I associate a lot of life with certain songs, as I am sure many people do.
When I think of my husband, I think of "our" song that we danced to at our wedding and many nights in our first apartment when I was expecting Haven and scared out of my wits. That song is "Yours" by Blues Travelers. Every time I hear it I smile, knowing that even nearly 12 years later, I know that I can put it on and he will dance with me and the world will melt away.
Each of my kids has a song that I sing them regularly, "Good Morning Starshine" from Hair for Haven, "Where are You Going" from Godspell for Brittan, ""Sweet Baby James" by James Taylor for Gray (although I change it to say "Sweet baby Gray") and "Castle on a Cloud" from Les Miserables for Teagan (I change the name from Cosette to Teagan). But for Finn we always sang one of our repertoire, sometimes "Edelweiss" or "Your Are My Sunshine"-the extended version, but nothing ever fit as his song until now :)
Lately the song "The Story" lyrics speak to me when I think of my sweet Finn. I have to remember that no matter what, regardless of the hurdles we face with him, he was meant to be mine and he is perfect as he is. The song makes me cry, but in a good way, because when I hear it I know there are no mistakes in life and that I was meant to be his mama and he was meant to be my little boy, and together than means more than any diagnosis or test.
Finding the peace today with it all, it may only last the day, but I am doing what I can with what I have.