Closure

It is interesting how haunts from your past show up in your dreams. I had a doozy last night, and since I know that the person in question sometimes reads here, I thought I would explain the dream.

So last night I dreamt that a friend from college (Bregger) brought me a funky little laminated card and told me to look at it. On it it said that a certain ex from college had been killed in a car accident on LI. It had his image as well, and I looked at the card and told her I just didn't believe it. Throughout the dream, I reached out to many people from my past to see if it was true, if in fact the world had lost this person, and they kept confirming, and I kept denying. I remember feeling devastated that I hadn't said goodbye and that there would be no opportunity to see each other again, face to face, and have closure. It was a painful dream to have, and the awful feeling has carried into my day. The people who affect us in life, do so forever, and it is incredibly hard sometimes to put it to rest. While I am thrilled to know that this gentleman is alive and kicking, it pains me that it has been 11 years since we sat face to face, and that when things ended, it was so very abrupt. I am curious as to the man he has become, and know that if we were to meet today, with no prior history, he wouldn't recognize who I am now. Life can be so very hard, people come in and out so frequently, and we often forget consciously how much they affect us, but our dreams always remind us of the impact.