I have been thinking long and hard about my anxiety and my OCD and my need to be perfect and do everything and overachieve. I know the roots of it all, so no need to spend time discussing that, but what I need to figure out is how to not allow these things to take away from my life and joy. With a houseful of people, I need to determine how to fit my two jobs plus the extra classes I am writing, my doctoral program, housework and my general craziness all together in a way that makes everyone happy and allows me to feel like the days are mostly good and not anxiety inducing.
With school starting, I guess now is as good a time as ever to try to make changes. I am planning to schedule time to work every day, even if it means the baby screams in her swing for awhile. I need some kind of in and out in the day, I think it will make things easier for me to switch back and forth between work and home. I also want to find more time for our family to be together. This is a challenge with Ryan's schedule, the kids in school, activities and my work, but we need it. I think we will try to do family fun night every Friday when I get home from work. The whole family is here, no one has anything to do the next morning, so we can all play a game, watch a movie, etc. I am going to get a box and have the kids and grownups put in suggestions for things we can do, maybe go out for dinner, go to a movie, rent a movie, make s'mores (winter), etc....so that everyone can come together and enjoy each other. We are also going to TRY to do something as a family one Saturday morning a month. Ryan's schedule is tough and he needs to sleep some on Saturdays, but we can try to do something fun once a month. We know for sure he will be taking a Saturday off in October for the Renaissance Festival, the kids love it and we really want to go, so we are! Other ideas include a local museum, the park, go-karts, etc.
My main goal for the coming year is to be more patient, to not snap at the kids or yell at them unless necessary. Working from home means I can't leave the stress in the car on the ride home from the office, it is extremely difficult to change gears as quickly as I need to, and it leads to a snappy mama. That needs to stop, and I need to find a way to be thankful for the crazy schedule and loud house. So patience, order, structure and fun are my goals...I really hope it works!