It was a long day. The children were needy, and trying, and by bathtime, I was just done with it all. Add to that the stack of grading I had to do, dinner clean up, vacuuming, baby baths, and so on, and I was REALLY done. Just then a few kids decided to throw fits, and I knew that I needed out. I got up, grabbed my keys and told the husband I was leaving, and with that, I walked out the door leaving him with the screaming kids and baths.
Now before anyone jumps all over me, I have kids 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with the exception of the two days I leave to go to campus to teach my SECOND job. All day while wrangling the four kids, I also do a full time job and take classes for my doctorate, plus cook, clean, do the doctor's appointments, shopping, laundry, and so on and so forth. When I stood up and walked out, was Ryan mad? Put out? Even annoyed? Nope. He knows by now that when I get to that point, let me go, get things back under control and all is well. He understands the pressure I am under daily, and that I can almost never walk away from the reality of the chaos, so when I need a break and it is available, I go for it.
So what did I do? I got in my car and drove to Starbucks and ordered a peppermint mocha and a peppermint brownie. Did I sit there, enjoying the blissful quiet? Nope. I got my stuff, got back in the car and headed towards home. On my way, Ryan called and told me three of the four were in bed, that he loved me, and that he was happy I got a treat. Why did I not sit at Starbucks and take full advantage of being out and about....well because I DO have four kids, two jobs and a doctoral program, and I am needed at home. That little break, that treat just for me, that was all I needed, and the support I got from Ryan made it so much better for me. Knowing I can walk away when needed and that he understands and will hold things together is priceless, especially given our crazy life!