OK, I promise my bitchy pregnant hormonal self will return soon, but for now, I am all mushy, sentimental and blubbery.
I cannot believe my good fortune. I see school starting around the corner, and while I will miss my three big kids when they go to school, especially my Grayson who I have had here under my wing for six years, and I know that we are moving towards the holidays. Thinking tonight of the holiday season, of fires in the fireplace, crisp cool breezes, socks on feet and Christmas decorations, I realized that we will get to share all of this with Finnian too. I look at my children, my husband and our home, and feel so very blessed and lucky that this is MY family, that those are my babies and that my husband has chosen us, this family and our life together. I am very clear that our early years were hard, very hard, and I often wondered if our marriage would survive, but here we are more than 10 years later and I am still excited to see Ryan when he gets home.
Soon I will be washing little-little clothes again, and we will be preparing for our newest son. I cannot wait to see him, to hold him and to introduce him to his adoring siblings who talk to him every day. I am amazed at the excitement from the three older children about the new baby, and there deep love for Teagan, as I feared they would have been unhappy or put off by the changes she brought to our world. On the contrary, I have seen love grow in all of them, they race to hug her, they shower her with kisses and they greet her each time with enthusiasm and love...it is amazing to see such sweet pure joy come from your children. There are daily disputes over who gets to hold Teagan and who will get to hold Finn, and they have all expressed how happy they are that they get to have TWO baby siblings to play with and love. They cheer for Teagan when she says something new, or does something sweet or funny, and even when she is gross and drools on them, they simply shrug it off as "what babies do"
There are folks that believe you do children a disservice by having a larger than normal family, but in my home, when I look at these four sweet souls, I can't see where it has wronged them, and I cannot wait to see them grow up into adulthood, the five in my tribe.