Saturday, January 8, 2011

It will never be perfect again

I have to accept that my house will never be perfect again, I lost that battle about three kids ago.  My body will never be perfect again, not that it ever was, but it is changed forever and that came courtesy of kid #1 and each that followed.  Nothing will ever be just "mine" which as a youngest child is hard to grasp and accept, but i share with a house full of people who always want my attention, my time, my lap to sit on, my ears to listen and they even want my chocolate stash :)

Most of these I accepted pretty readily, except the house still makes me crazy that as soon as I get something in order, it is thrown into chaos.  I clean and straighten all day, and on most days I am not happy with how things look at the end of the day but yet I keep truckin' mostly because I can only imagine what it would look like if I stopped cleaning up.  We are crazy busy, and our lives are far from perfect, my kids argue and fight, laundry piles up, floors get dirty, babies wet through, and we make mistakes as humans, children, friends, spouses and parents, but that is OK, because perfect is overrated.  I am so happy with my life and family and if I can chase away my aspirations of perfection and accept "good enough" I think I will be easier for them to live with.  I am trying every day to swallow it, to slow the anxiety and know that someday the house will be empty and then I can make it perfect, but now I need to accept that it will not be perfect and to love it as it is.

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