Saturday, January 14, 2012

Not positive today

Sorry my positive pixie dust has run out today.  I am exhausted and really need Finn to start sleeping.  The newborn schedule should not be going on 13 months later, and while I know it is related to his condition, I am slowly losing my mind.  I average 4 hours of sleep a night, non-consecutive hours and I am really feeling it.  Everything hurts lately, I can't keep my mind focused and basically when nighttime rolls around I get a sense of dread since I know what is coming, I lay down, fall asleep and as soon as I get deeply asleep, he is up.  This repeats all night long and it sucks and I am really done with it.

Add to that I got bleach in my eye today and it hurts really badly and well, no positive voodoo left.  Kids will get leftovers, toast or cereal for dinner and I will take a loooooong shower and shed a few tears because I am so damn tired and there is no one to do it for me.  I love that little boy with all my heart and I will do whatever it takes to make sure he is well and his needs are met, but it is getting hard to survive when I am so exhausted.  Maybe tomorrow will be better.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Keep your chin up, remember that when you get to the end of your rope ....just tie a knot and hang on Enjoy reading your blog. Greetings from the UK. Sue