Thursday, June 17, 2010

GPS is down

I have to admit, the not knowing about Ryan's job has got me on edge.  I am a planner, an evaluator, someone who weighs the options.  We knew that we wanted to move in two years and we were deciding on NY and the west side of VA.  In two years financially we were going to be in a good place to move, we were hopeful the housing market would have come back enough for us to sell the house, and we knew that I would be done with school.  That is in two years.....not now.

Now we need my income from the PT teaching gig and we won't have the cash we need to buy another house.  The current house is not worth enough to sell, and rent wouldn't cover the mortgage.  It is frustrating because Ryan will need a new job, so does he look here or in NY?  A job in NY means I am here all week with the kids, working my two jobs and writing my dissertation.  I would need to hire the sitter to help more, and it would be hard on me and the kids to make this work.  In the end, it would be the best choice as he would be established up there and we could determine what to do about the housing situation when the time comes....but a year and a half of him being gone all week is a lot to swallow.  He cannot even begin looking for work up north until the baby is born, because god forbid he got a job, I would be here alone and very, very pregnant!

I hate when other forces affect our plans.  We had a great plan, one where everything we wanted could happen on our schedule and we would all be together, and now that may change.  I am hopeful that he does not get laid off and we can keep going on track, or that the lay off doesn't happen until after the end of the year which would mean we may only be apart a year or less.  So difficult to imagine and it makes me sad that we have been working for so long towards this goal, and it may get squashed.  Double sigh.

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