot too.
I also have to brag that I got on the scale this morning and I am down 25lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight...yep, I LOST weight being pregnant. 15 more lbs and I am at my goal and think I look pretty good for having four kids!
I am looking forward to Ryan's days off, I can head upstairs at 4 and rest most days, and that really seems to help with the exhaustion. We do have an appt for the baby's cardiologist on Monday, but Ryan will be around to take us, so that helps a lot too.
I also have to brag that I got on the scale this morning and I am down 25lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight...yep, I LOST weight being pregnant. 15 more lbs and I am at my goal and think I look pretty good for having four kids!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
True Love
Wow is all I can say regarding the last few days. It always amazes me how your heart grows when you fall in love, and I am on top of the world right now. I am very truthful in discussing my family. My marriage started rocky and we struggled for a long time. We still have days where our opposite personalities and approaches make for colorful conversations. The one thing I know now, almost 10 years into marriage, is that all I ever wanted in a husband was someone who loved me and loved our children unconditionally, and I have that. Socks on the floor be damned, Ryan would do anything for us and I know that he loves us deeply. He is also the best father I know, and he brings things into our childrens lives that I could not offer and he gives them a different perspective and a whole lot of silly fun. Are there things I would change..of course! Am I thrilled to share my crazy life with Ryan and these four children, without a doubt. I think we are the luckiest people on earth, four healthy, beautiful, quirky and interesting children and a marriage that walked through the brambles into the flowers.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Walk really slowly
Wow it has been a long day!
I figured I would be released today, my surgery was smooth and the recovery was going well, so my doctor and the hospital like to get you out as quickly as possible since you do better at home. The nurses kept asking me if I was leaving and I said I hadn't seen my doc yet, but figured. Ryan came in the morning, I showered and got dressed and was waiting for my parents and the kids to come up for Brittan's birthday when my doc came in. He and I have a history, four high risk pregnancies over 10 years, and one really bad delivery, you tend to get comfortable! He came in and said I could go home and that if I needed anything call, but I know the drill. Called home and caught the parents just after they left, so they came home, my kids stayed with my mom and my dad got our car to come get me. Ryan worked last night and needed sleep, so we were making plans on the fly!
They did my papers quickly, being that I really didn't need much, and we flew out when my dad got there.....then we sat in traffic for an hour and a half to get home, should have taken 25 minutes tops! Dropped my meds off at the pharmacy, and came home to three very excited kids. The big issue was that I came off my meds around 3 o'clock and didn't get my new meds until 8, needless to say, there were loads of tears from me...it is surgery and it does hurt!
Now I am in my bed, baby by my side and drugs in my system! My mom is sleeping upstairs and will help with the kids as needed, my dad is downstairs and Ryan is off to work. I know it gets better, and when I am not in horrific pain I can see that we will be fine, but never again will I let the meds wear off!
I figured I would be released today, my surgery was smooth and the recovery was going well, so my doctor and the hospital like to get you out as quickly as possible since you do better at home. The nurses kept asking me if I was leaving and I said I hadn't seen my doc yet, but figured. Ryan came in the morning, I showered and got dressed and was waiting for my parents and the kids to come up for Brittan's birthday when my doc came in. He and I have a history, four high risk pregnancies over 10 years, and one really bad delivery, you tend to get comfortable! He came in and said I could go home and that if I needed anything call, but I know the drill. Called home and caught the parents just after they left, so they came home, my kids stayed with my mom and my dad got our car to come get me. Ryan worked last night and needed sleep, so we were making plans on the fly!
They did my papers quickly, being that I really didn't need much, and we flew out when my dad got there.....then we sat in traffic for an hour and a half to get home, should have taken 25 minutes tops! Dropped my meds off at the pharmacy, and came home to three very excited kids. The big issue was that I came off my meds around 3 o'clock and didn't get my new meds until 8, needless to say, there were loads of tears from me...it is surgery and it does hurt!
Now I am in my bed, baby by my side and drugs in my system! My mom is sleeping upstairs and will help with the kids as needed, my dad is downstairs and Ryan is off to work. I know it gets better, and when I am not in horrific pain I can see that we will be fine, but never again will I let the meds wear off!
Happy Birthday Brittan
Today my second child turns 7! Brittan is such a sweet kid, bright and helpful and always ready to take on a challenge. She is very studious and enjoys learning, and we are so happy to have her in the mix. I cannot wait to see her today so I can give her a hug and kiss and tell her how thankful we are for her!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Anxiety
Tomorrow is the big day and while there is something wonderful about just checking into the hospital, it does give you time to worry and be anxious.
My parents arrive tonight and it is my mom's birthday. Tomorrow morning will be a normal one, then Ryan and I leave just before 11. All I am hoping for is an on time, easy c-section and healthy mom and baby. The anxiety the last few days has been building, first for the testing yesterday and now for the surgery tomorrow. I will be happy when it is all over, but ask that everyone send their best wishes, good thoughts, prayers and positive juju our way around 1 pm tomorrow. Thanks :)
My parents arrive tonight and it is my mom's birthday. Tomorrow morning will be a normal one, then Ryan and I leave just before 11. All I am hoping for is an on time, easy c-section and healthy mom and baby. The anxiety the last few days has been building, first for the testing yesterday and now for the surgery tomorrow. I will be happy when it is all over, but ask that everyone send their best wishes, good thoughts, prayers and positive juju our way around 1 pm tomorrow. Thanks :)
Sunday, July 12, 2009
For my own personal review later
when Teagan is older and losing her babiness....NO MORE KIDS!! OK,just wanted to remind myself that four kids is all I ever wanted, and I am blessed to have them.
Loose ends
Wow, we are getting so close I can feel it...in my thighs, belly, hips and nether regions :)
My whole crew is on a weird sleeping schedule, we slept until nearly 9 am! Then the hubby made us yummy pancakes and Haven and I went out to finish up preparations for Brittan and Nana's birthdays this week. I needed to get a few things for Brittan, namely two short and a Webkinz, decorations for the dining room, magnetic printer paper to make my mom's birthday gifts and we needed to vacuum out the car. Got it all done and tne came home and installed the baby's carseat. It is so strange to see an infant seat in my car...to be honest, we have never HAD an infant seat in this car, we got it after Grayson was out of the infant carrier! All the kids have been moved about, Gray and Brittan are in the way back in their boosters, the baby is behind the driver's seat and Haven has her choice of the window or middle seat next to the baby since she is booster free and both spots have shoulder belts. It is nice that she will be able to sit next to Teagan and help, plus Brittan is right behind her and will be ready to make faces and do the things needed to make Teagan giggle.
Th rest of the day is all about final preparations. I have laundry to do, bathrooms to clean and some last minute organizing. Ryan is working on the new furniture for the family room, the kids will do some chores and I will make tequila cilantro shrimp with rice and salad for dinner. I have a ton of produce to use up, so we will be eating well the next few days! Tomorrow we need to drag our butts out of bed early, drop the kids off around 7:30 and go up for the amnio, hospital registration and non-stress test. Then home to relax again. Tuesday is final prep for Nana and Papa's arrival that evening and I know the kids are excited. It is also Nana's birthday so we will make some treats to enjoy that night. Wednesday we will have an easy morning, Ryan and I will leave a little before 11 am and hopefully if all goes as planned, baby will be born around 1 pm. Then we will be a completed tribe!
My whole crew is on a weird sleeping schedule, we slept until nearly 9 am! Then the hubby made us yummy pancakes and Haven and I went out to finish up preparations for Brittan and Nana's birthdays this week. I needed to get a few things for Brittan, namely two short and a Webkinz, decorations for the dining room, magnetic printer paper to make my mom's birthday gifts and we needed to vacuum out the car. Got it all done and tne came home and installed the baby's carseat. It is so strange to see an infant seat in my car...to be honest, we have never HAD an infant seat in this car, we got it after Grayson was out of the infant carrier! All the kids have been moved about, Gray and Brittan are in the way back in their boosters, the baby is behind the driver's seat and Haven has her choice of the window or middle seat next to the baby since she is booster free and both spots have shoulder belts. It is nice that she will be able to sit next to Teagan and help, plus Brittan is right behind her and will be ready to make faces and do the things needed to make Teagan giggle.
Th rest of the day is all about final preparations. I have laundry to do, bathrooms to clean and some last minute organizing. Ryan is working on the new furniture for the family room, the kids will do some chores and I will make tequila cilantro shrimp with rice and salad for dinner. I have a ton of produce to use up, so we will be eating well the next few days! Tomorrow we need to drag our butts out of bed early, drop the kids off around 7:30 and go up for the amnio, hospital registration and non-stress test. Then home to relax again. Tuesday is final prep for Nana and Papa's arrival that evening and I know the kids are excited. It is also Nana's birthday so we will make some treats to enjoy that night. Wednesday we will have an easy morning, Ryan and I will leave a little before 11 am and hopefully if all goes as planned, baby will be born around 1 pm. Then we will be a completed tribe!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Surreal
The whole idea that a new child is joining us in a mere five days is surreal. While I have done this three other times, it has been nearly five years since we added a child to the group. I cannot express how excited I am to see, touch, and hold my new daughter, but the fact that it will happen in less than a week is bizarre to me. We are so established here in kid-dom, no more babies here anymore, so this new little one will benefit from the attention, love and doting of three older siblings.
The kids and I went up to the big mall today and thankfully it was nearly empty. We walked down to Carters and I was able to grab a few outfits for the baby for winter, although I am a little worried they will be too big on her, we will have to see, I think they will work. I also popped into The Gap since sometimes I can find something cute, but they had next to nothing. However, I did grab two little pairs of pants and matching shirts for under $15 and they should work well or Fall. It was fun looking at all the little items, the frills and cute stuff, but again, surreal.
Tonight Brittan has dance and I will be taking her up there. While I am gone, Ryan will feed the other kids a fancy dinner of waffles, sausage and fruit :) This is his last night of work until after the baby comes, I will have loads of help the first few weeks and I am thankful for that. All I hope is that I can get the things I want to get done before the baby comes, most are things Ryan needs to help with, so it may be a challenge.
The kids and I went up to the big mall today and thankfully it was nearly empty. We walked down to Carters and I was able to grab a few outfits for the baby for winter, although I am a little worried they will be too big on her, we will have to see, I think they will work. I also popped into The Gap since sometimes I can find something cute, but they had next to nothing. However, I did grab two little pairs of pants and matching shirts for under $15 and they should work well or Fall. It was fun looking at all the little items, the frills and cute stuff, but again, surreal.
Tonight Brittan has dance and I will be taking her up there. While I am gone, Ryan will feed the other kids a fancy dinner of waffles, sausage and fruit :) This is his last night of work until after the baby comes, I will have loads of help the first few weeks and I am thankful for that. All I hope is that I can get the things I want to get done before the baby comes, most are things Ryan needs to help with, so it may be a challenge.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Working on it
So the kids and I got up and out early this morning. As I am trying to get labor going, I took them and headed to Wegman's so we could stock the house. We walked and walked and walked, and I am feeling it. Then we did the milk run, and put our order on hold for a few weeks until I recover. Depending on how I feel tomorrow morning, we may head up to the big outlet mall, and when I say big...I mean HUGE outlet mall. I got an email that Carter's and OshKosh are having big sales, and since I need winter/fall clothes for the baby, I figured it was worth it. Plus the two stores are pretty far apart, so it will be good for walking, and there is an ORANGE JULIUS in the mall....that is an excellent incentive!
Still on my list for today is to do some cleaning, make dinner, and a few other odds and ends. Dinner will be chicken, zucchini, squash and tomatoes with rice. The bathroom downstairs needs a good once over and I have some dishes to wash and laundry to fold. This is my favorite time in pregnancy, I know the end is in sight and I can keep busy. Off to clean!
Still on my list for today is to do some cleaning, make dinner, and a few other odds and ends. Dinner will be chicken, zucchini, squash and tomatoes with rice. The bathroom downstairs needs a good once over and I have some dishes to wash and laundry to fold. This is my favorite time in pregnancy, I know the end is in sight and I can keep busy. Off to clean!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Trying to make labor start
So, I saw the midwife today who said she wanted me to try to get myself to go into labor this weekend since it is better for the baby, even though we would still get a c-section. Being that I have good hard contractions on and off, and have for weeks, I know there is some progress, but not sure I can actually get full blown labor going, but I will try. Should make for an interesting weekend!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Let's have a happy post
On the car front, it was painful but could be worse. The car cost $800 to fix, but the alternative was $1600...nice for a three year old vehicle right? There is a maintenance we will need done in the fall that is about $400, but it is easier to pay that then.
So on to the happier stuff. My amnio has been scheduled for the 13th at 8:10 am, and thankfully a fine friend is willing to take my three other kids really early in the morning! After the amnio, I go straight over to preregister for the c-section and then need a non stress test done. All in all, we hope to be out of there by lunchtime.
If the amnio comes back with the baby's lungs mature, which we assume they will be at 37 weeks 3 days, we will have the c-section on Wednesday July 15th at 1 pm. Everything is planned, 8 days until the baby comes :)
When I am stressed, I either cook, clean or both. The house was pretty clean, so cooking began early this morning! Haven had requested homemade baked beans, so I put the beans to soak overnight and started them this morning. They are now all ready to hit the oven in a bit and are sweet and spicy and delicious! The best part about making homemade baked beans is you really can control the flavors, sometimes ours are sweeter, sometimes spicier and sometimes the are BBQ style. I also received a nice head of cabbage in the CSA bag yesterday which has become coleslaw. Along side all this will be grilled sausage and hot dogs, DELICIOUS!
Now I need to switch laundry and veg on the couch some more. All the stress the last few days has taken its toll on me. All I want now is to get through the week and meet my new daughter.
So on to the happier stuff. My amnio has been scheduled for the 13th at 8:10 am, and thankfully a fine friend is willing to take my three other kids really early in the morning! After the amnio, I go straight over to preregister for the c-section and then need a non stress test done. All in all, we hope to be out of there by lunchtime.
If the amnio comes back with the baby's lungs mature, which we assume they will be at 37 weeks 3 days, we will have the c-section on Wednesday July 15th at 1 pm. Everything is planned, 8 days until the baby comes :)
When I am stressed, I either cook, clean or both. The house was pretty clean, so cooking began early this morning! Haven had requested homemade baked beans, so I put the beans to soak overnight and started them this morning. They are now all ready to hit the oven in a bit and are sweet and spicy and delicious! The best part about making homemade baked beans is you really can control the flavors, sometimes ours are sweeter, sometimes spicier and sometimes the are BBQ style. I also received a nice head of cabbage in the CSA bag yesterday which has become coleslaw. Along side all this will be grilled sausage and hot dogs, DELICIOUS!
Now I need to switch laundry and veg on the couch some more. All the stress the last few days has taken its toll on me. All I want now is to get through the week and meet my new daughter.
Monday, July 6, 2009
I apologize
in advance, but the bitch fest continues.
Remember I was worried about the car starter issue? Yep, well after calling a thousand mechanics who assured me it was nothing, the kids and I headed out to go pick up the CSA. Car and I had a chat, and it started up perfectly. On our way there, I noticed the car was driving a little funny...hmmm. Then my stabilitrack light came on..and then again...then we got to the pick up and I looked at my one tire and it looked low. So I started trying to drive to the little store down the road, but we never made it, tire blew out. So then after bawling, calling roadside, calling my husband, calling my parents....finally the tire was changed and the car brought to the shop. We will need 2 tires and then whatever is broken with the starter thing.Parents will be paying for this and we will pay back when I am back at PT school....being a grownup sucks, and all I want to do is give birth and settle in at home. Please can the bad stuff end now!
Remember I was worried about the car starter issue? Yep, well after calling a thousand mechanics who assured me it was nothing, the kids and I headed out to go pick up the CSA. Car and I had a chat, and it started up perfectly. On our way there, I noticed the car was driving a little funny...hmmm. Then my stabilitrack light came on..and then again...then we got to the pick up and I looked at my one tire and it looked low. So I started trying to drive to the little store down the road, but we never made it, tire blew out. So then after bawling, calling roadside, calling my husband, calling my parents....finally the tire was changed and the car brought to the shop. We will need 2 tires and then whatever is broken with the starter thing.Parents will be paying for this and we will pay back when I am back at PT school....being a grownup sucks, and all I want to do is give birth and settle in at home. Please can the bad stuff end now!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Is the day over yet?
Um, well it is not even 10 am...so no!
I actually slept last night so you would think that would help things today....it hasn't. The day began with Haven waking me at 7 am. Everyone else was sleeping, and there is no reason she needs to wake me at 7 am. She could have grabbed a book to read or come downstairs to watch TV, the only thing she couldn't do was make breakfast without at least her sister there....yes she is my oldest, but trust me, she needs Brittan there to help make good choices in the moment. So she woke me, and then in turn woke her brother! We would have all slept another hour, but we had to get up. Came downstairs and checked the counters for ants. Yesterday we saw a few, maybe ten, of the stupid sweet ants we get here so I removed everything and bleached the counters, then sprayed by the window and along the floor. Usually this does the trick pretty well, but I have seen three more ants today and it is supposed to rain, so I will need to rebleach this afternoon. Good times.
By 8:30 the kids had all gotten in trouble for various things. Then I tried to settle them on the couch with dry cereal to watch the fireworks I taped for them. After I repeatedly explained NOT to drop food or spill, a while cup of mini wheats goes flying. How hard is it to sit still and eat mini wheats???? So then, I had to clean up, vacuum again since we don't want the ants in the family room and put the kids at the table with the cereal. Of course, as I am taking their cups to move to the table, Brittan decided to pull her usual hysterical scream at me and tears trick. Seriously, this kid is usually so good, but she is a huge crier and has taken to having screaming outbursts. So then I need to yell at her, and send her to her room for screeching at me and pitching a fit when all I was doing was MOVING the snack! Geez...it is going to be a long, long day!
I actually slept last night so you would think that would help things today....it hasn't. The day began with Haven waking me at 7 am. Everyone else was sleeping, and there is no reason she needs to wake me at 7 am. She could have grabbed a book to read or come downstairs to watch TV, the only thing she couldn't do was make breakfast without at least her sister there....yes she is my oldest, but trust me, she needs Brittan there to help make good choices in the moment. So she woke me, and then in turn woke her brother! We would have all slept another hour, but we had to get up. Came downstairs and checked the counters for ants. Yesterday we saw a few, maybe ten, of the stupid sweet ants we get here so I removed everything and bleached the counters, then sprayed by the window and along the floor. Usually this does the trick pretty well, but I have seen three more ants today and it is supposed to rain, so I will need to rebleach this afternoon. Good times.
By 8:30 the kids had all gotten in trouble for various things. Then I tried to settle them on the couch with dry cereal to watch the fireworks I taped for them. After I repeatedly explained NOT to drop food or spill, a while cup of mini wheats goes flying. How hard is it to sit still and eat mini wheats???? So then, I had to clean up, vacuum again since we don't want the ants in the family room and put the kids at the table with the cereal. Of course, as I am taking their cups to move to the table, Brittan decided to pull her usual hysterical scream at me and tears trick. Seriously, this kid is usually so good, but she is a huge crier and has taken to having screaming outbursts. So then I need to yell at her, and send her to her room for screeching at me and pitching a fit when all I was doing was MOVING the snack! Geez...it is going to be a long, long day!
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Happy 4th
First off, Happy 4th of July to anyone out there who is getting to celebrate it. We will be doing a load of nada here, I am just in too much pain and am too exhausted, plus Ryan has to work tonight. All I want this Independence Day is a quiet afternoon. I do need to cook dinner for the kiddos, it will probably be hashbrowns, ham and eggs...they will eat it, it is healthy, and it is quick! I also need to get a batch of bread going, switch laundry and straighten up a little...I already ran errands with Brittan this morning so that is out of the way. Ryan works tonight, and then is off again tomorrow and Monday night, back to work Tues-Fri nights. He will then be off Sat, Sun and Mon as his regular days, and will need to take Tues and Wednesday to be available for the baby's birth. Juggling work, three kids, a birth and hospital stay is a lot! Seems my parents may split their time, one coming the Tues before delivery and staying through Saturday, that Sunday my sister's family will come for the day to meet Teagan and celebrate Brittan's birthday, then my other parent will come on Tuesday to help out when Ryan goes back to work. Then Ryan's dad and girlfriend say they are coming the last week of July....so it seems I will have lots of help!
Now if only I could sleep. I am having horrible anxiety right now over everything from money to the birth. This is normal for me, but so stressful and it is making me very tired. I am worried about things that are far fetched, and things that are very real, but none of it within my control. Also, I always have to remind myself that no matter what, if something truly horrible happens, or expensive, I am lucky enough to have parents who can and would help us....so many others do not have that option. While I wouldn't want to ask, knowing help is there is always a great relief. Also, with September coming soon, I will be back on the payroll at PT school, and that makes everything much easier. Now if only I can have a solution for next summer ironed out my January, I am tired of being poor in the summertime!
Now if only I could sleep. I am having horrible anxiety right now over everything from money to the birth. This is normal for me, but so stressful and it is making me very tired. I am worried about things that are far fetched, and things that are very real, but none of it within my control. Also, I always have to remind myself that no matter what, if something truly horrible happens, or expensive, I am lucky enough to have parents who can and would help us....so many others do not have that option. While I wouldn't want to ask, knowing help is there is always a great relief. Also, with September coming soon, I will be back on the payroll at PT school, and that makes everything much easier. Now if only I can have a solution for next summer ironed out my January, I am tired of being poor in the summertime!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Let the countdown begin
Saw the doctor yesterday and the current plan is that I will head up to the hospital on Monday the 13th for my amnio. After the procedure I will need to hang out there for awhile just to see if I end up in labor, if not, I go home. When the labs come back, if the baby's lungs are mature, which they should be by then, we will have the c-section very early on the 15th...he was talking a 7:30 am c-section so I will need to be there around 5ish.
While I am dreading the amnio and to be honest, the c-section, I cannot wait to meet my new daughter! So the countdown begins, 12 days until Teagan joins us pending no issues with scheduling!
While I am dreading the amnio and to be honest, the c-section, I cannot wait to meet my new daughter! So the countdown begins, 12 days until Teagan joins us pending no issues with scheduling!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Sometimes it hits the fan....or floor
So, woke this morning, really didn't feel well since I hadn't slept and had contractions on and off all night. Come downstairs and see that the crockpot oatmeal is not completely cooked, so I needed to transfer it to another pot and put it on the stove for a few minutes. Annoyed at the extra dishes, I took my drink and headed to the living room to sit and collect myself. Now the living room is the ONLY room in the house that I don't let the kids in regularly and we don't use it very much. It is the room I recently cleaned top to bottom, including steam cleaning the white carpet, to give myself a quiet place to sit and relax, and a place to take the baby to nurse quietly.
As I approach the living room doorway....I saw it....POOP! Lots and lots and lots of poop, and not the good scoopable kind. Also it seems the dog walked THROUGH the poop and spread it even more around the living room carpet. Oh I cried. Then I went and picked up the big fancy steam cleaner at the grocery store since our household one wouldn't cut it. Then the husband worked on the carpet while the girls and I left to run errands. That was not a good start to the day...then there were a few other hiccups while we are out. No wonder I keep feeling like something bad is going to happen, because it keeps happening! Maybe this will pay off in the end somehow.
In a bit, I am off to the OB...maybe I will get a date for the c-section!
As I approach the living room doorway....I saw it....POOP! Lots and lots and lots of poop, and not the good scoopable kind. Also it seems the dog walked THROUGH the poop and spread it even more around the living room carpet. Oh I cried. Then I went and picked up the big fancy steam cleaner at the grocery store since our household one wouldn't cut it. Then the husband worked on the carpet while the girls and I left to run errands. That was not a good start to the day...then there were a few other hiccups while we are out. No wonder I keep feeling like something bad is going to happen, because it keeps happening! Maybe this will pay off in the end somehow.
In a bit, I am off to the OB...maybe I will get a date for the c-section!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Contractions hurt
I have had quite a lot of painful contractions this evening and I am really hoping they keep up until tomorrow and I get into full labor...tomorrow would be a great day to have this kid!
Occupying my time
So I found a few things to fill the day beyond feeding the kids lunch (PB, apple and honey sammies with yogurt and a few chips) and general household upkeep. I made two loaves of pumpkin bread this morning, one will become french toast when we have breakfast for dinner later this week, the other will just get eaten. I am anxiously awaiting the delivery of my 2 lbs of yeast that I ordered. Packets don't get me anywhere, and the little jars at the supermarket cost 8 bucks each and we run through them too. My 2 lbs will last at least the year and cost less than two little jars. Once that arrives, I can get a double batch of bread going so we have it for dinner tomorrow. I also need to start the chili for tonight, because lets face it, chili needs to cook all day! I just made myself some yummy fried zucchini for lunch, we had beautiful little zucchini in the CSA bag and it was calling my name, and after I eat it up, I will do the dishes, start the chili and start reorganizing the kitchen cabinets. Nesting+too much free time+OCD=hopefully a busy Mama!
What to do, what to do
OK, so I have no where to go today. I also have no work. No school. No dirty laundry. What am I going to do today? I have to feed the kids all day, wash dishes, vacuum, etc, but what else will I do...I fear I may get bored! I wish I had some fabric to try out a pattern for the baby, but I don't think I do..I will have to see what I have laying around. Other than that, I plan to make some chili tonight, and am sure I can find something to clean, maybe the closet under the stairs? I hate feeling bored!
Thankfully, Ryan is off tonight and can keep me company :)
Thankfully, Ryan is off tonight and can keep me company :)
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