Friday, August 27, 2010

Removing blinders

I have OCD and all knew that.  When I am tired, stressed, overwhelmed or hormonal....these disorders run rampant.  The last few weeks have been stressful and overwhelming and tiring and hormonal, and therefore I have a hard time seeing through the messes that happen, the noise, the workload, blinders go one and anxiety puts down roots.  Summer is always hard for me, and the last two summers I have been pregnant which lends itself to OCD and anxiety overload!

For me, the fall and winter are calming.  The cool breezes, the cozy evenings, the hoodies...all good for my soul.  When we got home from the trip to RI from hell...that post to come once I get over the stress of it all.....I walked into a house that felt clean and calm minus the dog hair from when we were gone :)  I need that feeling all the time, it is good for me, it makes me feel relaxed.  Today we cleaned early in the day, and I feel much better.  Got most of my work done and have actually felt calm, it has been nice.  Once the kids are at school and I get into my routine with PT school and Teagan, I think the calmer days are ahead.  The days when I can bake bread again.  When the house feels comforting.

The messes will remain, currently the living room is home to all the clothes from the trip and the upstairs needs some major straightening, but today, today it seems doable, and the blinders and anxiety are off.

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