Sorry my positive pixie dust has run out today. I am exhausted and really need Finn to start sleeping. The newborn schedule should not be going on 13 months later, and while I know it is related to his condition, I am slowly losing my mind. I average 4 hours of sleep a night, non-consecutive hours and I am really feeling it. Everything hurts lately, I can't keep my mind focused and basically when nighttime rolls around I get a sense of dread since I know what is coming, I lay down, fall asleep and as soon as I get deeply asleep, he is up. This repeats all night long and it sucks and I am really done with it.
Add to that I got bleach in my eye today and it hurts really badly and well, no positive voodoo left. Kids will get leftovers, toast or cereal for dinner and I will take a loooooong shower and shed a few tears because I am so damn tired and there is no one to do it for me. I love that little boy with all my heart and I will do whatever it takes to make sure he is well and his needs are met, but it is getting hard to survive when I am so exhausted. Maybe tomorrow will be better.