Thursday, February 25, 2010

Oh insightful internet world

please help!

OK, so if anyone was reading a year ago, we had my mother in law move in and it took her less than a week to drive me to the brink of insanity. She then left.

She was here because she is a mess. Financially, mentally, emotionally, she makes Charlie Sheen look like a saint.

Now we hear, from brother in law #1, that there are foreclosure or eviction or something notices being posted on her front door. He says she won't tell him anything and that she is drunk all the time. Joy. She won't return my husband's calls. Double joy. Brother in law #2 lives with her...yeesh.

We really don't want her here, she is toxic beyond belief. Imagine all those jokes about in laws, and then throw in a violent, self destructive alcoholic...that is her. She needs help, she needs to stop drinking and smoking and blaming the world for her problems, but we have no idea how to help her. It is at a point that we have considered trying to get her committed just to get her help, seriously she has wasted the last 11 years of her life and has sacrificed relationships with everyone, there is no one left to help (and the brothers are inept and useless, so we can't ask them for anything)

My husband is choosing to ignore this right now, but we are concerned about what happens when she comes home and all her stuff is on the lawn, or worse, the cops come to remove her and she attacks them. I am considering having Ry go to NY this weekend and stage a mini intervention. I am willing to allow her to come her only if she gets into treatment. I found a place here that she could go for both alcohol and mental assistance, although she would have to work to help pay for it, and I could only offer a month or two of help and then she would need to move out. Should we offer this knowing that having her here is bad for the kids, bad for our marriage and bad for my mental state? I believe our family unit will come through fine, a little shaken maybe, but we are strong and loving and forgiving. What if he offers and she says no? Does he cut off communication? I have no frame of reference for dealing with this and there is no one else to help. Anyone have to deal with a family member in crisis and had to play the role of the grownup? Help please!

No comments: