Please send back up

My four oldest kids sleep.  They sleep fairly well.  To be clear, I could easily put Teagan to bed at 7 pm and not see her until 7 am and it is rare for her to wake at night.  I could also, potentially, tell the big kids I was hitting the hay at 7 when Teagie went to bed and they would go to bed at 8 as directed and I could sleep for 12 hours...except for one.tiny.little.thing. Finn.

Finn simply doesn't sleep at night, like, at all.  He will go to sleep and sleep for an hour or two and then he wants to get up and eat, you know, the newborn schedule except he is pushing 6 months old and I am over the newborn schedule.  By the time I feed him, settle him, am sure he is sleeping and try to go to sleep (I don't fall asleep easily) he is  up again.  Lately I am lucky to get 30 minutes between feedings, so that is 30 minutes before the 11 pm feeding, 30 minutes before the 1 am, 30 minutes before the 3 am feeding and 30 minutes before the 5 am feeding and then I am usually up for the day since Teagan or Brittan are up by 6:30.  Adding that up, that is a grand total of 2 1/2 hours of sleep a night...on a good night and last night was not a good night.  Now I have been snagging an extra hour or so on the days the hubby is home, but I am so sleep deprived it isn't even funny.  I was supposed to go to the store today but don't think I can handle it emotionally or physically...seriously, I have never felt like I couldn't handle a quick run to the store, ever.

So I am not sure what to do now, how to fix this, how to get him to sleep better.  My other kids were not great sleepers, but by this age I was getting a four hour stretch and usually only doing the 11 pm or midnight feeding and one other, but this schedule is really awful.  I know it will pass.  I know someday he will sleep, probably too much as a teenager and I will then torture him with 6 am wake up calls, but for right now, this feels a bit like hell.  Did I mention Teagan has a fever and doesn't feel well and she has been crying at me since 6:30 am?  Today is not going to be a good day.

It took five kids

but I believe I may have run out of time for blogging daily!

We are just so busy here and about to get busier with all of the end of school events including Haven's fifth grade graduation...I am tearing up a bit thinking about it!

So...this weekend we began our Saturday the usual way with packing up for swim lessons.  Ryan decided to forgo sleep and come with us and the big kids were super excited that he came and saw how they were doing with swim.  After swim we hit the farmers market and loaded up on some of the early produce; onions, fennel, radishes and snow peas.  Then we grabbed subs for lunch and went to the very muddy farm where Ryan picked another flat of strawberries and we got some yummy sausages that we will eat for dinner tomorrow night. I also went back out after dinner with the two big girls to get Haven a new outfit for her birthday event the next day.

Sunday was the birthday event. Haven doesn't turn 11 until the 24th, but this was the only weekend her dad would be home to keep the other kids so we planned to have her mini celebration yesterday.  We will be having a big pool party for the three older kids in June since they all have summer birthdays, but we try to do something small for their "real" birthdays too. So yesterday I took Haven, Brittan and two of Haven's friends to see Prom at the new movie theater just south of us.  My rules for the girls were: 1. Pick any candy you want.  2. Pick any drink you want  3. We will be getting a large popcorn to share.  4.  Have fun!  They had a great time.  The movie was cute...a little long for me, but the girls enjoyed.  They had so much fun driving home in the car, chatting and singing to the radio.  We even hit traffic so it took longer getting home and they seemed happier that they were stuck together in the car!  I do have to say, four tween girls can be LOUD!  It was nice though, they were so good, they were adorable in their cit chat and it gave me a glimpse of what it will be like as my girls get bigger and we can do more things like this together.

Today is paint the bathroom day, yes that bathroom, still not done.  BUT we are so so close!  Just paint and the new vanity and we are done!

Life is good....so good.

I desire change, but it scares me

Oh change my friend, my enemy!  Hubby had an interview this week, not the best fit for a job but they have another position he will interview for in a week or so....praying the money works because this is a great stepping stone to get us to the "big move" next spring/summer.


I am also applying to jobs, I found a few that would allow me to keep my FT teaching gig and work FT from home, but I feel pretty overwhelmed already most days so the idea of another FT job scares me to death.  I also applied for a teaching position at my alma mater that should allow me to work online until we move and then on campus, lets see if they call.  Right now all we are trying to do is ramp up the income for this last year in VA, we want to save as much as we can and pay off the last little bit of debt as early as possible.  We are so so close, the closest we have ever been, and I am getting anxious.  I am scouring the house listings on Long Island, reviewing the schools, figuring out the real estate tax process (egads it is scary) and trying to make sure that when we do move, we move to the right place, the right house, the right jobs. It is a tad overwhelming.

Fingers crossed that we both get new gigs soon, that they pay a bit more and that we find a way to make this move happen as quickly and easily as possible.

Long day, but great day

Today started a little rough, Finn had a really bad night which I think is due to the addition of solids, it is causing his little belly some stress so I am backing off for a few days so he can regroup.  Once the kiddos left, Ryan and I attacked a few things around the house, slice strawberries and started them in the dehydrator and began to get ready to take the babies to the doctor.  Both babies were due for a shot, we vaccinate but on an alternate schedule and we don't give multiple vaccines on the same visit, so we go in quite a lot for shot visits.  On our way, Haven called from school and needed a change of shoes one of the straps on the shoes she was wearing broke, so Ryan ran those up while I headed to the doctor and he met us there after stopping at the school.  Got Finn weighed since last month he hadn't gained, and he put on just over 1/2 lb this month which is pretty good.  He is a long lean baby, his cheeks are deceiving since they are VERY chubby and he sports a double chin, but he has really long chicken legs and his body is very long and thin.  He reminds me of Brittan as a baby.

After the doctor, Ryan ran to the store and I came home and did lunch for Teagan and put her down for a nap and did some work.  Around 2 I couldn't stand it anymore, I was purely exhausted, so I headed to bed for an hour.  Got up and prepped for canning and Ryan and I got a dozen jars of strawberry jam canned while juggling the kids and making them dinner, it was quite a circus.  Then we scrambled to get ready for our date night.  Sitter came and we left and headed to dinner at a local little Italian joint.  The food was so, so good and it was so nice to have a chance to sit across from my husband and talk without interruptions.  We ate, we chatted, it was perfect.  Came home to four of the five tucked into bed and only my little guy awake, so I worked a bit and then took some time to cuddle him, kiss his sweet toes and get him settled for the night.  Good good night :)

The best day I could have on three hours of sleep

I did not hold much hope for today.  Finn had a fussy night and I finally got him resettled around 4 am and fell back into bed looking forward to a few more hours of sleep and then Haven started whining/crying/yelling/complaining that her leg hurt, from her bed, loudly.  I was stuck because Finn just fell asleep and if I got up I might wake him, and screaming to her to be quiet from bed was out of the question too, so I waited her out.  She quieted down and I started to doze and then at 6 am Teagan started screaming, so I tried to wait her out since she will sometimes wake up and then resettle, but she kept at it so I went in and I met with one of the worst things a mother can find....a diaper on the floor.  Yes my darling Teagie had removed her diaper at some point and tossed it out of her crib and everything IN the crib was soaked in pee.  Joy. So I stripped Teagie and carried a naked baby girl and a fussing baby boy down the stairs, cleaned her up and dressed her and started a load of laundry.  It was 6:30 am.

Then Ryan came home and told me he was too tired to come strawberry picking with me.  I understand since that would be like me waking at 3 am and picking berries, but I was still really sad since he has been working so much and every Saturday the kids and I are out and about on our adventures.  Cried a few tears mostly due to my three hours of crap sleep the night before then sucked it up since I still had to get five kids out the door to swim.  My big girls were awesome helpers and made sandwiches for after swim and packed them in the cooler with drinks.  I got babies dressed and got myself ready to go and we walked out the door on time and made it to swim a few minutes early.  After the lesson we piled into the car and everyone ate their sandwiches on our way to the farm where we went and picked almost twenty pounds of berries.  Then we loaded back up since we had passed a farmers market on our way and wanted to check it out. Sadly the market closed at 1 and we missed it by a few minutes, but now we have a plan for after swim next week!  Kids were helpful when we got home, all the berries were hulled and washed and I made some yummy strawberry ice cream for the kids for dessert.  I am looking forward to canning the berries on Monday, we have been without homemade jam for too long!  The next round of berries will get picked Tuesday and will be dehydrated so we can store them for winter use.  They are delicious in oatmeal, granola bars, yogurt, muffins and pancakes.  Mmm, berries!

Crazy is as crazy does

I called my sister and while we were talking I told her I was crazy which she assumed meant work was crazy, which says a lot about both our jobs.  Then I explained that work was fine, and I was ACTUALLY crazy and she laughed because she didn't quite expect me to be calling myself crazy.  It is ok, I go a tad off the deep end around 4-5 months post partum and every May so it is to be expected especially since Finn is just 5 months and well, its May. I am reeling it in and the best part of my crazy is that it lasts a week or two and then goes away for a year, or until I have a baby, but that isn't happening again, well the May thing is but well, you get the idea!  Don't get me wrong, my daily crazy hangs around, but the really whacked out crazy will take a hike for awhile, which is a good thing because there is nothing as awful as being crazy, knowing you are being crazy and not being able to stop the madness. 

Another sign of May in our home, and a much better sign, is strawberry season.  We have strawberry picked for as long as I can remember with the kids every May.  This year we will be hitting the fields Saturday after swim to pick a few flats of berries and then when we get home we will make some fresh strawberry ice cream and Monday will be jam day.  See, crazies are wearing off as we speak!

Sell it baby

I have always found it hard to apply for jobs and talk yourself up, it seems to go against what we are all taught about bragging.  Right now I am "selectively" applying for positions, only ones that I feel passionate about, that work with my research specialization and allow me to still work primarily from home.  I have a few I have sent info out to, but there is one that just last week I saw and would be a perfect fit pending that they hire me as a consultant and not a traditional employee.   I responded to their listing, indicated my background and qualifications and my desire to work as a consultant and not an employee, and I guess we will see what happens.  I am pretty sure there are not too many local folks who specialize in eco-product labels and marketing, but maybe I am wrong, or maybe they want someone's butt in a seat every day.  If I got this and they took me on as a consultant, I would get to work in a field I am incredibly passionate about, get some time away from the house to work on projects, work at various trade shows and conventions which focus on eco-products and boost our financial bottom line.  I think it would be a great opportunity, and while I am nervous about adding a new gig to my work load, I would probably drop PT school from the list since the pay just doesn't balance the work load sometimes. 

I am getting excited about my future.  I love what I do, and I will never leave higher education, there is something great about working with students, but I also want to write books, speak and consult.  I feel like it is worth all the work I have done up until this point, the long hours and tears, and that I will get this pesky dissertation done and it will be a great accomplishment.  It is great to see everything come together and I am hoping that one of the companies/organizations I am reaching out to decides that we would work well together and we will see what the future holds!

Choppy water

It has been a rough and trying couple of days.  Relationships are work, they are compromise, they are putting your foot down when needed, they are tears, and fears and at the end of it all, if what you have is a whole lot of love, you are damn lucky.

So the waters got choppy, things were unstable, but thankfully everyone has emerged, intact and ok.  Just a lesson to never get complacent.

I am too old for this shit

Seriously, I am no longer putting up with people acting in a way that makes me feel bad about myself, not when I am in with both feet, working my ass off and being a good person.  I am REALLY not putting up with my kids paying for it, no way, no how.  You want to act like an ass, fine.  You want to behave like a child, go for it.  You want to choose to act in a way that disrespects me, be my guest, but know I am not dealing with it anymore and the consequences are yours to work through.  We are a valuable commodity the kids and I, treat us as such or risk losing us, I am way too old to play the HS bullshit games.

Leaps of Faith

I always look before I leap, I plan, I obsess, I work through every scenario.  Change is hard for me, yet I constantly crave it and it create inner chaos.  We are trying to move in the next few years and our plan had been to move on the husband's job as my FT gig is from home, but we have started to reconsider.  Ryan's job has become more flexible, so much so that he could probably telecommute exclusively.  My FT gig allows for me to work another FT job, and I miss being "at" work, having coworkers I see and being in the industry.  I will have to step back in soon or I will forever be labeled an academic and not be able to get back in.  I also have great earning potential in the field, something we have known and had in our back pocket, but not something I am ready to move on...or so I thought.

In the last two weeks two jobs have cropped up that are perfect for me.  One combines my background in tourism with my specialization in eco-consumerism and marketing.  This is the one I really love, it is for a non-profit in upstate NY and would be a great move for me and the family.  The main issue is housing.  We cannot sell our house here yet, although we could probably rent it out for most of our monthly mortgage payment.  We could rent up there, and it would be OK, but we are a big family and I would prefer to move once into *our* house.  The other job is based in NYC and also combines marketing and eco-consumerism, this time with recruitment which is something I have done in the past as well.  Another good fit, it would get us back to LI but again the housing issue is a concern.  I also would need to work at least PT from home, my kids are used to that and deserve it, and it makes me a better employee. I applied for both, I guess we will see what happens.  If it is meant to be, we could be moving by the end of summer which is both terrifying and exciting all at once.  Please keep your fingers crossed that we will make good and wise choices because I don't like jumping in blindly!

Wish our Easter Bunny pooped cash

We had a good Easter overall.  The bunny went way overboard and there was way too much "stuff" for th kids, EB must be overtired and easily confused :)

The kids had some fab outfits and I would love to share a picture, but they would not sit still for one!  Thankfully I am planning to have a photoshoot of the kids and these are the outfits they will be wearing, so someday I will have pictures of them :)

My PT gig is wrapping up soon, which is a huge relief.  Ryan and I have started moving on some of our big plans to move, we are actually at a point that if something works out we could move by end of summer, although it really is best for us to wait until next spring, but we are leaving it to fate.  Kids are great, I am still ridiculously exhausted, same old same old around here :)

Best welcome home ever

It was the most craptastified ride home from PA.  It was super swell most of the way, and I knew I was cutting it close to evening rush, so when I stopped to get gas on the turnpike I didn't go inside and get coffee or pee in an attempt to beat the traffic some...major mistake. 

I hit traffic in Maryland and it took over 45 minutes to go 1/2 mile!  Holy hell, then the beltway was a giant mess of wrecked cars and construction.  By the time I passed Tyson's I was going to wet my pants if I didn't stop, so I swung by PT school and ran into the McDonalds to use the facilities.  Then back on the road to sit in more traffic.  The extra 2 1/2 hours was NOT fun, and while I stopped to avoid having my bladder explode, I hadn't pumped since 11:30 am and it was horribly painful.

BUT

As I turned the corner onto our street I saw two maniacs running about.  Brittan and Grayson we running, jumping and waving their arms to welcome me home, and I was so happy to see them.  Got out of the car and Ryan had come out with Teagan who was so excited to see me and once I held her she wrapped her little arms around my neck and held on, tight.  Came inside and found Haven and Finn and said hello and gave them all big hugs and kisses.

The Westin may have pretty rooms and fancy sheets, but nothing was better than climbing into my own bed last night in my house filled with all these crazy people I love.

My iPod defines my life history

So I left for my work trip Monday afternoon, settled into the car and plugged my phone in so I could listen to some music. About an hour into the trip I realized that each song had some significance in my life and as I thought more about it I determined that they all applied to one of three important relationships I have had in my life.

These three relationships are my defining moments and made me who I am. They are how I came to be the person I am today. Of course one of those defining relationships is with my husband, but the story begins many many years before I met him. 

The summer after I graduated from HS I met this guy.  He was fun, interesting, different and sweet.  He was my first real relationship, one where we had real ups and downs and experienced life as adults.  He was a great introduction into the real world, he helped me define myself, he let me try on so many hats to see which fit best and allowed me to be creative and adventurous. I explored the world and myself, learned about who I wanted to become and made a million mistakes.  I learned so much from that relationship and while I was sad when it ended, I left so much stronger, wiser, and confident because of who I became within the safety of that cocoon.  The songs I associate with that relationship are all about dreaming, thinking, being and loving yourself. They are songs of youthful daydreams and finding oneself, and when I hear them I think back on a much younger me and remember all the silly fun we had, and the feeling that the world was at my fingertips.

After we broke up, the next major relationship was when I was a few years into college.  It was hard and intense.  Everything about that time makes my shoulder hunch up a bit and gives me a knot in my stomach.  This was the relationship where I laid it all out, I was in with both feet and wanted it to go somewhere. I wanted there to be a future, but there wasn't and it was for the best although i couldn't see that at the time.  I said it was intense, which is an understatement,  it was also so incredibly draining...we were either head over heels and all over each other or ready to kill each other.  There was no comfortable spot, there was no safe place to fall and the pain was very real when it ended.  I left that relationship broken, truly destroyed and shattered as a result of the dynamics, the situations we dealt with, how we dealt with them and the constant ups and downs.  All that confidence I had after the first relationship, the feeling of security and strength was gone and I was a sad little heap on the floor.  Those were hard, hard times for me.  My darkest days. The next year was spent just trying to put myself back together and finish school. The songs from those times are sad and angry, they make me want to cry out and wish I could remove some of the really bad memories.  I hear them and I feel so sad for the young me, so sad for how I felt and that I allowed myself to get so very hurt by it all.

Interestingly enough during that time my ex from the first relationship and I were friends and I swear he saved me from myself.  He was my date to my sister's wedding just months after the horrific break up so I didn't have to go alone and face everything and everyone.  He made me laugh so I didn't feel all the pain and sadness.  I would go over to his house and just sit on the couch with him, and he made me feel OK again.  That friendship made me feel worthwhile again, made me feel like I was going to be OK and that I was lovable and would find my way. 

About a year after the horrible break up, my now husband and I struck up a friendship at work, then started dating.  He was going to be my rebound, my toe in the dating pool, my re-entry into the world, but somehow he was my beginning and end.  We had a rough go the first few years, but we both decided that the other one was worth fighting for, worth holding onto, worth loving regardless of how damaged and here we are now-loved, happy, supported and strong. The songs that remind me of my husband are the love songs, the strong songs, the safe and secure in your arms songs, because I am home with him.

Hi-ho-hi-ho

Tomorrow I leave for an annual three day conference in Pittsburgh.  I am not packed.  I am no where near ready to go and I booked Teagan's follow up at the doctor for 8:30 am tomorrow and I leave at noon, that should give me just enough time to feed Finn one last time before I go. I have to hustle tonight and get everything packed up!

I am looking forward to the conference in some ways, I really need a good nights sleep and I will get one sleeping alone for three nights.  I like my coworkers and enjoy spending time with them.  A mental break from juggling the five kids and the housework will be nice.  Two long drives, alone, with MY music playing...bliss.

However....I am going to miss the kids like crazy, especially the two babies.  I love the biggies but they are busy, have school and are pretty independent, and while I will miss them, they will do ok with calls before school and before bed.  My babies, oh how my heart aches when I think of leaving them.  They are still so little, and Teagie still feels yucky and I am not sure how Finn will do getting all his meals via the bottle for three days.  I have stored plenty of milk for him, and he has take a bottle every Monday and Wednesday when I taught at PT school, but it was only one bottle and the boy likes to nurse. I worry he won't eat enough.  I will leave tomorrow because I have to, and I will enjoy my moments of freedom, but I will miss my kiddies and be happy to be home, well until I see the mess they left me :)

We have hard days too

It's funny, when I had two kids it was perfectly acceptable to complain when you had a rough day, to ask for help and to whinge and whine about the hard moments and lets face it, when there are kids, there are always hard moments. 

Now with my fab five I find that people really don't like it when I say anything aside from singing the praises of my brood.  I am not sure why that is, I don't complain more with five than I did with two or three, to be honest I probably complain less however it seems like I lost my right to have a bad day and say so!  I know I made the choice to have a larger than normal family, I know it is my choice to take them out places, but don't I get to have a rotten day once in a while too?  Is it not politically correct for us to have whiny kids that get to us, or be exhausted and say so? 

I believe parenting is hard hard work and regardless of how many kids you have, there are days that really suck.  Let the mamas with a brood whine too please, we happily lend a sympathetic ear when moms of two have a rough day,  give us the same courtesy. So who can guess what kid of day I had  :)

Why hello sunshine

It is a glorious day, windows are open and I started dinner early so I can take the kids to the park after school.  Teagan is feeling better, she is still sleepy but all in all she is on the mend.  The babies and I ran errands this morning and I think I am almost ready for my trip, except my car is doing some weird braking thing.  Thankfully I am taking Ryan's car and he doesn't have much to do with the kids and the car next week, thinking we may even be able to drop it at the shop Monday before I go and he can get a ride from the sitter to pick it up.

I have a new venture up my sleeve, well if you are in FB and my friend then you already know, but I am SO excited about it and best of all, I get to partner with some of the best people in the world on it :)  Not trying to keep anyone hanging, but it is just getting started and I won't be ready to "launch" until early summer, so I am just going to keep it underwraps for awhile.

Off to open more windows and soak up some more of today, tomorrow is supposed to be rainy and stormy so I want to enjoy this while I can.

We know how to party

Seriously you have not lived until you have woken up half your brood, put them in a car at 9:30 pm along with a toddler with a raging fever and high tailed it to the local Urgent Care.  Then, while at the Urgent Care, you MUST have your sick toddler wet through her diaper due to the massive amounts of fluids you have pushed on her only to find out you have NO diapers in her size or even her brother's size in the car and only have size 1 disposibles.  In an effort to win MacGyver Mom award, you take two size 1's and fashion a makeshift diaper for toddler planning to be back home within a half hour only to find that the Urgent Care cannot determine what is wrong with the feverish baby girl and that you will then be loading your fab 5 back into the car for a trip to the ER. 

Thankfully the diaper concoction held up until the hubby made it back from work an hour away with a diaper. Then he collected the three big kids and the baby and headed home around midnight leaving the toddler and I at the hospital.  Finally, after a chest x-ray, blood work and a urine sample (NOT fun to get) we left at 2:30 am, toddler still sporting a 102 fever on many, many, many high doses of motrin and tylenol with a diagnosis of a UTI and a script in hand.  It is never dull that is for sure!

Brain dump

Watch out folks I am about to brain dump and I don't want to slosh your shoes...or your bare feet, that would be icky.

I am so tired and so stressed and even more than that I am so.damn.mad at myself.  I HATE feeling the way I feel right now, I hate being over stressed and on edge and overwhelmed.  I hate caring that the house is messy and not being able to accept WHY it is messy...because the husband has been working his ass off on the bathroom so I haven't had help, I have one sick kid, one 4 month old baby that won't sleep, one 21 month old that needs my attention all the time, two jobs, and no sleep!  I get why I feel like things are out of control, but I wish I could accept that it is OK and it will all get done because it always does.

Here I sit just after midnight, I worked tonight and came home and straightened up, pumped so Finn will have milk when I am away next week and I graded.  I have two calls tomorrow, one that I am dreading plus another day of juggling babies, housework and regular work while Ryan tries to make more headway on the floor.  I KNOW it will get done, I KNOW it is OK that it is taking forever, everything takes forever with a houseful of kids and wacky jobs, but I get so damn anxious and crabby and I miss living my life.  I don't want to miss any more moments, any more minutes with my kids stressing over a stupid bathroom or a cluttered corner.  I want to have those moments back, I want to let it roll off my back, I want to care about keeping things nice but accept that sometimes I can only do so much.  I want to enjoy my life, to know I do my best every day and not feel like a failure because the laundry has piled up or the TV needs to be dusted. 

If anxiety is a bear, OCD and Anxiety are a rabid bear and they are infecting me and I am done with it all.  I know where I stand right now, I have stood here about 4 months after every birth and I am right on the edge of postpartum depression, or for me, postpartum anxiety.  I know there are meds, and I know they don't work for my anxiety.  I know that I can pull myself away from that edge, that I can make lists and organize what I can and control small things and throw myself into my family.  I know that I need to sleep and rest my old body and if I can do this I will feel better and I will have more control over my anxiousness.  I know where I am and I am DONE with feeling this way on the inside. I am going to try try try to get control. 

I am going to go away on my trip next week, blast the radio the whole ride, sleep like the dead and enjoy every second I am away while still missing my tribe like mad.  I am going to come home with sleep under my belt, presents in my suitcase and a smile on my face, even if the house is trashed.  I will remember that every spring I feel this way as we approach the end of the term at PT school and I get ready to attack all the projects that have been pushed aside, and I will remember that in a few weeks, PT gig will be over and I will be able to cross things off the to-do list daily.

I am so far from perfect it is scary.  I am so lucky, it is unbelievable.  I am going to try and remember just how good I have it.

Spoke too soon

So I published that last post on Friday night as I sat in my pretty new bed in my pretty new room and planned a fun Saturday of swim lessons with the kids, lunch out and a quick Target run. But then reality set in, at 3 am when Brittan walked in and told me her stomach hurt, REALLY REALLY hurt.  I told her to run downstairs (remember we have NO working upstairs bathrooms) and thankfully she made it and puked.  Yeah.  Meanwhile I was holding Finn who was woken up by everything and I quickly assessed the sick kid and realized she had a fever and she always pukes when she has a high fever.  Took the temp and she was over 103, double yeah.  Called the hubby and tried to figure out how I could be at the doctor with her and swim lessons with the other kids and it was determined I couldn't so I emailed the swim people to get a make up date.  Medicated poor Britt and got her to bed, settled Grayson who had a bad dream and settled Teagan who woke up from the noise and then tried to go back to bed with a very awake Finn.  Needless to say, that was pretty much when my day began. 


Hubby came home,  I checked Britt over and her fever had come down nicely with the meds and she wasn't complaining of anything in particular so we went about our day encouraging her to rest which she did.  Right as I was prepping a gourmet dinner of bacon and eggs, Britt came down from a nap and had a 104 fever while still well medicated...not good.  Hubby was getting ready for work, and was quickly told that I had to take her to the doctor, immediately, since Brittan is rarely sick and she was looking bad.  He called work and said he was working from home and finished serving dinner while Britt and I headed to the new walk in clinic in town.  Got there and checked in and paid the co-pay which is the same as at the ped (LOVE that) and got into a room.  They swabbed her for flu and strep right away and the strep came back positive.  She also has tonsillitis and an ear infection yet she says nothing hurts-weird kid!  Anyway, we finished up and they gave us her meds while we were there-double LOVE leaving with meds in hand! 

She is doing better today and played outside a bit but spiked a fever again tonight so she is home from school tomorrow.  Teagan was super fussy all day and had a 100 degree fever at bed and Haven had a 99.somethingorother, so those two are being watched since strep can run through a house pretty quickly.  So less got done then I wanted, and I am getting a wee bit stressed about my work trip in a week, but what can you do, kids get sick!

Peace

I am so at peace right now.  I am calm and collected and in an awesome mood.  I am one zen mama.  Wanna know why?  Because I have an AWESOME room!!  For too many years our bedroom resembled a dorm room, thrown together, no rhyme or reason, just stuff in a room.  I hated it.  I wanted a pretty room but we never really had the time or money, but this year we found both.

I have a bed, a real bed.  It is white wrought iron and I freakin' love it.  I got all new bedding, new sheets, and a ton of new throw pillows.  i bought two new end tables, that match, each other AND the room!  The room is all cleaned up, organized and rearranged and I finally feel like I have a grown up room.  I have a few small things left to do, we need to put the TV on the wall, I need to swap the table and the treadmill and we need to bring the pew up from the garage and put pillows on it, but right now it is totally peaceful and serene, which is great because the rest of the house makes me want to pull my hair out.