Saturday, December 18, 2010

Emotions run wild

Well, I have been relatively quiet on the ole blog lately, mostly because I am in the postpartum state where I am a wreck of emotions.  Thankfully this time does not look as bad as after Teagan, but regardless I am struggling with the hormones that come at this stage, the baby blues and my old standby, OCD and anxiety.  That combo, with a dash of my mother's judgment and ever nasty comments (including one little diddy where she stated that she thought I thought no one would love Finn since he was a, yeah thanks that never crossed MY mind until you said that. Why would someone SAY something like that?).  Regardless, I have been trying not to feel like I am incompetent, which is hard when a bit laid up and are totally OCD but can't do what your head wants to do. Next week we begin flying solo so I guess time will tell if I am who I believe myself to be or not.

Anyway, we did have a good afternoon today.  My sister and her family came to meet Finnian and to celebrate Christmas with us.  We had an easy lunch of pizza and veggies and topped it all off with cocoa and Christmas cookies.  The kids loved playing with their cousins and of course they loved getting their presents :)  My sister and I are two really different people, but the last 10 years or so I have really enjoyed the relationship we have developed and I was so happy to see her playing with my two babies today while we chatted.  It was a nice start to the holiday week, I just hope I can survive the visit with my parents.  To say they left on a bad note after Finn was born is an understatement, and the only conversation I have had with my mom since was when she called to yell at me....yeah, not looking forward to the visit, but will bite my tongue and slap on a smile so the kids enjoy. 

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