The green monster

In every relationship there are times when jealousy comes into play. Whether you are jealous of your partner's free time, their family, friends or exes, jealousy rears it's head a lot and needs to be addressed. In my marriage, there are a few jealousies that linger on my side, and while justified in some ways, in others they are not. We had a rough start, we had a lot of tough years, but I think we have finally reached a point in our marriage where we are happy, secure and content. That being said, those old feelings still bubble up, and while the past is the past, I clearly remember the pain. I know for Ryan there are things in our past that caused him pain, and I also know that he has worked hard to gain my trust and to build our relationship to what it is now. I do wish he saw things through my eyes though, how something that is innocent in his eyes and the eyes of most, reminds me of things in the past. I wish he knew how much I want to be the "one" the one he goes to when he is happy, sad or needs help....always. He has this female friend who I do not like, she reminds me of another of his friends who I despise. From Ryan's side, they really do have a simple friendship, but personally i feel she is working her way into his life too much, she is stepping over a few boundaries, especially when she has no relationship with me or the kids. A wise counselor once asked, why would you want to be friends with someone who did not have your family's best interests at heart...hmm.

Anyway, I will continue to dislike her and hope she falls off the face of the earth, and Ryan will continue to be her friend. I will have to deal with my jealousy and concerns and trust my husband to be the decent guy that I know he is.