Sunday, March 14, 2010


I often wonder how people define themselves. We all have many roles we play, but which of these truly define us, and identify who we believe we are.

I am always a wife and mother first, before being a woman or employee or even a person. I wonder if this is the root of my problems with feeling taken advantage of? Ryan always tells me to take time for myself, to just do what I want or need, but I really have no clue how to make that happen without relying on someone else to stand in the wife/mother role.

I love my life, my world, my roles. Even on my worst day, when patience is thin and I am stretched to the limit, I wouldn't trade my life for anything else. I would, however, like to be able to define myself differently some days, so that I could look out for me and make sure that my needs are met, just like I make sure my families needs are met.

Mothers take on too much it seems. Those that stay home completely embed themselves in their kid's or husband's lives, working on committees and PTO's and being their for their family's needs constantly. Those who work outside the home focus on work when there, but always with their family on their mind, and when home, they cram all of the mom duties in to a short time, again taking no time for themselves. Then there are the hybrid workers, like myself, where work and home are constantly overlapping and there is no beginning or end to either, which means there is also no chance for "mom time." Being a mom is a hard job, the hardest I have ever done, and I hope that I am doing a good job and that all the sacrifices are worth it and my kids grow into good, strong and productive adults.

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